Because I Love You seven

Soon as the cartoon was over, Emmett had another activity for them. It wasn't as messy as paints. But it seemed to be pretty fun. And Rhys sort of liked the idea of doing it.

The next activity was making photo albums. Well, making a family album that they both could put pictures in. And Emmett would probably put more into than he honestly would. Not, that Emmett really seemed to care. As he still enthusiastically got things down to decorate the stupid looking books. Grinning ear to ear as he said they'd fill it up throughout a year. Then look back on it once they did that. Rhys only hoped to be out of there long before then.

As he didn't want to be there for a year.

Instead of even hinting at this, he watched Papa unlock his cuff. They hurriedly headed back to the dining room. Their paintings from before still laying on the table. Which the older man quickly picked up and set aside on a smaller table near the entrance to the kitchen. Then he pulled off the white sheet protecting the dining room table. Instructing Rhys to sit down at his normal spot. Which the younger man did without any hesitation.

Waiting patiently for the older man to return, he glanced around. Humming a little bit with a small smile on his face. Taking a moment to realize that he was humming the song that Papa normally did. Feeling a little more than icky about it. And he immediately stopped himself as soon as he realized it. Sighing softly as he stared at his hands. How was he getting used to this? Doing this that made his captor happy. Obeying him under the threat of violence. How could he just let himself become complacent? Rhys couldn't understand why he was so scared. And acting so utterly pathetic. He thought he would be so much stronger then this. So much more stronger than this.

How in the Hell could he just let this happen?

Sitting at the table, Rhys toyed with his nails. Doing everything he could to avoid thinking about it. As he feared what would happen if he did. How he might bite his lip until it bled, again. Which would probably piss papa off. Or at least cause him to question him.

None of which he can really answer. Ever. As Rhys felt he wouldn't really listen to any lie he said. Not anymore. And not after everything he had done.

So, he stopped chewing his bottom lip. Taking a deep breath as he quietly prayed. Prayed that this will all end soon. And he would be home soon. Back to his almost empty apartment. And the few things he owned inside of it. Back to his unexciting job and the annoying customers.

Hell, he actually kind of missed them.

At leat those asshole's treated him like an adult. Unlike Papa. Shaking his head to dispel the thoughts, he took a quiet deep breath. He couldn't think of that for too long either. It wasn't going to serve him in the moment. All it would do is mess with everything. Rhys did his best to stay grounded in the moment.

Not wanting that monster to further mess with him. As he already messed with him and his emotions. Killing the person that Rhys had used to be. Well, almost killing that person.

Rhys felt his stomach drop to the floor. Just...was he really losing himself? Truly losing himself? Or was he just feeling very overwhelmed? Everything about this was making him reel. His thoughts were jumbled as he sat in his chair. How long had he been there again? A few days or so? A week? Maybe. Rhys wasn't entirely certain of the time frame. It was really hard to know for sure. As he felt it had been day when he managed to escape. Though he wasn't sure what time it was. If it was sometime in the morning or in the afternoon. Just how long was any of this? This indignity? Rhys wasn't entirely sure of. All he knew is that he wanted to go home. And away from the creepy bastard who was out to keep him for whatever reason.

Said creepy bastard came back with arms full of things they could use. There were some glue sticks and regular bottles of glue. He had some bags of feathers along with glitter. A few strips of stick on gems. All stuff that would work with what they both liked. Or at least what Papa wanted them both to like. Rhys wasn't entirely sure. What he was sure of was the whole thing was going to be uncomfortable. As he knew he was going to enjoy this. And every part of him didn't want to enjoy that.

What he wanted was to leave the...he had to stop thinking about that. As all it would do is further fuck with his head. So, Rhys just focused on what his photo album would look like. And to pick his words for any questions Papa will give.

"Ready to get creative, Baby?",Papa asked. Not really but it was much better than doing nothing. And Rhys nodded his head in agreement. Quietly, Rhys answered,"Yes, Papa. I'm ready to do this."

"It looks like it's going to be a lot of fun.",Rhys added. It definitely wasn't a lie when he said this. All of this looked like it was going to be fun. And he hoped it would last them a good long while. Maybe a few hours. Anything to take his mind off of everything. Mostly everything that was going on. As there was no ignoring Papa. No matter how much he wanted to.

A second later, they started placing decorations on the books. Little stickers on his. Papa made his look less silly. But the thing still looked pretty childish. Like it was meant to record a baby's progression and development. Something that deeply sickened him.

