Eating My Experiences (7)

TOME 8

The realization hit me harder than I could have imagined, Zach might be alive, something I had hoped for, but never expected. Gabe's head was right, I abandoned him like when I abandoned my brother. I left him for dead, and I needed to fix it. "Alex, um...should we...uh, can we try to save him?" Alex knew me too well, this line of thinking didn't faze him in the slightest.

"Well we can try, but as I'm sure you realize, we don't have much in the way of muscle..." he was right, it was just me and him now, neither of which are particularly intimidating based on appearance. "but we can try if you want, I know how much you love Zach. " he gifted me a meek smile, in the hopes of reassuring me.

"Okay," I stated, standing to allow myself to pace. "Can we leave tomorrow? Is that too soon?" I would certainly have trouble sleeping until we left for town.

"Yeah, sure, let's see how we feel in the morning, it'll take two or three days to get there, so we need to be prepared."

"You're right" I murmured slouching onto the cold hard-packed earth near the fire, resuming the joint I had left behind before releasing a large sigh. "Alex, can I have a hug?" My voice came out as a whimper as tears threatened to breach my eyelids. He said nothing, opting instead for simply reaching out to surround my head with his warm arms as the dam broke leaving me blubbering about how awful a friend I was.

"It's okay, you'll be okay, we will go to town, who knows maybe we will find a car on the way!" He stated, now holding me at arms length to look into my eyes, regardless I cannot see through the saline washing down my face freely. "Mayyybeee we will even get there before he does" I knew this hope would prove too good to be true, but allowed myself to believe it. I did not have time to have a breakdown. I provided a weak nod and told Alex I was feeling dizzy and wanted to lay down.

We set our beds consisting of hay, sheets we found here, our blankets and clothes as a pillow. I lay down while Alex stayed up to prepare for the coming trip, leaving a bottle of water near my head. I held tight to Gabe's head, filed with a putrid smell, yet the last reminder of the man I loved so much. The man I was not ready to say goodbye to despite how much his attitude changed in death. "Goodnight, cupcake" I whispered into his blood clotted hair before zipping the bag up again.

"Goodnight, my love, have sweet dreams, silly" I smiled remembering all the times he would say that to me before kissing my forehead and tucking me in. Remembered his bright brown eyes, and soft full lips, wishing I could just kiss him one more time, feel his heat, hear his giggles. I fell asleep with a quivering smile plastered on my face while my pillow slowly absorbed my salty tears.

Tomorrow was the start of a very hard escapade which I both looked forward to and resented. That night I found myself enthralled in nightmare after nightmare, found myself in another hell-scape along the lines of those that used to plague me as a young child. I awoke at thee in the morning, seemingly unable to resume sleeping, memories of Gabe filling my sleepless mind.

I decided to ransack the house, holding the mag light I have carried since the third house we occupied. I was happy to find three pillows, a little food, a library, and first aid kits. I was frustrated however, to find two corpses in a closet, one was a child, one was seemingly an adult woman, both were shot in the head with the gun that the woman was brandishing. I took a deep breathe before removing the gun from her hardened, flaking fingers.

I decided to wait in bed for the sun to rise as I began reading a book from the library, hoping to find myself tired, which luckily came, only to be woken my Alex, who told me he had made me tea, but we needed to get moving early, we had to make use of daylight after all. I was groggy and my body hurt, it almost felt as though I had a flu.

TO BE CONTINUED...