Closer

My hands shook, chest heaved as I pulled that little black book from his inner pocket. He was still moving, a heap on the floor. I slapped his flailing hand away and stood up as straight as I could. My hand shot out to catch me as my side twitched, slid against the elevator wall with a smear, but I got upright. I wouldn't be able to hide my split knuckles but I didn't think about that now, couldn't get distracted. Not now. It was finally within my grasp. Literally in my hands. He burbled something through his broken teeth. I didn't care.

I'd been watching him get the best of anything that would have held anyone else down for years, the lucky bastard. I 'accidentally' set fire to his garage this one time I was drunk and you know what? He managed to end up with a loft downtown that was bigger than my whole house! This asshole closed the best deals, had the best parking spot, and of course he had his pick of the women. Prick. Always flauntin' it too! Just waving it in my face like he knew something I didn't!

I figured there had to be something that makes his world go round, makes that magic happen. I knew if I could just snatch it out of his mouth I had to. I decided to make my move before he could take one more greedy bite outta what should have always been mine. A smile slapped itself across my sweat-stung face. Just holding this little thing made the light overhead buzz a little less, burn a little brighter. I winced through the laugh that followed. He was a small guy, never hit the gym, but he hit like a frickin' truck!

It took weeks of careful surveillance, the way he talked to all these losers that ate up his bullshit. I was too careful to write anything down but all the same I took notes on everything this asshole did and said. How he parted his hair, what cologne he wore, the suits he had on. I even ran through his garbage bins a few times for something, anything. A note. A clue. A little. Black. Book.

I finally saw him reach for just before he closed on a deal that he got a sweet twenty-grand commission for. I never put it together before but I remembered after that. I had to be sure. And sure as water's wet it turned out that he always pulled something out of his inside pocket right before that amazing luck struck. Sometimes he wouldn't even open it! He'd just look at it and then bam! He'd know just how to play the cards he was dealt. My turn.

I leaned into the corner of the tight space to take the edge off my ribs and carefully peeled back the cover. Bunch of blank pages? Maybe there's something further in. Gotta keep thumbing through. Come on, come on! I know there's something in here! Back cover. No... No! It's a dummy! It has to be!!

I shoot a look over to where he's slumped over, disgusted. How did he know?? I throw myself at the floor in front of him and run his pockets. It's gotta be here! I haven't seen a day go by where he hasn't had the thing with him. I know it's here! Why's it hurt so much to breathe damn it?! A hidden pocket maybe? Get your damn hands outta my face! Wait... Whose hands are these? Someone's behind me, holding my face. The doors never opened, I pulled the emergency stop. So why?? Who??

The voice freezes the blood in my veins. My heart skips eight beats at once. It tells me the answer is in my hands. I realize the book is still in my hands. I can barely bring myself to look at it but I manage. My hands are still shaking, harder now. I hold my breath. I blink slowly. I look again. There are words this time! No, not words. Something like words. The voice asks me if I've come this far to only come this far. It knows my answer.

The hands move down to rest on my shoulders as I slowly go numb. I can't see them but I know they're there. Firm. I straighten as I stand upright. My mind is blank and overflowing all at once. It won't be long now, it promised me. The blood, the scrapes on my knuckles, the pain in my ribs; all gone. I shake my head as if I've just woke up from a bad dream. It's all clear now. I'm clear. And I'm one step closer.

I slide the little black book into my blazer pocket and release the emergency stop. I step out to the office floor I'd left only minutes ago, born anew. I feel nothing. The voice is a whisper now, spilling secrets I never knew I didn't know. As the elevator doors slide shut I hear the unmistakeable sound of the cable snap, and a shudder from the impact far below rushes through the building. I guess I'll take the stairs to the garage tonight.