Is that how he truly viewed Rhys? As nothing more than a small...it was obvious. After all, most of what they've done were very child friendly. Rhys felt like a total idiot for not letting himself fully realize this. To Papa, all Rhys was was a giant child. One that had to be taken care of by him. Has to be disciplined and possibly coddled. Mostly disciplined. At least that's what it's been like for a few days. And who knew how long he had been there for. A few days. Maybe a few long weeks or so. Who knew when you didn't have access to a calendar? To anything that could give him a correct date. All he had was Papa's internal clock.

And Papa's clock ran at whatever pace. One that Rhys wasn't entirely used to. As it seemed to place meals at the oddest times. Along with bed time and bath time.

Bath time being a twice a day type thing. Another thing that he probably shouldn't linger on. So, he just stuck on little gems on his book. Making a small pattern with it, just a little heart. It made him feel strangely so much better. Despite it being just a silly little pattern. It made him feel more like himself. More like an adult than the whole time he was there. Feeling much more in control as well. Fixing the last bit into it, Rhys smiled. This was exactly what he wanted it to look like. And he used markers to write his name on it. When he was done, Papa asked,"Are you done, Bubba?"

"Yeah. I am, Papa.",Rhys answered. Showing the finished book in all its glory. It was exactly what he desired. And it wasn't all that childish. Despite how Papa probably wanted it to be. Though he strangely didn't feel upset by this. Or even looked the slightest bit surprised by Rhys's book. Which was really starting to piss himself off. Why wasn't he more upset or surprised? Just how wasn't this surprising to the older man? His blatant disobedience? Rhys couldn't understand in the slightest bit.

Nor could he understand his own growing frustration. Just what was there really to be angry about? That this failed to get the reaction that he wanted? Or that Papa wasn't actually disappointed in him?

Rhys wasn't sure.

What he was sure of is that Papa wasn't reacting. Well, not in the way that the younger man desires. Another thing that was truly puzzling him right then. Just why was he feeling like this right now? So, so...conflicted? Was it even the right term for what he was feeling?

Rhys wasn't entirely certain of anything. All he was certain of is this wasn't anything good. Calmly, Rhys set his book down on the table. Not wanting to anger the older man by slamming it down. Which was something that he really wanted to do. Then he gave the older man a tiny smile. Looking at Papa's book, Rhys asked,"May I see yours, Papa?"

"Of course you can, my love.",Papa answered. He picked up the book he had been working on. Proudly showing it to Rhys. Grinning widely as he showed off his hard work. The thing definitely was a developmental book for children. And it was definitely meant for Rhys. Despite the fact that he clearly wasn't a fucking child. Or even close to being one in the slightest bit. Signifying waht he's already known for days now.

Papa doesn't see him as an adult.

The older man wasn't just merely pretending Rhys was a small child. That he truly believed the younger man was his child. Even if it meant breaking him into pieces in the process. And he wasn't sure that he could withstand it. As he barely withstood what the man previously did. He doubted that he could really withstand the mind games. But, he was going to have to if he wanted to survive. And Rhys wanted more then anything to survive. Survive and go home.

Where he wasn't in danger of being hurt. And being understimulated was better than this utter bullshit. At least at home he could just buy stuff. Like games or even a decent T.V to play movies on. That's what he kept telling himself as he smiled at Papa. Then he complimented,"That looks so good, Papa. You did a really great job on it."

"Thank you so much, Bubba.",Papa gushed. The pure joy and excitement in his voice. Face slightly flushed as he set his work down on the table. Then he hurried out of his chair. He walked over to Rhys's side and he pulled him close. Kissing the top of the younger man's head. It nearly sent a shiver down his spine.

But, he suppressed it to the best of his ability. Forcing a completely fake smile on his face. Not wanting to alert the older man how he actually felt. Instead, he decided to ask,"So when are we putting pictures in, Papa?"

Well, we haven't taken any just yet.",Papa reminded. Keeping his tone light as he pulled away. Gently, he booped Rhys's nose. And he continued,"My silly little goose."

"Once we take some, we will add them.",Papa informed. Of course that was going to happen. His stomach twisted at this. A whole year of taking pictures to please this man. Doing who knew what in the process. As he wasn't entirely sure if he could handle it. Again, Rhys was just going to have to handle it. Otherwise things were going to be terrible. Survival was all he had to do. Obviously,survival was all he could do. Rhys needed to take a deep breath and collect himself. As right now, he was falling apart on himself. And he needed desperately to be in one piece. All he had to do is keep it together until he could escape again.

