Bite-Sized

“Well, that’s sexy…” he thought as drool slipped down his chin. He was only just coming back into consciousness, and it was a slow process. Curiosity and amusement danced equally in his brain, even as he registered he was bound to a chair in someplace dark. His vision began to clear, and in the flickering light, he could make out a table before him, the stone walls, and an impressive fireplace at the end of the room. This was definitely not the bar he had walked into earlier this evening.

Earlier this evening-

He loved Thursday nights. Ladies’ night at the local bars was better than crowded weekends. After the workday was done, he took a shower. The warm water refreshed and invigorated him. Stepping out, still dripping, he sprayed his most intoxicating cologne onto his damp skin. Hints of tobacco, rum, and pink peppercorn wafted back to him. This scent had worked well for him many times before. He looked into the mirror, running his hand across his jawline. Not clean-shaven and not unkempt, his facial hair was just the right side of sultry. He took his time assembling the outfit. He chose textures carefully, something refined, something rugged, something slightly dangerous. It mustn’t appear too premeditated, or all charm would be lost. The shoes, though, always had to exude class. Women notice shoes.

Women notice shoes-

The bar he chose was a little divey, a little classy, and conveniently close to home. Walking through the door, he discreetly surveyed the scene, assessing ladies taking advantage of drink specials. A small group laughed raucously in one corner. A few pairs sat having intense conversations (about their current relationships, no doubt.) That certainly didn’t rule them out. It worked to his advantage more than once. Are there any loners out there? A few lone women sat at the bar. He casually inventoried them as he headed in their direction. The barkeep knew him well and had his favorite bourbon poured and waiting by the time he was close enough to reach for it. “Evenin’ Lloyd,” The bartender and hunter shared a wink and a crooked smile before he turned his attention to the first candidate for this evening’s recreation.

This evening’s recreation-

She was not from around here. You could tell. The way she sat, the way she held her glass, the unflinching look she gave him, all were just a little more sophisticated than what he was used to working with. He was confident though. Looking at the red wine in her glass, he guessed, “Malbec?” Her smile echoed his as she corrected him. “No, it’s a big plummy Merlot.” In his experience, women love putting a man in his place, and he was happy to oblige. Just like that, the evening was off to the races.

Off to the races-

They conquered entry greetings and small talk. Hers was a deeper voice. It made him lean in closer to hear her, which didn’t seem to be a problem for either of them. The bartender took his empty glass and replaced it with a fresh bourbon. He was uncharacteristically entranced, which might explain why he didn’t notice she wasn’t drinking her wine. Their conversation meandered from gourmet to music, to philosophy. It was seamless and easy. Though he was used to being the alpha, he allowed himself to be led through their first exchange and eventually out the door. Things got a little hazy after that.

Getting hazy-

The woman had timed it perfectly. Just a few steps outside and he stumbled. He laughed like a youngster at his first serious party. No coolness oozed from him now, but he seemed very happy. She shepherded him to her car as a huge dopey smile crossed his face as he sank into the passenger seat. The whole time she kept talking to him in that low sweet voice, maintaining his focus. She had to make sure he could take the stairs when they got to their destination.

Final destination-

He started to fade as they pulled up to a colossal estate. He thought he knew the area exceptionally well, yet he’d never seen this huge house. How was that possible? His thoughts were bouncing between bliss and hilarity. Somewhere deeper, in his base animal instincts, the message of “DANGER!” was muted and twisted until he had some weird reference to Lost in Space nagging him that made him giggle. She turned the throaty motor off of her too fast car and leaned over to place a peck on his cheek, which brought a fresh gale of laughter from him. This buzz was not the bourbon. Something else had happened here. He couldn’t quite wrap his warped mind around it yet.

From a warped mind-

She pulled him from the car as if he was a toddler. Good thing she was abnormally strong. He was barely able to follow her steering. He was still so excited about what he was sure would be a wild night. Through a heavy wooden side door, they shuffled together. After a few turns down darkened halls, she got him to the steps. “Be careful, my love” She helped him slowly descend each stair. He made it down the last one and collapsed. The woman picked him up like a sack of potatoes and plunked him into the chair she had waiting for him. She hurriedly secured him with some thick satin ropes and heaved a sigh of relief. Turning to the fireplace at the end of the room, she lit the kindling and stepped back, admiring her setting. Now to freshen up. Her next guest was due to arrive soon. She was nervous and excited for the first time in decades.

Worth the wait-

There’s no dating service for people like her. There are so few of her kind left in the world, tonight was a real treat in more ways than one. The modern facade she had created to snare the unexpecting young man removed, what replaced it was a more timeless visage. She was now a beauty that transcended the eras. Centuries had burned through any human insecurities. She now shone like an ancient yet brilliant gem. The light bent and refracted around her, giving her an aura of what mortals often mistook for divine light. When she heard the doorbell, the nimbus intensified with her anticipation. She hurried to greet her guest for the first time.

Guest of honor-

A meeting between immortals is tricky to set up. It somehow hearkens back to a more primitive system. Obscure marks, like scent trails, left in seemingly random places were the only calling cards that kept their existence near imperceptible. Sure there had been some slipups somewhere. She knew someone had been exposed when sexy, sparkly vampires flooded the book racks, movies, and tv. Luckily it seemed to have died down lately. Although she had to admit, being replaced by base creatures like zombies in pop culture was a little insulting.

It was her first time meeting her guest, and when she first laid eyes upon them, it was magic. The aura that surrounded them sparked like blue electricity. She invited them in with a flourish, and both parties’ energies fluttered as they came in contact. Her guest was much older than she. Once ancients reach a certain age they leave their humanness entirely behind. There’s no gender, no hair, and the earthy weight of living things no longer applies. They were sublime undead forms of pulsing opal. Shifting color and flashes of magic make up their entire being. Ancients have been confused with angels and aliens, but were, in her view, more sublime than either.

A conversation for the ages-

There’s no clear way to describe vampire interaction. They don’t need to wrap sounds around tongue and teeth to form speech. Exchanges of thoughts, ideas, and whole stories can pass through touching fingertips. The two creatures shared their history and hilarious escapades in a series of gentle caresses. Their first “date” was moving along exceeding well. Our hostess sensed the human should be ready for them. She suggested they relocate to the basement, where she had prepared a special surprise to end the evening.

Bite-sized-

Our hapless young man watched as the two figures reached the bottom of the stairs. His grin widened impossibly. He fleetingly wished he could wipe his chin and present himself to them in some semblance of the package he had so carefully prepared for this evening. He had some notion that he would never leave this dark cellar as the vampires began to enjoy their dessert.