CASHLIFE, a Dark Web Game Show

The splash screen displayed the game show's logo, bright yellow over a gradient blend of hot pinks, neon purples, and deep blues. Through the computer speakers aired a song as colorful as its visual accompaniment, synthetic and cheery and energetic, with a sort of 80's action movie vibe, the beat rowed forward quickly by a choppy guitar riff on one oar and a vibrant, powerful drumbeat on the other.

The feed always went live with this placeholder, usually only for a minute or two before the stream started. Today, it ended more quickly than usual. The screen faded to black before blooming into a shot of a young woman sitting in a small isolation booth, smiling patiently, completely oblivious. Dark, moody suspense music ticked away as white lights slowly faded in.

"Ashley Carmichael is a 20 year old college student at Binghamton University," the presumably female announcer began, her voice obscured by software. "Tonight, she'll be playing to avoid big bucks on the world's only game show where you don't want to win it all. Welcome … to CASHLIFE!" The show's theme music began as the room flooded with colorful lights, matching those found on the show's splash screen. "And now, heeeere's you host! Give it up ... for Bloombug!"

An obviously fake applause track could be heard as the show's theme song bridged into a transition, all fading away as the host, "Bloombug", dashed out onto the set. Every physical feature was completely hidden from view. As was tradition, Bloombug wore a hoodie from the contestant’s school, the hood raised over a black void where the face should be; some sort of mask that was never illuminated enough to see. The rest of the outfit consisted of black gloves, black pants, and black bargain bin running shoes you also couldn’t really see very well. And Bloombug never actually spoke. Instead, it was a vague male voice, likely computer generated, but capable of mimicking a sort of phony, caricatured game show host temperament. Bloombug simply moved about as if they were talking. No one knew if they actually did speak or not.

The girl in the booth had her back to Bloombug, though she did look around in surprise when the room lit up. She was grinning widely, hapless and unaware. If only she knew what this was or where she was, or what was about to happen.

“Hello and welcome to CASHLIFE, the dark web’s favorite new weekly game show! I’m your host, Bloombug, and we’ve got a great show for you this week! For those of you watching for the first time, here’s how the show works. Each week, we find a random college student from somewhere in the United States. This week, it’s Ashley Carmichael. She can’t hear us right now. I can say whatever I want about her. Hey Ashley, stop smiling, this isn’t going to go down the way you hope it will!” A phony audience laugh track played. “We found Ashley a few weeks ago using a targeted advertisement on social media. She sent us an audition video. Let’s take a look!”

The video was filmed by Ashley from a smartphone or tablet, sitting in her dorm room. She was a beautiful young woman, petite and mousy. “Hi, my name is Ashley Carmichael, and I’m from Riverhead New York. I’m studying anthropology, which is like, WAY harder than I thought it would be. If I win big on your show, me and my girls are going on a trip to Italy and partying!” The video was edited, showing photos presumably pulled from her social media and stolen from her phone. She was nude in two of them. She spoke over this reel, never knowing they’d be added later. “I’ve always dreamed of going on a yacht in Italy. And that’s why I want to be an anthropologist. I want to learn about all the different people in the world, you know? And like, yeah, like I want to make a difference. Because we’re all the same on the inside. And that’s what matters, that you’re a good person. And that’s why I deserve to be on your show.”

The stream cut back to Bloombug, who was posing with their hand up to their chin as if they were deep in thought. “Wow, this girl is one dumb ass basic bitch! She’s basic as fuck! I’ll bet she likes pumpkin spice and has one of those little purse dogs, am I right?” There went the laugh track again. “Okay, so let’s get started. Here’s how we play CASHLIFE. Our team of dark web hackers did a deep dive of Ashley’s life. We know everything there is to know about her. Every intimate detail. Of course, she doesn’t know that yet. But it’s high time she found out. Let’s meet Ashley!” The isolation booth spun around. As the lights came up, Ashley jumped back in her seat, startled at the sight of the ever-creepy looking Bloombug. “Oh my God … who are …”

“Hey there Ashley! Welcome to CASHLIFE!”

“Um … hi? Thanks … for having me?”

“Okay Ashley, here’s how the show works. I’m going to ask you questions. They can get pretty personal, so please don’t be offended, okay? Oh, who am I kidding … you’ll definitely get offended!” This time, Ashley could hear the fake laughter. She was just now realizing something was off about this show, and the terror was starting to creep in. “For each correct answer you give me, you won’t win any money. And that’s a good thing, because the money you do win will fill up that little cube you’re in. Win too much cash, and you’ll suffocate and die! And nobody wants that to happen, Am I right? Eh-doy!” Bloombug paused for more phony laughing and applause from the non-existent audience. “Refuse to answer a question, and you’ll get money … lots of money. And if you lie, you’ll win double the money. And this is the only game show in the world where you definitely don’t want to win double money! Understand?”