Taking a careful deep breath, he asked,"So, what are we gonna do next Papa?"

"Well, I was thinking we could cuddle for a short while.",Papa answered. Grinning a little more as he hugged the younger man. Kissing the top of his head at least three times. It sort of sickened him. But, like did before he ignored the feeling. Allowing the older man to pull him to his feet. He continued,"I know we do that a lot but, I really enjoy it."

Of course, a creep like him would enjoy it. Why in the Hell wouldn't he?

It took him a lot to just smile and nod. Allowing the older man to walk back him back to the living room. Sit him down on the spot that he designated for the younger man. Then slip the ankle cuff back where it had been before. Which was something that he still wasn't used to. And he prayed that he never would be.

A moment later, Papa had walked over to the T.V and popped in a video. It looked like a cartoon. Another one that he hadn't ever seen before. And for the most part, it seemed pretty okay. Aside from being too childish for his tastes.

Deciding to just let it go, he relaxed. Figuring it was better to go with it then to resist. Rhys allowed Papa to hold him once again. Pulling the younger man back until his back hit his chest. Hands resting gently on Rhys's belly. Gently rubbing it as they watched the screen. It gave him a strange sense of familiarity. And he didn't find himself hating it. Though he couldn't bring himself to liking it either. All it was at the moment was just an odd sense of normal. One that he would really rather not endure.

And Rhys sucked it up to the best of his ability. Settling his own hands over Papa's. Inwardly cringing at how much bigger they were than his own. It was one thing to know he was stronger than him. Remembering the punishment that happened so long ago. Yet sitting together like this. Sitting comfortably on the older man's lap like a toddler with their Father. Really put their dynamic into an uncomfortable perspective.

Making him fully realize how pathetic he was in comparison. That there was no way for him to properly fight back. Even if he desperately desired to. There just was no real point in doing so. Rhys did his best to not linger on that line of thinking. As it was a dangerous rabbit hole of pain. One that he absolutely couldn't allow himself to go down.

While he sat, he felt Papa's mouth on his temple. Pressing what was probably meant to be a sneaky kiss. It thoroughly annoyed him as he just laid against Papa. Allowing more of the gentle pecks. That were happening more frequently. Much to frequently for Rhys's tastes. And he wanted nothing more than to tell him to stop. Again, an action that would definitely upset Papa. Being refused something that he seemed to desire the most. And he couldn't bear what might come. Even if it was really cowardly of him.

So, there he sat as Papa laid kisses on him. Multiple in a row. Growing in intensity that startled him. And were starting to hurt a little. If he were being honest. They didn't feel good in the slightest bit. But, he didn't dare move or make one tiny little sound.

Not of discomfort or disapproval.

All Rhys did is continue to allow it to happen. Loathing every second that it did. Doing his best to not show it on his face. As any form of negative emotion seemed to make Papa upset. Well, anything that could be considered a boundary. Be it asked nicely or not. 

After a few minutes, Papa stopped on his own. Either disappointed that he wasn't getting a reaction. Or finally done with whatever the Hell that had been. Some random outburst of affection. One that really just snuck up on the other man. It was also something he hoped wouldn't happen again anytime soon. And that it would be a couple of days or more. Maybe a fucking week or two at most. Two weeks would be the absolute best.

If he were being truly honest, never would be perfect for him.

Though he fully knew that never wasn't an actual option. Not in Papa's company it would ever be. Never was never an option. Rhys despised knowing this as he sat on Papa's lap. Trying to pay attention to the show. But, it was much too boring for him. The story was just not engaging enough for him to enjoy. All he wanted to do was watch anything else. Anything but this snore fest. Hell, he'd watch paint dry then this Disney knock-off. Whatever the Hell this dumb show was. He didn't know why Papa liked the damn thing. Before he could even stop himself, Rhys asked,"Can we watch something else, Papa?"

"This really sucks.",he added. Then immediately regretted his choice of words. As he heard Papa inhale sharply. Holding still as humanly possible he refused to look at him. Papa then did something that thoroughly confused him.

He started laughing.

