Ding Dong

It all started with a text from "UNKNOWN" that read, "Ding Dong". WTH, I thought. Then the sound of my doorbell made me jump. I pulled up the video feed of my surveillance cams, and I got a fleeting glimpse of a drone backing away from my doorstep.

Okay, first of all, who is punking me right now and how is it possible for a drone to ring my doorbell? The video feed showed me there was a box on my doorstep, so I went to see what had been dropped off. With every step, the questions in my mind multiplied. I didn't remember ordering anything, which led me to the punking theory. But then, as I opened the door, a chill ran up my spine. What if it was something more sinister?

I looked down at the nondescript package. Plain brown wrapper, a medium sized rectangle of whatever it was inside. I listened carefully, a sudden urge to determine if there was a ticking timebomb seizing my mind. A few tense moments of paranoia having washed over me, I knelt down to give the mysterious package a closer look. Brown kraft paper, could have been from anywhere, regular clear packing tape, the wide kind with the serrated cuts on the ends, no clues there. I sniffed. I don't smell anything, then got paranoid again, because anthrax! A queasy feeling rumbled in my gut as I rose slowly away from the potential unknown danger facing me.

I jumped as my phone alerted me of another text. Heart pounding harder than it really should have, I looked down at it. It read, "Not afraid, are you?". My paranoia quadrupled. I looked quickly up and down the street, watching for strange vans or clown-like figures or ghosts or whatever creepiness I had remembered seeing in the movies. Nothing. Everything in my street seemed very normal. The right cars were parked in the right driveways. The right neighbor dogs were barking at the right other neighbors cats passing casually by them, giving them the usual cat looks of derision. And no drone in sight. Sweat had started to bead on my forehead and my breath had come quick and shallow to calm my racing heart as I inspected every single window in sight, expecting to see a pair of binoculars peering back at me, watching my discomfort turn to panic. Nothing. No insane clowns, no Peeping Toms, no nosy neighbors. I had no answers. Except...

I dared not look up, and give away my suspicions, but instead began to type in my phone as I re-entered the house. "What's your game, anyways?" I nervously typed, going back to correct half of what I typed because I was shaking so much. Damn, it says it didn't send, try again? I did so, as I headed for my home office. No good, it didn't send. I have bars, so it should have gone through. By then I was near my broadband modem. I pull the plug, disconnecting not only the security cams from the wifi, but everything from the internet. Let that sumbitch spy on me now. That had to be it. Whoever it was, they had to be hacking into my video feed, and watching my every move. I looked around in satisfaction that I had defeated some world-class blackhat by simply pulling the plug.

Phone dinged again. "Nice try, human. You must take delivery. Otherwise, something bad will happen." I yelled at the phone, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU TARGETING ME?" The phone dinged. "No reason. I just like doing things like that." I dropped the phone. It heard me! It's hacked my phone! "NO I WILL NOT!", I defiantly replied. Scooping up my phone, I went into the bathroom, tossed aside the lid to the tank of the toilet, quickly removed the protector case and dropped the phone into the tank. I watched as the screen zapped out, but in the last second before it died, I saw a message flash on the screen, "Wrong Answer".

I backed away from the toilet, thoroughly shaken by what I saw. Calm down, I told myself. After a moment or so, I managed to think to replace the tank lid, so I wouldn't have to see that infernal phone. Think, I thought. Think. Who do you know who could pull off such a stunt? And why? What dark, twisted mind would torture someone like this? As I walked slowly through to the living room, I racked my brain trying to figure who had it in for me and what I might have done to drive someone to such lengths for revenge. And that message that threw every other motivation out the window: No reason. I just like doing things like that. That was from a movie. I know that line.

I heard a sound. Standing in the middle of the living room, I saw the TV had turned on. I heard the audio as the picture blinked into place. It was a young tough in a brown leather vest looking askew at someone, and he says, "Why?" The other young tough, with long hair and a headband on, a smirk on his face, replies,"No reason. I just like doing things like that."

I screamed, "ARE YOU SHITTING ME? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" The movie went off, replaced a blank screen then the words as big as the TV could display... "TAKE DELIVERY OR SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN". I fell to the floor, my body shaking, my brain turning to mush. I couldn't think, I couldn't reason. Somehow, I managed to crawl over to the TV and pulled that plug as well. It snapped off and the menacing message disappeared.

I sat on the floor for a long period of time, I don't know exactly how long, but the Sun was starting to dip lower in the sky when I eventually got the courage to move from my position. I slowly rose, and began to walk over to the front door, finally resolving to do as I was told by the unknown texter. I had gone through every possible scenario of past sins and previous enemies I might have accrued over the years and came up wanting. There was just not enough there there to justify such a intense response. But it was working, whatever it was. I was obeying my invisible master, broken so easily by some amateur evil genius. As I opened my front door, I looked down again at the anonymous package that had undone me, once again feeling a dread at the possibilities it contained. A Schrodinger's Cat that promised I will be dead and alive in the next moment or two.

I gingerly picked it up from the concrete of my front porch, slowly, carefully turning to go back into the house. Setting it down on the coffee table, I sank into the couch, feeling the seconds turning into hours as I reached out to open the box. I could almost not even feel my hands as they seemingly worked the paper on their own accord, tearing it away from the now-revealed plain white cardboard box. There had been no markings, no addressee, no addressor, no indication where it originated nor from whom.

The kraft paper now cleared, I lifted the lid slowly, dipping my head to simultaneously check for trip wires and be ready to turn away in case of any kind of explosion. Nothing happened. No acid to the face, no bomb going off, no white powder released. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least my nemesis had been true to their word. So far. I timidly looked into the box, and found there was only an envelope. A #10 envelope, not glued shut and again no markings of any kind. I carefully removed it, and inspected the interior for any strange substances, who knows what this freak had placed in there. No poisonous snakes, no deadly spiders, no earwigs to burrow into my brain were to be found. Only a folded sheet of paper. So, here comes the sender's demands. A ransom? Blackmail? Some previous unthought of threat?

I unfolded the paper. to read finally what it was this evil mastermind was all about. I fainted at the message: WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOUR ABOUT YOUR CAR'S WARRANTY.