She tried opening the door, but failed. “What is this? Who are you? I’d like to leave now. Can I leave now?” Her attempts to open the door grew exponentially more frantic. “Please? Can you let me out? I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to play. Please let me out!”

“Oh, silly goose, that’s not going to happen! Not unless you win, anyway. We haven’t had a winner yet, but you could be our first! Just ten questions are standing between you and freedom, Ashley. But be careful, three bad answers and you’ll be drowning in cash! Let’s get started!” Bloombug extracted a tiny black book from his pocket, reading from it as he continued. “Question number one. Mommy and Daddy got divorced last summer.” The fake audience let out a saddened “aww” this time. “Why did they get divorced? You have thirty seconds to answer.”

“What? My … my parents? What do they … this is wrong. That’s none of your business. Let me out! Please let me out! I want to leave! I want to go home!”

“Fifteen seconds, Ashley.”

She tried pushing and kicking the door. She was terrified now, crying and struggling to catch her breath. “Oh my God, please, please, let me go, let me go, please …”

“Oh shucks Ashley, time is up! The correct answer was, ‘your mom is a dumb unfaithful whore!’ She cheated on your impotent father because daddy’s ‘D’ is a dubious dud! So she fucked her boss … and didn’t even get a promotion! Yikes!” Bloombug waited for Ashley to say something, but she was completely focused on escape. “That’s one wrong answer, Ashley. Two more and it’ll get really super hard to breath in there! And be honest from here on out, because tell one lie and you’ll go bye-bye! RELEASE THE CASH!”

A flurry of American currency poured into the cube. Ashley was confused at first, holding up a handful of money, bewildered. None of this was sinking in for her. She tried slamming herself against the booth’s wall, until the cash had piled up to her knees. She tried pushing, until it was up to her waist. That’s when she stopped trying. She tried to slosh around, but it was hard to move. Her loud cries had been relegated into quiet, terrified whimpers. “I want to go home … I want …”

Bloombug looked at his little black book again, ignoring her pleas. “It’s time for question number two! There’s a lot riding on how you answer this one, Ashley! For Valentine’s Day, you made a really saucy video for your boyfriend. Let’s watch!” the feed transitioned into Ashley’s private video. She was completely nude, dancing to a pop song. When they came back to the studio, Ashley looked shellshocked. “You sent this video to your boyfriend on Valentine’s Day … and then you sent it to someone else the very next morning, on purpose! For a lot of money or no money at all, tell us the name of the lucky guy who got this video of yours. You have thirty seconds.”

“The video? That … that was for my boyfriend!”

“We know. But he wasn’t the only person you sent it to.”

“What? How could you … I mean ... “

“The clock is ticking Ashley!”

The crying started again. “I didn’t send it to anyone else! Please let me go!”

“Is that the answer you want to stick with Ashley? Remember, a lie is worth double the cash!”

“Please …” her crying made her words nearly unrecognizable as speech. “I don’t want to die … I don’t want to die …”

“Who did you send the video to, Ashley?”

She didn’t respond. She couldn’t respond.

“Oh, I’m sorry Ashley, time is up! The correct answer was Justin Cook, your boyfriend’s best friend, who you’ve been plowing on the side for months!” The audience let out another “Aww” as Ashley tried thrashing again. She was screaming, her voice coarse and depleted. “Well the good news Ashley, you just won a life-changing amount of dough on CASHLIFE. Congratulations! The bad news? Well … capitalism fucking sucks for you, doesn’t it? But hey, thanks for playing though Ashley. Okay, say it with me, audience! RELEASE! THAT! CASH!”

Another huge dump of cash quickly fell from the booth’s ceiling. In a matter of seconds, Ashley could no longer be seen, apart from her hands sometimes frantically slapping up against the glass. When it seemed like the booth couldn’t accept one more dollar, they somehow managed to pack in even more. Ashley’s fingers eventually stopped brushing the glass wall of the booth. Her muffled screams faded into the whirring of fans. And soon, the lights faded, all but the one spotlight keeping Bloombug visible.

“Well folks, that does it for another episode of CASHLIFE! We still haven’t had a winner, but don’t worry, someone will see the outside of that box one of these days! Join us next week when another college student somewhere in America finds out just how honest they’re willing to get, on CASHLIFE!”