Eating my experiences (28)

TOME 39

I could have sworn I heard my cats caterwaul as I spun wildly through our room before Mel woke up, rubbing her eyes. I blurted out "can you get have someone get my cat?" She let a small giggle come through before standing gracefully, when she stood straight she was six feet tall and slender as could be, but always wore loose robes and dresses.

"I guess the cat's out of the bag so-to-say. She's here, I had a group fetch her, they got back while you were sleeping." My mouth gaped open before my heart fluttered into action. I allowed myself to jump up and down with laughter and excitement.

"Where is she, can I pet her?" I was practically running in circles when she opened the bathroom door, allowing my rotund cat to bound through the door. Breb rubbed along my legs are coos and purrs, her tail dancing along my shins. I bent down to poke her nose and she used the opportunity to create pets using my hand. I scooped her up, laughing and kissing her small speckled nose and a coo released from her tiny face.

"Thank you" was all I could muster through tears of relief and joy.

"Well that certainly made it all worth it." Mel said, now petting the bunny soft fur of Breb's belly while I held her. "She really is a good cat, just like her human." Mel's face was peaceful.

TOME 40

Mel and I spent most of our time together, she was so delightfully familiar, like a million people I missed. She filled my mouth with candies as she sat surrounded in sun. I found myself loving her despite the new nightmares of her limbs flying off. I wince as I think of my screaming terror last night. I dreamed of her chasing me, except there was a pack of her in place of the pack of wolves who used to chase me in my sleep as a child.

She coaxed me to stop, smelling of rot like that room filled with suicidal zombies, ineffective in anything but bringing the merciful blur of tears to my eyes. I ran until I crashed hard into a gate which had appeared in my path. I crashed to the ground feeling my tail bone splinter. Wincing and begging for help, I notice a gate on the other side of me, encasing me in gates. I was free of Mel who began falling apart, melting and dropping globs of coagulated blood, giggle all the while.

I woke sweating and screaming, not aided by Mel until I fell from the the bed, crying until I pissed my pants.

Mel helped me to the bath, throwing bath bombs in, sitting on the closed toilet next to me. "Are you okay? I've never seen you that scared." The look of worry on her face filled me with guilt.

"Yeah, I... Had trust issues nightmares, It's nothing huge." As I spoke I lowered myself further and further into the tub till only my eyes and nose poked free. I began blowing small bubbles in the bath, it used to make me so happy, but now it fills me with longing for a simpler time.

"You miss him don't you" her face has shifted to pity, a look I hated to see on her long wisp of a body. I looked away sharply only to have her kneel beside the tub to grab my face gently in hers. "It's okay, you can miss him, it only seems natural." She searched my face for something unknown to me "you loved him a lot" she pointed at her head as if signifying that part of Zach was speaking. Her eyes danced with emotion, how strange you can now be dead and so emotive. So lovable.

I allowed myself to cry, wet and naked in Mel's arms, me still in the tub, her leaning to meet me. My tears broke with a vacant laugh "You're getting so wet, I'm so sorry." The last half plunging me headfirst into sobs.

TOME 41

Alex was at the door shortly after I left the bath, dripping in my satin robe, streaks of water running down my back. I smile warmly, despite the distance growing between us, I loved him. He had been there for me in times that were darker than I had realized until they were over, I felt I owed him better than I was doing now.

"Hey, Alex, what's up, do you wanna have a drink with me?" I had made another 180 emotionally, leaving me bubbly and social.

"I- well, yeah, but also are you okay?" His deep, soothing voice was a welcomed tone.

"Oh. Yeah!" I laughed off the night so naturally. "I just had a really bad nightmare. I could see him relax, shoulders falling.

"Good" he was stepping into the room, waving at Mel who beamed back. Alex sat at the kitchen table across from me as I pulled two cups and a bottle of sake from the nook next to me. Alex looked uneasy, he always did in here, and frankly I don't blame him.

"How have you been, do you have all you need?" I'm beginning to hope he does need something so I can at least be useful in one way for him.

"Well, honestly," he started eyeing Mel before letting loose a sigh. "Fuck it- I really need blankets." I leap into action, skittering gleefully across the room to Mel, who is rolling a joint.

"Mel," I was holding one of her shoulders with both my hands "can we get Alex some blankets." Mel kissed my cheek then smiled, hovering at my cheek so she could smell me.

"Why of course! I'll have an assortment brought to you. We really have a lot." Sure enough Alex was brought blankets to choose from, and the rest of the night is a blur as Alex and I drank our share.

TOME 42

The next day, I slept through most of the day, dreamless, and peaceful. Mel took me out that day, she brought me out to my favorite beach, a full squad of guards on hand. I never went in the water at the beach, but instead read in the sand, Mel liked to watch me, all of the people in her mind studying my face. Moments like this remind me of my old life, going to the beach with Gabe and his sister.

I sighed, my thumb holding my place, "can we go, this is making me sad now." We did leave without question, Mel was always so easy to be with, her own person, but wise in her treatment of situations. This is something I envy in her.

TOME 43

Mel and I were brushing each others hair, taking turns as we talked when we heard a loud bang as every window shook in it's frame. I looked at Mel, panicked and hoping for guidance. Mel looked absolutely determined to get me to safety as she stood, calling orders into the hall. Time felt like a soup as I waded through it in slow motion. Mel was shortly surrounded by guards, she still clung to me.

"Did they get in?" Were the first orders I heard her bark

"No, but they damaged the door. They appeared to get past the first door but not into the barricade

"Good, meet them on the street and end them. If anyone gets to her" she was seething, pointing at me "you will not open your eyes again, do I make myself clear?" Everyone blundered about for a flash before funneling out of the building to meet the seemingly intoxicated rivals. It was immediately clear why we weren't often contested, the runner-up didn't have a chance. They were ripped limb from limb, flesh torn and marred, left on the sidewalk as warning. There was a bloodstain from the ground bone and sinew, stomped by metal tipped boots, a permanent reminder that we were to be feared.

That night managed to make me feel both safer and more vulnerable. I began to fear the day I would lose Mel that day, and it only grew from there, fertilized by my own insecurity.