He who visits

Sarah suddenly awoke with a gasp. The hairs on her clammy skin were on end, and the chill went straight to her bones. Her eyes pierced the darkness and darted around her room, but they couldn’t adjust. They never could when he visited. There was no light here. The darkness felt like a thick fog engulfing her very being, but she could feel him. She could feel the malevolent darkness within him that intruded her soul.

It was like his fingers were reaching out, caressing, enticing her, but she couldn’t move. She was paralysed in a state of fear, frozen in time, with no escape. Her legs were heavy and pressed against her bed. Her body and arms weighed down with a sense of dread and despair as she realised he had visited again. She willed herself to move, yet her body refused to respond and just lay unapologetically, abandoning her. She trembled in fear at the realisation that she had no power against him. She closed her eyes and started praying hard. She repeated the prayer over and over begging, for him to leave. She slowly opened her eyes, but he wasn’t gone. She felt his powerful energy enveloping and consuming her as a tear slid down her cheek.

His energy was strong, intrusive, and she found it difficult to breathe. The darkness felt oppressive, and the air was thick and dense like his mere presence extinguished any light. She sensed movement and suddenly felt a heavy weight on her legs as he moved and pinned her down. She couldn’t move before, but now she felt an increase in fear which tightened in her throat, preventing the scream she felt inside. Trapped in her body and her mind, her thoughts wild and terrified. She could sense his dark presence on her, intensely focusing. She held her breath in anticipation and squeezed her eyes shut again.

Why did this happen, and who was this man that visited her in the depths of night? She didn’t even know if it was a man, but it felt like one, and the feeling was evil pure evil. She was only twelve years old. What could he possibly want with her?

Her parents were religious, she went to church and prayed and on most counts, was a well-behaved girl. Their local priest had given her some holy water which she’d sprinkled around her room, trying to prevent him from appearing again. However, this hadn’t worked. But she hadn’t told anyone either. Not her parents, her brothers, or even her friends. How could she? They would know something was wrong with her or laugh and think she was crazy or worse.

What did it mean for something so evil to regularly visit, paralysing her so she could only lie helpless in pure terror, waiting for him to leave? This was beyond anything she had experienced, and she couldn’t even see him. But she could feel him, and that in itself was terrifying. How could she feel something so strongly that wasn’t even visible?

She realised with a deep, knowing pit in her stomach, it was because she was different. She knew this as she often felt things that weren’t there. Energies or spirits, she couldn’t name what they were, except they were there. She was sensitive to them. Most people didn’t talk about them or didn’t seem to know they were there, so it was her secret.

Her father used to tell stories about his house growing up that was haunted by a spirit. He’d tell chilling tales of his tiny terrace house in The Rocks, Sydney, which was home to 13 children. It was tough times, back in those days and murders were common. There was a room under their terrace with an old bathtub, and his parents would allow local miners to bathe in there.

After one miner was brutally murdered in a nearby alley, he seemed to revisit the room as they’d hear the large metal lock slide across and the big, wooden door creak open, and the bath would then slowly rock. The stories would make her blood run cold as sometimes he would run out and watch the door as he heard the sounds, yet it didn’t physically move. He’d retreat inside and hide in fear. Other nights, he heard panting and footsteps running down the stairs and turning on the tap but look around and nobody was there. These must have been energies he could also feel and hear. Maybe her father was sensitive too?

But this felt different. Why was this malevolent spirit visiting her, and what was wrong with her to attract such a thing? She felt ashamed, hopeless, and alone. She didn’t know what it meant, but she knew that this was not the last time she would wake in pure terror and helplessness. She knew it was only the beginning as a cry escaped her lungs as he started to edge closer.