Commercials You Haven't Seen

Shot of a man seated in a hospital corridor looking contemplative. He thoughtfully slides a finger along the gift-wrapped package he holds in his hands.

HEARTFELT VOICEOVER: My daddy used to wake me up before the sun came up to come on down with him to his gym. Bob’s Gym. Named after my daddy. He said, ‘son, one day this’ll all be yours.’

Shot of the kid being woken up in the middle of the night by a warm and loving father. The kid walks adoringly beside his dad as his father ruffles his hair.

HEARTFELT VOICEOVER: I loved that gym. Like I loved my dad. He always let me help him set up the ring.

Shots of the father and son setting up the wrestling ring.

HEARTFELT VOICEOVER: The smell and feel of the canvas, the feel of the ropes when stretched to just the right tautness.

Shots of the son looking up to his father as they set up the ring. Warm smiles. Love. The father teaches his son drills, and how to roll and how to tuck his neck just right and how to fall and tumble. Shots back to the man, all grown up now waiting in a hospital corridor holding a package.

HEARTFELT VOICE: My daddy taught me everything. Everything there was to know about the wrestling business. He always told me: “son… remember the Presidents of Wrestling”

Shots of the kid blinking confusedly at his father's words during the drills.

HEARTFELT VOICEOVER: I never did understand my daddy, even through it all.

Now the son is a teenager still learning from his father. Shots of the son growing up as his father grows older, and slowly it becomes more difficult for the father to be as active in the ring.

HEARTFELT VOICEOVER: My daddy always said that: “Remember the Presidents of Wrestling”, and he meant it.

Shot back to the grown up with his head hanging in the hospital corridor.

HEARTFELT VOICEOVER: I never did become a wrestler. Just didn’t have it. I guess I ended up with my head too far into computers, and I guess, my daddy never appreciated his son being a nerd like that, but… I never forgot my daddy’s advice….

The son rises off his seat in the hospital corridor and enters the hospital room where his now aged and dying father is laid up in a hospital bed looking weak, sick, and hooked to machines. He smiles when he sees his son and his son moves to embrace him.

SON: Dad… I know I failed you when I didn’t become a wrestler.

The dad hides his disappointment as his son says so.

SON: But I never forgot your lessons, dad. Here…

The son offers the package to his father who looks at him with surprise, and excitement. Like his whole life’s ambitions to raise his son in his image has suddenly paid off. He excitedly opens the package and pulls out…

SON: I did it, Dad. The Presidents of Wrestling. Just like you taught me. It took most of my life, but I made it. For you.

Slowly, his father’s smile turns to a frown, but he's too choked up to say anything.

FATHER: …?

His son blinks and shifts awkwardly where he stands.

SON: Are you proud of me, dad?

A beat of his father glaring at the video game case.

FATHER: I said the PRECEDENCE of Wrestling, you idiot! PRECEDENCE. P-R-E-C-E-D-E-N-C-E. Cause it means the world to me! I wanted you to be a wrestler, not a game designer! What the hell is this?!

SON: Oh…

FATHER: What the hell. You never listened to a damned word I said, did you? Presidents of Wrestling?!

SON: It’s got Lyndon Johnson, though. And Jimmy Carter! And new DLC for Donald Trump. D-did you wanna play a few rounds?

The father looks up to his son from his hospital bed with utter disappointment and shakes his head.

A wicked awesome slide along an electric guitar breaks it up and kicks into amazing rocking guitar riffs and rock music!

WICKED AWESOME VOICEOVER: THAT’S RIGHT! THE PRESIDENTS OF WRESTLING ARE HERE! ENJOY: STORY MODE!

Supremely well rendered Computer Generated John F. Kennedy stalks the ring with a microphone in hand while at the top of the ramp an equally impressive CG Barrack Obama glares down at him.

COMPUTER GENERATED JOHN F. KENNEDY: BARRACK, er uh… since you seem to think you’re, er uh, bettah than me….

COMPUTER GENERATED BARRACK OBAMA: Now wait just a minute here, John, wait just a minute—

COMPUTER GENERATED JOHN F. KENNEDY: ER UH I’M NOT FINISHED! SINCE YOU WANT TO, ER UH, CHALLENGE MY PLACE IN HISTORY… TO GET TO ME… YOU’RE, ER UH, GONNA HAVE TO GO THROUGH…. TED KENNEDY!

Behind Barrack Obama Ted Kennedy breaks out from the back and slams a steel chair against Barrack Obama’s head!

COMMENTATOR: BARRACK OBAMA IS GIVING TEDDY KENNEDY THE BARRACK-O-BUSTER!!!!!! AND THE OBAMANATION IS GOING INSANE!!!

WICKED AWESOME VOICE OVER: GENERAL MANAGER MODE!

Kids are playing the game with over-the-top excitement.

KID 1: WHOOOAAAA! IKE EISENHOWER’S GOING TO IMPOSE A 10% TAX ON TAFT’S #1 CONTENDERSHIP!!

KID 2: NIXON STOLE THE BELT!

A shot of computer generated Richard Nixon lifting both his arms into the air with peace signs, with a title belt draped over his shoulder.

RICHARD NIXON: I am NOT a crook!

WICKED AWESOME VOICE OVER: Free Play Mode!

COMPUTER GENERATED ABRAHAM LINCOLN: Fourscore and I'm gonna BEAT YOUR ASS!

WICKED AWESOME VOICEOVER: That’s right! The Presidents of Wrestling is available now on PS4! Buy it now and get exclusive customizable costumes for your favorite presidents! THE PRESIDENTS OF WRESTLING! OWN IT NOW, and OWN history!!!!

Wicked awesome guitar fades!

RATED E for EVERYONE.

PLAYSTATION.