Dream Loop

I woke up sweating on the couch in my dimly lit living room, the only illumination coming from the table lamp behind my head and the little circular lights above the fireplace a few feet away. I looked towards the window to see a dark figure staring at me from outside right by the back door. “What the fuck?” I was filled with a dread I’ve never experienced as this thing stared at me, unmoving. At this moment my childhood home felt like a weak and rotting fortress capable of crumbling at any minuscule blow. Livy was still silently sleeping on the couch next to me completely unaware of my terror. What is this thing? I kept my eyes locked on him, too fearful to look away. Unable to move and my chest heavy with an unfortunate sense of doom, I reluctantly fell back asleep.

I woke up again, still sweltering and in the same position, but this time with my cat wet and weakly yowling on my chest. The sound coming from him was something I’ve never heard come from my happy-go-lucky boy. The air was still and thick with a lingering stench I couldn’t place. Was this horrifying miasma coming from my beautiful guy or was it coming from the thing stalking me from my backyard? I didn’t smell it before. Is it in the house? Still unable to move, I tried to help my sweet cat with his ailment before I found myself caught in another dream loop.

I hear scratching and moving on or in the walls. I can’t get up to find the source of the noise, but even if I could, I don’t want to know if what I’m hearing is real or not. The smell is stronger. It’s a stench of decay and old sulfur. I see him crawling on the walls from the corner of my eye. He slowly inches closer and closer to me making these awful guttural noises. He moves in an unnatural robotic way. His limbs are twisting and turning in a way I’ve only seen in the movies. I want to run, I want to run so bad, but I can’t I’m stuck here in this coil of nightmares. I can feel him about to touch me when things go dark again. I hope this is it, but hope has no place in this never-ending nightmare.

I woke up staring darkness in the face. This looming figure was standing over me curling his cracking lips back to bare his sharp festering teeth. He is the tallest thing I’ve ever seen with dead eyes that don’t break my gaze. He’s long and slender with pale, but putrefied skin. He’s dripping bodily fluids and I realize now that this biofluid is what was covering my cat. This part of my vicious cycle felt as though it would last for eternity. I could feel my heart racing faster and faster as he neared my face. The closer he got to me, the more my trepidation grew. He kept me paralyzed, locked in the same position on the couch as when our journey together first started. Trying to force myself awake with a scream he moved in closer, grabbing my face with his long Tsutomu Miyazaki like hands to steal my breath. They are cold and clammy. He digs his sharp, dirty fingernails into my cheeks bringing his face closer to mine as everything goes dark.

At last, my freedom from this nightmare ended just as I felt him taking every part of me. I shot up from my personal prison on the couch, unsure if I was indeed awake or not. As I tried to slow my breathing, I shook Livy awake. It was 4:37 a.m. “Is this real?” I asked when she gained what little consciousness she had for my shit at that moment. “Is what real, moron?” “Nothing. Never mind.” She brushed me off, turned away from me and fell back into her deep slumber. She looks so peaceful while I am shaky and terrified. I sat on the couch until the sun finally rose to bring light into my backyard. I mustered up what little courage I could find to explore the yard in this beautiful morning glow. Nothing. There is nothing. No footprints, no lingering smell, no handprints. There was no trace of this tormenting creature. As I turn to go back inside, my lovely fat kitty rubbed my legs with the most saccharine meows he could give. I think he knew I needed it.

Even though I found no physical trace of my personal bogeyman, I could still feel him. This was the first night of many that he would visit in my dreams. He has never gotten as close to me as he did that first night, but the horror he instilled in me is stronger than ever.