Big laughs that took Rhys off guard and shook him a little. Turning himself slightly, he saw the smile on Papa's face. Why was he smiling like that for? Was what he said really all that funny? Papa finally stopped laughing his ass off after a few seconds. Then he stated,"I was so hoping you would say that, Bubba."

"Even I'm finding this boring as all out.",Papa informed. With that he carefully picked up Rhys. Gently setting him down on the couch next to himself. Then quickly rising to his feet to change the tape. To hopefully, something that wasn't boring. Though he wished for something much more geared towards his actual age group. Instead of this utter bullshit. That probably wasn't going to happen anytime soon. And he knew it.

Also knew there was no point in pouting over it.

Instead, he reminded himself to just relax. Just pretend that everything was fine. After all, what other choice did Rhys really have?

Settling his hands in his lap, he stared at Papa. Watching him work on the VCR. A second later, Papa came back over and picked up Rhys. Sitting him once more on his lap. Pulling him into the relaxed position that he had before. It felt warm and comforting. More than he would ever want to admit as well.

When Papa placed his hands on his belly, he sighed. It was more out of annoyance if he were being honest. Though it seemed Papa thought otherwise. Pulling him a little closer to himself. And gave the top of his head another gentle kiss. Papa asked,"I hope that you don't mind that I put 'Thumbelina' in?"

"It's one of my favorite movies.",he informed. Though it wasn't something that he particularly enjoyed growing up. It was okay. But, he found it to be just overly sweet. And the plot moved much too fast for him to really care about it. But, he wasn't going to burst Papa's bubble. Not if he knew what was good for him, he wasn't. Rhys answered,"It's okay, Papa."

"The music is really lovely to listen to.",he added. That was true. Thumbelina did have some lovely music to listen to. And if he were truly being honest, he loved the songs. As well as Thumbelina's overall design. He found her to be just so lovely to look at. Though between her and her prince, he preferred Prince Cornelius. When he was a kid, he wanted to look exactly like him. As the guy was just so freaking pretty. And that was the only time he ever wanted to look pretty.

It had thoroughly confused him growing up. Younger Rhys thought it was a crush. But, it was way more complicated than that.

Rhys did his best to resist the urge to squirm as Papa kissed him again. Nuzzling the top of his head. Probably with a big goofy grin on his face. One that he refused to acknowledge the look on Papa's face. Mostly wanting to watch the movie in peace. And just not wanting to be harassed by the giant asshat. It vaguely annoyed him that the older man kept kissing him. Much like he had done before. Repeated and unasked for kisses. This time however he had some annoying cutsie words to say. Most were just nasty to hear. And made him want to throat punch the older man.

"Such a sweetie pie you are.",Papa cooed. Like he were talking to a toddler. One that possibly wanted his nasty ass attention. And he really didn't want that. But, he pretended he did. Faking a grin the best he could. Letting Papa turn him towards himself. Nuzzling his cheek as he continued,"My sweet little squishy bean."

"I love you so much, my love.",he added. It sort of disgusted him on some level. Yet, it sort of warmed Rhys's heart. Like there was this strange need in him for this. One he hadn't known he needed in a long while. And it felt terrible knowing Papa seemed to know it. One way or another, he knew.

Without Rhys telling him or asking him. Knew exactly what the younger man needed from him. There was something strange about it. In ways that he couldn't understand. And truthfully sort of intimidated the younger man.

"Such a good boy for Papa.",he gushed. Kissing Rhys's cheek twice. It was gross but, not at the same time. It was a strange feeling. Being kissed on by somebody like Papa. That just honestly made him feel so sick. Yet not sick. Rhys didn't know how to properly explain himself. Nor would he ever be able to. How in the world would he even begin to? Where in the world could he try? Just how could anyone begin to explain this? This wasn't anything he ever seen in his life. Or even heard before in his life, then again whenever heard of anyone dealing with this. Or even read about it before. Where the kidnapper treats his hostage like their child. Feeding them? Yes. But treating them like this? No.

It was by far one of the worst parts. Aside from being kidnapped. The amount of affection his captor was giving him. It was all kinds of gross and creepy. Disturbingly not the...he wasn't sure why it wasn't too gross. Or why he wasn't more sickened by him.

All he knew is that he couldn't stand it. And a small part of him wanted more. More of the nasty kisses. Along with the stupid fucking pet names. It was sort of nice. Making him feel utterly sick and strangely warm at the same time. Papa chirped,"My darling little cuddly teddy bear. A sweet wonderful baby."

