Death Dreams

Have you ever had a dream that’s not just a dream. Something more, disguised as a dream. Something you could never forget. I have had plently. You see, as contrast to the inability to control my life, my dreams are mine to influence. I am always aware I’m dreaming, it’s strange. I can’t say I have ever had a nightmare. But there are those rare few that defy my will completely. I can neither wake or change the outcome. Forced to walk in the shoes of another; separate, but as one. This recollection is to be taken however you choose, if that be a reality of a insane man or entirely a fantasy...

I’m drifting again, through the infinite possibility of my mind. Not choosing a place, but staying adrift. Then a feeling, no, more then a feeling, matrix of feelings and thoughts. Perplexed, I feel a stretching sensation like being pulled thin and another of suppression at the same time. Then a flash of a scene, a feeling of dread. Jumping skippy images and sensations forming together. A deep dark wooded area, a cold breeze, goosebumps, and then a blipping in like that of a old tv screen being turning on. Sharp and intense a foreign thought, a need to keep going. But lathered with dread, a fear of death soon to come.

A sudden cry breaks the night, cutting through the insects chirping and screeching. She of what feels like a mind older then me but, not by much. Start running as the baying-howling multiples into a song from hell. The connection rapidly intensify, differences forgotten. Goosebumps patching on my arms, that feeling you get before lightning is about to strike. I run, branches punishing me for my poor night vision. I can hear the patterned thumping from behind, in many different directions. If only I was closer, but to what wasn’t made known. Panic raising to a shrill I feel an acknowledgment, toward me?!? A slight surprise, with then a panicked thought, a command. Imbued with an need, a must, she commands “You need to wake up, NOW!!!” I had tried at first but unable to, locked-in, and enthralled. But this thought cut through my mind like a razor through water.

I felt a rapid distancing between us, then I woke. But, it didn’t stop there. I knew she had fallen, tripped, distracted from that simple thought. Eyes open, I still hear the insects, the snarling and bickering like yelping, and the constant tugging of my body, all over. A taring sensation, like that of when your are numbed and having a surgery. You can still feel the pressure and the taring, but not the pain. I still felt someone there, tho very distant herself. It was like a calming stiffness had taken her mind. She no longer felt or hurt, just experienced this with indifference, no longer struggling.

First was the if only, then the repeating it was only a dream. But I couldn’t shake it, if you had felt what I had, you would know. Maybe there’s more to life than what’s at the surface. Maybe, it’s just a fluke. Only the future knows.