Dream State Part 3

Part 3: Hello Stable Insanity.

I feel insecure, I can not trust myself and the day seems so unreal yet it is very much real. I can not focus these dreams I keep having most be nightmares caused by being over worked and the shadow I saw must have been my mind playing tricks on me from not having woken up fully.

Before long its lunch time it feels like I have barely sat down at my desk this morning and yet by the looks of my work in front of me I have completed half the weeks work in less than a few short hours, something is terribly wrong.

I get up from my desk walking to the near by doctors it has become clear that I need medical help, no amount of comfort from Kato will save me from my own insanity as I must be insane as there is no other answer for everything that has been going on the past few days and nights.

The doctor listens to everything that's happen to me and to my relief he too agrees with my own judgements, claiming me to be unstable possibly due to the stress at work which has trigger me to become unhinged, the doctor then assigns a driver, one of his nurses from the surgery to take me to the local institute, am I really that mad? Have I become so unstable I have to be locked away, I merely thought a few days or weeks at home would allow me to relax and recharge yet this doctor seems almost terrified by my dreams, as if there is more that he is not telling me.

The drive to the local mental institute was a silent one, the nurse who was driving me did not even look at me she merely focused on driving. I feel so utterly lost that I can't help but allow my thoughts to keep slipping to memories of my recent dreams, I am still unsure if they are truly dreams.

How can a telepathic connection be so powerful? And how can a mark be left so clearly visible on my neck that was obtained during a dream? That demonic man that haunts my dreams, that has created this nightmare of which I now life can not truly be real in the sense of what he claims, there is no such thing as vampires they are just creative horror creatures from folklore to Hollywood screens.

When the car finally arrived at the mental institute I felt overwhelmed but its almost dark and very Gothic appearance, a tall clock tower stands at the middle point of the three story building yet the clock tower itself seems to be six stories high.

The whole building seemed to ooze with an eerie darkness and impending doom that would drain any happiness and life remaining within my soul, I could not help but feel a lack of hope a feeling that was increasing with the thought I was willingly signing away my right of sanity, to become labelled insane.

I willingly left the safety of the car as my eyes were busy watching a group of nurses all cackling like witches outside the main entrance door, their dresses clearly starched to stay white as each nurse had their hair tightly woven up out of their face, pinned under a white hat. Their uniforms seemed dated and rather out of place for the time as if their uniforms were that of the 1920's red cross war ward nurses.

One nurse from this gaggle looked at me quickly breaking away from the giggling group as the others continued to snigger and snap about their inmates, I cant help but question at this point who is more insane, the patients or the staff?

"Hello dear, are you visiting or registering for mental help?" Said the nurse as her voice sounded somewhat kind with a soft delicate tone, but it was clear she was more bored that caring and I could only smile back to her as my confusion has left me with more questioning to my own sanity or insanity. "I am here for help” I reply almost stuttering. “I guess to register for help." I continue seeming somewhat timid, what ever now happens was an uncertain truth and my once self believe and strength had now faded away to nothing.

The nurse lead me though the large wooden doors of the institute to the front desk, barking orders at near by nurses who all seemed to quickly scurry about like rats trying to complete the tasks that had been barked at them. The nurse behind the front desk seemed to grab a clip board checking a list, before saying in a loud booming voice. "She can go in cell 8 on floor 3, Doctor Richmond will see her tomorrow." As the nurse that I had already been following did not stop, she continued to led me up the staircase as I willingly followed gloomily, numb to what was around me. I didn't seem to be aware of the other patients in robes of white, some standing with empty glassy eyes while others rocking unaware of what was around them but I didn't see that all I saw was the back of the nurse I was following as if this was my own enslavement.

The nurse finally stopped walking she stood to one side of a cell door having opened it to reveal an empty room, inside which was a bed, a small sink and mirror heavily attached to the wall. There was also a window that looked out to the grounds of this gloomy hospital as well as the window providing light to the room however it had heavy iron bars stopped anyone from trying to escape.

For a second I hesitated to step in to the room however I did walk inside and without warning I turned to observe the door behind me swinging shut, with a heavy thud with what sounded like a key locking the door securely in place, am I really that insane in the Doctor's opinion?

I sat in the corner of my new room, a cell that will no doubt add to my ever increasing madness as I watch the walls creep slowly inward toward me while I lose myself in my thoughts of the past few nights, and trying hard to picture the past, focusing on things that are far longer than the past few nights as if searching my memories for any glimmer of hope that I am not insane. Trying hard to remember the hand-fasting and blood binding ceremony's that happened some four plus years ago with that same man who now so willingly wants to haunt my mind and my dreams, but they do not feel like dreams any more nor do they feel like nightmares, am I truly cursed?

I do not notice the hours that seem to drift on slowly, it wasn't hard to notice that at every hour the window of the door to my cell would open with a nurse looking inside as if checking I was still there and as quickly as the window had opened it would shut again just as fast.

The sun outside had now completely set and the room although had lights built in to the high ceiling, they only gave a small amount of light to the dark room. As I crawled my way across the floor and into the stony bed, my stomach empty and growling from hunger as I lay down on my side watching the room fade in and out of focus. I do not know what time it is but it must be late, my body feels so drained of mortal senses as my eyes becoming heavier and heavier with each passing second and like every night of drifting madness I find myself knowing it won't be long before I am asleep and as if by some unseen force I feel myself drifted back into the astral realm, my body drifting heavily into a world I am unsure is at all safe for my mental health.