"You're mine now and forever.",he vowed. Now and forever? This frightened him. Just how long could that even reasonably last? Rhys already pissed him off twice now. Who in the Hell knows what could happen if he messed up a third time? When and if that happened? Another round of spanking? Forced to clean up the entire house again and not be fed? Dying? Then it hit him, he probably would be dying. Or made to beg for his life. And he knew this better than anyone. It was one of the reasons he really despised the attention given. Yet, a small part of him adored it. Despite knowing the danger he was in. There was this odd feeling of love.

"I promise, my love.",Papa murmured. Pulling Rhys even closer to his body with a faint smile. The warmth of the older man making him feel strangely comfortable. It was strange how it felt so nice. And disgusted him at the same time. He didn't try to pull away from the older man. Doing his best to not shudder at Papa's touch as he laid there. All he did was allow the older man to hold him like this. Pressing his cheek to the top of Rhys's head. Petting his body with a free hand and he could feel the smile. The petting actually made him start to feel so much better than he expected. How could this feel so nice? In a quiet voice, Papa continued,"You're mine and I adore you. So, so much."

"I was thinking, we could have some cake tonight?",Papa asked. Fast food and some cake? That seemed pretty odd to him. Like he was trying to bribe the younger man or something like that. As it certainly came off as one. If so, why was Papa bribing him for? Was there another reason for him to do that? It made him raise an eyebrow as he sat there for a second. Rhys stated,"I would really love that, Papa."

"But what's the occasion?",he questioned. Still a bit confused as to why he was even getting this. After all, Papa had grounded him for a while. And wanted to know why he was being spoiled. Doing his best to not come off as an annoying little brat. Apparently, he had done well enough. As Papa answered,"I was just rethinking how I've been doing things lately."

"How I first punished you when I got you home.",Papa continued. The tone in his voice sounded a little like regret. Did he truly regret any of his past actions? That genuinely surprised the Hell out of Rhys as he laid on Papa's chest. After all, he was keeping him in his home against his will. Also considering everything else that had happened. Rhys thought that Papa didn't care that he had harmed the younger man. After all, Papa also had threatened to starve him for trying to run away. So, why did he now give a shit? Papa added,"I have been too harsh with my punishments. And I know that threat to stave you was just over the line, too."

"I shouldn't have hurt you in anger like I had done.",Papa stated. It was so odd. He hated to admit it but, it sort of warmed him. The fact that Papa was admitting to somewhat be wrong. Well, for the most part he was admitting to be wrong. As it was clear the kidnapping wasn't wrong in Papa's eyes. Rhys didn't know what exactly to say about this. This strangely sort of made him grin as they cuddled together. But he did his best to hide it as he laid there. Not wanting to show Papa that his apologies were working. Papa added,"I'm so sorry that I've been so cruel with you, my love."

"I promise that I'm going to be so much kinder from now on. And I'll work on how I discipline you going forward.",he vowed. It sounded like he was serious about it. Truly like he believed what he was telling the younger man. Though a part of Rhys couldn't believe him or trust what he was telling him either. His stomach twisting as he felt it was all lies. That the older man would fuck up and harm him. And he couldn't trust that this vow would last long. Maybe less then a week at most. As Papa had a terrible temper. And he could barely keep himself in check. How in the world did he expect Rhys to actually believe him?

Did the older man actually believe his own words? Rhys wasn't entirely sure that he did. Some part of him felt that he wanted to but, couldn't.

"Can we have some chocolate cake, Papa?"Rhys questioned. It was one of his favorite go to cake flavors. In fact it was his absolute favorite cake flavor. With strawberry and lemon being his a close second. He also hoped that it would be a flavor that Papa liked. Or at least somewhat tolerated. Papa answered,"Well, alright. Since you've been such a sweet boy you can have chocolate cake."

"Now, what do you want from McDonald's?",Papa asked. He highly doubted that he could have a grown up meal. As he guessed that Papa would think it was too much food. Or something like that. After all, Rhys was just a little kid to the older man. Which nearly made him roll his eyes as he laid against Papa's chest. Though he felt that it was worth a shot to ask. Smiling slightly, Rhys requested,"Can I get a Big Mac meal with a Sprite?"

