Ed's Sour Hotdogs

In the city of New York during the year of 1999, there was a hotdog vendor named Ed Bellic, a Serbian man who was rather popular with tourists around Liberty Island. They claimed his hotdogs were the best, for they tasted rather different and oddly sour. Now sour meat sounds foul, but the people who are these hotdogs claimed the sweetness of them was particularly refreshing. The sausages felt like ecstasy against the tongue, at first your taste buds go crazy, you may even feel a little woozy, but then it all blends together and it is simply juicy and delicious, unlike anything you've eaten before! Customers would buy them by the dozen, his hotdog stand was twice the size of most vendors and everyone begged him to reveal his secret ingredients. Yet, Ed would never budge, claiming that his extraordinarily tasty hotdogs was like a magic trick that should never be revealed. News spread like wildfire across New York and even TV star chefs offered him millions to share his secrets, still Ed Bellic refused to share. Now that certainly raised a lot of suspicion. Why on earth would Ed choose to serve hotdogs in the rain drenched city for a living, when he could've sold his secrets and live on a yacht or inside a mansion for the rest of his life. Some said he loved his job that much, he'd happily serve his special hotdogs forever. In fact, he did raise his prices to an unfair degree, but still, it didn't make much sense.

That was until a journalist badgered Ed endlessly, at first the Serbian man wouldn't share, but as the pressure grew into harassment, Ed slipped up and yelled; "It isn't legal!" Then he immediately back-peddled on his statement and claimed, "it is a sacred Serbian secret, one that would, err... Bring dishonour to my people!"

"Yet, that doesn't seem illegal?!" The journalist persisted.

"We have strange rules... Some you Americans would never understand!" Ed roared, storming away from the journalist, but it was too late as she had already secretly recorded the conversation. When the conversation leaked, news of what Ed said was discussed all over the city. Not long after this news broke, the journalist who pestered him went missing.

The New York Police Department was suddenly suspicious, so they sent out multiple detectives in search of the missing journalist. They eventually found CCTV footage of a masked man, obese and short much like Ed was, stalking the poor journalist lady. The stalker abducted her and shoved her in his van, which drove so far out of the city, CCTV footage couldn't track it to its final destination. However, they did have a licence plate to track down. It belonged to Ed Bellic himself, considering how much the abductor matched the physical appearance of the hotdog vendor, it didn't take a genius to realise they were the same person.

Police stormed Ed's residence, he had bought himself a pretty big house by the dock, as he obviously made a lot of money selling his delicious sour hotdogs. Ed was screaming when police raided his home, he cried that he had nothing to do with the journalist's kidnapping, however his lie was very short lived as a particularly foul smell reeked from his kitchen.

"Don't go in there!" Ed begged, but the police officer sneered and entered anyway, he immediately regretted it. The body of the journalist lay on the kitchen counter in bloody pieces, chopped up pulled pork. Her decapitated head sat inside the open oven, a screaming expression still present upon her dead face. The officer puked in a nearby bin, then stormed back into the living room to arrest Ed Bellic. It turned out, the reason his dogs tasted so unusual and unique, was because they were made out of human flesh. There were hundreds of human skeletons buried in his back yard, all of which were divided up from each other, as if separated by the gory butcher's knife the police found soaked in human blood, which was left unwashed in his kitchen sink.

Ed Bellic was charged with intentional manslaughter and several acts of cannibalism, he was put to death by lethal injection in the year 2001.