I Can See It

You try to hide but I can see you. You’re in the shadows or you’re the shadow. I’m not sure what you are but you make the hairs stand up on the back of my neck, you’re the reason I always look back. Every time my back is turned I can feel your cold shadowy claws reaching for me. what do you want? Why are you here? What or who are you?

I wonder if you’re real or just a haunted memory. I can never get a good look at you why is it okay for you to watch me but not for me to watch you? I’m not sure I understand you; I wish you could communicate I have many questions for you. Why do you hide? Are you scared of something? Are you scared of me? You scared me because I have no idea who or what you are or what you want?

I can feel you, your feelings. You’re cold and dark. You’re scared of something, but I don’t know what. Why are you so dark? Why can I feel all of this? You follow me everywhere I go but no one ever looks at you. Does anyone else know you’re here? Are you allowed to be here? Where did you come from? Why won’t you talk to me? Maybe I can help you.

I’m getting frustrated by your silence, sick of your fear. Stop hiding in the emptiness of the darkened rooms, shadowy doorways. I won’t let you rule my life, you will never get your bony claws on my soul. You can keep hiding away never getting help, never allowing anyone to acknowledge you. Because I’m done waiting for you to ask for help, I’m going to live my life and there’s nothing you can do about it.

So, you can be alone sulking in your shadows, suffering in silence. I’m not scared of you anymore, maybe you can take a leaf out of my book, come out of the shadows stopping being afraid to speak up. You’re only hurting yourself, even after all the torture you have put me through for years I am still willing to help you get to where you need to be.

Just come out of the shadows stop watching me. Let’s get you some help. Emerge from your dark place, it’s okay no one is going to hurt you. Join the rest of the world, I’m sure what ever it is that has forced you into the lonely darkness can’t be that bad. Almost anything can be fixed I promise.

I don’t know what I was expecting to see when I waited for you in the darkest of nights. I had tried to picture you many times in my head, but nothing could have prepared me for who you truly are. It was like looking into a dark, sad, lonely mirror. I couldn’t believe I was being tortured all these years by myself. How could I have let this happen? How could I have let it go on for all this time? Why has this happened?

The thing that surprised me the most is I don’t feel scared anymore. I feel happy and proud but that’s what your feeling too I can feel it I can see it. You’re smiling, your tears have dried up. Is this what you needed all along, for me to realise I am strong, I am fearless, I am confident. Is that what you wanted? Were you just trying to help me?

You reach out one last time; I don’t flinch I let you touch my cheek. You’re not cold anymore, and you’re smiling. You’re filling my heart with love and self-pride. Thank you. I closed my eyes and your touch faded away when I opened my eyes again you were no longer there. You were silent all the way to the end, yet you communicated so much to me, you helped me so much. Thank you.