"No, Baby. That's way too much food for you to handle. And you're getting chocolate cake so you don't need more sugar in you.",Papa shot him down. Of course he wouldn't let him have that. The one thing he'd been craving for such a long time. Why in the world did Rhys think otherwise? Still, Rhys felt that he had to try at least. After all, the older man was spoiling him with a whole chocolate cake. So why not see if he got something that he had really wanted? Instead of pushing his luck, the younger man gave a soft sigh. Then Rhys asked,"Can I have some chicken nuggets instead, Papa?"

"Indeed you can get that, Baby. And I'm going to make sure that you get some apple juice instead of pop.",Papa stated. It sucked but, at least he was getting some chicken nuggets at all. That was much better than nothing at all. And he was also getting a chocolate cake for dessert. Which was the best kind of sweets he could get. Especially, after being threatened with not getting them for a week.

Either Papa forgot he wasn't supposed to have them. Or he was feeling pretty damn generous. Maybe a bit guilty, too. Not with how he treated him entirely. But, probably the nightmares that his actions had given the younger man. The ones that he had been waking Rhys up for a few days now. Looking so worried about the younger man's screaming in fear. That's how Rhys interpreted this at the very least. And he stated,"Thank you, Papa."

"You're very welcome, Bubba.",Papa stated. Giving him another kiss on the forehead. Allowing the younger man to turn back around. Pulling Rhys's back gently to his chest like he had before. Being as careful as he could with him. Papa wrapped his arms around Rhys's waist. Hands resting on his stomach as they laid together. Giving it a gentle little rub. One that again reminded him of his childhood. Not, in a way that he was sure if he enjoyed. As a small part of him felt patronized. And more like an object than an actual person. Which Papa probably did deep down. Whether he really knew it or would own up to it. Rhys highly doubted that he would ever own up to something like that.

Though he possibly didn't realize he was treating him like an object. At least not consciously.

Rhys elected to not think about that aspect of this. Resting his hands over Papa's Again, trying to not think about how much bigger they were than his own. How easy it would be for the older man to kill him. As he didn't want his face to betray his emotions. Or to tense up. Which was sure Papa would easily notice. Then there would be a ton of questioning. None of which he wanted to answer.

So, he kept his cool as he stared at the screen. Smiling to himself as Thumbelina continued to play. Feeling more relaxed than he had since first arriving. Maybe even in a long time before all of this. He couldn't remember the last time anyone cuddled him. Or even touched him as gently as Papa had. His own Father didn't even hug him all that often. Before or after his transition. Especially, not after he started to transition. What little touches or hugs he got were nonexistent after his Father found out.

Another thing that he found more than a little isolating. At the time it felt immensely isolating. Though he had thought he had bore it well. After all, he didn't need to be held or kissed. In his mind, he felt that he didn't need them. And at the time, he probably didn't need them. Well, for the most part he kept trying to tell himself. Making utterly sure that the lack of love he got didn't bother him.

Now he realized he might have been really lying to himself. Probably more than he realized that he had been. Being held like this it was a strange feeling. One that he couldn't explain. Again it wasn't something that he could ever. And again, he didn't think he ever could. A small memory of being touch starved cropped up. Something about how you'd never realized it until you were being held. Or someone touched your face gently. It was something like that if he remembered hard enough. In all honesty the younger man didn't really want to. All he knew is the article had somehow annoyed him. Though he wasn't entirely sure why it had.

Even now, Rhys wasn't sure why it bothered him at the time. After all, it wasn't even written snobbily. And it wasn't about anything all that terrible. Either. Yet, it somehow bothered him. Maybe it was thanks to something he buried from when he was younger. Or something to that effect. Either way, he didn't entirely know. And still wasn't entirely sure of. What he was sure of, is it felt so good. Good to be held by a pair of loving arms. Being told how much they loved him. Even if it were by someone like Papa. And right now, he didn't know what kind of man he was. Papa was becoming more and more confusing by the day.

And he wasn't sure..oh, he knew. It was the affection. The way he had treated him that made him feel better about his childhood. This sort of felt like his inner child was healing. While the rest of him was traumatized by the shit that the older man was doing to him. All of this were things he wished he had gotten when he was so much younger. Not, just from his own Father. But, from his Mother as well.

The second the movie was over, Papa gently lifted him up. Settling him once again on the couch. Then he got off the couch and he hurriedly walked over to the T.V. Rewinding the movie before taking the movie out of the VCR. Putting it back in its case shortly afterward. Then he turned the whole T.V off with a smile. He headed back over to the couch. Quickly getting the cuff off of Rhys's ankle. Taking the younger man's hand in his as they walked together. Giving it a gentle squeeze as soon as they headed upstairs to his room. Rhys hated that he felt reassured by the effing squeezing on his hand.

The older man gently encouraged him to sit on his own bed. Giving his forehead a gentle kiss before leaving the room. Only looking back once to tell him,"Papa promises to hurry back, my love."

"You won't be in here for too long.",he added. Giving Rhys that annoyingly sweet smile that he hated. One that he did his best to reciprocate. Praying that it looked more authentic than it felt. And Papa's smile didn't falter. Nor did the older man look upset in the slightest bit. He told him,"I love you so much. Goodbye, Bubba."

"I love you, too. Bye, Papa.",Rhys stated. Soon as the door shut, his smile fell. And he stared at the floor as the door was shut. Wincing when he heard Papa lock his bedroom door. Leaving him alone in his terribly empty bedroom. For a moment, Rhys just felt like crying about the whole thing. It was silly to be upset that Papa wasn't...that Emmett wasn't around him anymore. Yet, the urge to cry just somewhat overwhelmed him. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he sat on his bed. He even realized that he was almost calling Emmett 'Papa' when the older man wasn't even around anymore.

It made him feel sick as he sat there.

Taking a deep shaky breath, he got off of his bed. Looking around his bedroom for either something to distract him. Or to find something to entertain himself as well. Crying wasn't going to be helping him if he wanted to get free. What was that going to do for him? Aside from making him look like a total fool when Emmett finally came back. From getting the bribes that he wanted to give, Rhys. And he knew full well those were just bribes. That the older man wasn't going to be able to keep up his kind act.

Rhys checked around his room for anything to help in his next escape. Emmett may have taken out all of the toys in the room. Along with quite a few of the books, not that it mattered. But, he highly doubted that the older man pulled everything out of the room. Or had any time to take everything that he could use to get free of the older man. Carefully laying on the ground, he checked under his bed. There was nothing under there but some dust. Something he wished that he had cleaned out from under the bed. Frowning a little, he muttered,"Maybe if I ask nicely enough and I'll get to clean this."

"I don't know how I missed this yesterday.",Rhys mumbled. Feeling a little silly that he hadn't managed to clean it out the other day. Ignoring this, he continued to search the entire bedroom. Opening some of his dresser drawers and carefully searching through clothes. Not wanting to mess them up in ways that Emmett would easily notice. There had been nothing in any of the drawers that he could use. Or even pull out to use without Emmett finding out he did this. And he chewed his bottom lip as he checked the nearby closet. Praying that there was something in there to help him out. To use against his horrible captor in the future and get him home.

There wasn't anything.

His heart sank as he realized that Emmett didn't need to clean his room. That the older man knew that he wouldn't find anything in the room. And that the staple and paper clip he had found before were just flukes. Tears threaten to spill as he went back to his bed. Sitting down hard at the end of it as he furiously blinked them away. In a soft voice, he mumbled,"No,no, no...don't cry. We'll find a way out of here and back home."

"Emmett won't keep us trapped here for the rest of our lives.",he vowed to himself. That he was going to leave with his dignity intact. Whatever the Hell was left of that, that is. Pushing down his emotions, he stared at the door. Wondering just how long it would be until the older man would come back. Whether it was going to be an hour or two hours. Maybe less than that. It really sucked that he didn't know what the time was. And wished that he had a clock in his bedroom. 

Part of him wondered if that was on purpose or not. That Emmett was making him unable to keep track of time. So that the older man could keep better control of him. At least, Rhys felt that was what he was trying to do.

He wasn't entirely sure.

Why else would he keep Rhys from being able to see a clock? It seemed like something that Emmett would do. And it definitely would keep Rhys disoriented in his 'loving care'. Though it could possibly be a strange coincidence. That maybe Emmett had just forgotten to put a clock in his bedroom. And that if he asked Pa-EMMETT to give him one, he definitely would give him one.

While he sat there, he wondered just where Emmett was going. Like did he have to go into a different town for their food? Was he going into the town that they were in? Were they even all that near a town for him to not make a huge trip? Was he going to guilt trip him over it? Wasting all that gas over something so stupid because Rhys had done something stupid. Making his 'Papa' make it up to him for being such a bad boy. This strangely made him feel guilty and it wasn't even Emmett saying these things. He tried to ignore the feelings as they overwhelmed him. Nearly bringing him to tears as he sat there on the bed. Quietly, Rhys muttered,"Oh, fuck that noise."

"It isn't my fault that I wanted to fucking leave here.",he snapped at his own poisonous thoughts. Trying to push them away as he sat there on his bed. Feeling disgusted with himself for being so freaking weak. Tears rolling down his face as his thoughts were overwhelming him. Laying back on his back as he then curled in on himself. Crying into arms as he tried to keep himself calm. All of this was just so hard to understand. In a soft voice, he murmured,"Fuck you, fuck you...I'm not at fault for wanting to go home."

"I want to go home and I just want to see my fucking family.",he continued. Rhys tried to assure himself that it was perfectly fine. There was a tiny part of his brain that said something else. That reminded him that Papa loved him in his own weird way. Even if it had been difficult for him to show, Papa loved him. Told him that every single day that they were together. Held him when he was feeling upset. Kissed his face mostly every single time they were around each other. And they did everything that Rhys wanted him to do together. Rhys was given so many gifts from the older man before running off. That he should feel a little guilty for making his Papa's life bad.

That Papa was just trying to do what was best for him. And that he kept shutting him out. After all, his life before all of this wasn't that great. Why would he want to go back to that? 

To an empty apartment with family members who didn't want him. Or even really cared that he was alive.

It made him feel more than just a little guilty as he laid there. Tears rolling down his cheeks as he hiccuped. Feeling just utterly miserable as he laid there on the bed. The thoughts reminded him that his Papa was loving him so much. And that he only spanked him once. Hadn't hit him afterwards. Not even so much as given him a light swat anywhere. The only time that he raised his voice was when Rhys had run out of the house. And sure, the older man had threatened to not feed him. He recognized that was a step too far and even apologized for that. Apologized for spanking him the way that he did. Whether or not he genuinely bad for what he had done to Rhys or not. Or it was just some weird form of the guilties.

And he didn't know if that was true or not. Or if Emmett even could feel guilty for kidnapping him.

Wiping the tears away with the palm of his hands, he sighed. All of this was hard to understand. And it was draining him more emotionally than in his entire life. A part of him felt physically drained as he laid on his side. Unsure of what he could possibly do after all of this. Or what he could even do to get away from the older man. Emmett was too strong for him to actually fight off. As the man was at least three times his size. Not even actually exaggerating in the slightest bit, Emmett was huge. Probably average for a man his age. Probably. And that Rhys was just a short scrawny guy. Especially, after how the older man hadn't been feeding him properly in the past few days. Giving him only enough food to be feeding a toddler. It made him uncomfortable as he realized it was probably for that.

To keep him somewhat weak without entirely starving him.

Though Emmett was probably not doing it on purpose. After all, he had acted so upset at the idea of starving him. Well sort of upset. Maybe he wasn't as remorseful as he wanted Rhys to believe he was. And that it was just an elaborate act to keep Rhys compliant. Now that he thought of it, it definitely seemed like something that he would do. Despite the complacent part of his brain telling him that it wasn't true. And that Papa really loved him. That it had harmed him when he hurt Rhys.

And a whole lot of bullshit that didn't really mean anything.

To him, it really didn't mean anything in the slightest bit. Rhys tried his best to ignore it. Though he couldn't help but feel entirely guilty as he laid there. Looking up at his ceiling while settling his hands on his stomach. Trying to get all of his thoughts under control. Everything about this was hard for him to understand as he laid there. Some of him wanted to stay there with Papa. To be loved and doted on by someone so attentive and loving. Despite how many the first rough patch they had in all of this. And the way that Papa had hurt him so bad it probably left some ugly bruises on him. He had apologized for doing so. Promised him to do even better than that going forward.

Though the rest of him thought this was horribly naive. And in all honesty, it was naive. To believe his kidnapper who seemed to have issues keeping his temper. Thought that starving him was the best idea at discipline. It didn't matter that he had ran away or not. Starving him wasn't ever okay. Nor, had been hitting him the way that he had. And that he shouldn't ever trust the older man no matter what he had said.

All of this was hard to understand as he laid there. Taking a deep breath, he heard a car pulling up. Followed by footsteps walking to the house. Papa was home with the goods. He quickly sat up, straightened his hair, and then wiped his eyes. Trying to make sure that he looked presentable for the older man. Praying that he wouldn't ask about why his eyes were red. And that dinner would be over quickly.