9 Signs You Are Living for Yourself

9 Signs You Are Living for Yourself

1. You Feel Inner Peace and Contentment
2. You Make Decisions Based on Your Own Values
3. You Have Clear Personal Goals
4. You're able to say "No"
5. You Spend Time Cultivating Your Interests and Hobbies
6. You Prioritize Your Physical and Mental Health
7. You Have a Supportive Network
8. You Accept Your Imperfections
9. You Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others

Most people are born into a life of conforming to societal expectations, gradually forgetting to live for themselves.

I have lways believed in the saying, "If a man does not think of himself, heaven and earth will destroy him." From birth, we have the right to live for ourselves and to make decisions for our own lives, rather than dedicating our lives to things we don't want to do or people we don't want to be with.

When you start living for yourself, you can sense this change happening. Here are nine signs that indicate you are truly living for yourself:

1. You Feel Inner Peace and Contentment

When you begin to live for yourself, you will no longer feel the immense anxiety and pressure brought on by others' expectations. You will prioritize your own thoughts and feelings. You will recognize that others' expectations are holding you hostage.

You will stop doing things you don't want to do or making decisions against your will just to please others. This is when you become your true self because your mind is clear about what you genuinely want. Your desires will always come first, and you will no longer ignore your own ideas.

You will be satisfied with accepting your own imperfections and will not fall into anxiety over others' remarks. You will understand that you are yourself now, and changing yourself based on others' words will only make you someone else.

It's worth mentioning, for example, in the context of weight loss. If someone says you're fat and you choose to lose weight because of it, that's similar to conforming to others. But if you decide to lose weight because you want to become a better version of yourself, then you are living for yourself.

The key difference is that one is losing weight due to others' comments and expectations, ultimately gaining their approval but changing because of them. The other is losing weight based on your own inner thoughts and feelings, aiming to meet a better version of yourself, which is truly living for yourself.

2. You Make Decisions Based on Your Own Values

In today's society, there's a phenomenon where people tend to follow the values accepted by the majority, a behavior known as "herd mentality." Another similar phenomenon is called moral compromise. The difference between the two lies in whether people are aware of the significance of the values they follow.

Herd mentality involves following others' values, even if those values are negative or harmful.

Moral compromise means knowingly following values that are unethical or harmful because others do so.

Both phenomena share a common factor: conforming to societal values due to social pressure, fear of rejection, or lack of personal value judgment.

I understand how people feel. Being the odd one out in a group can lead to rejection and the sense of not fitting in, so many choose to blindly follow others to avoid exclusion. This is quite normal, as humans are inherently social creatures. When a social creature is ostracized by its peers, it feels panic and anxiety.

I used to be like that, following others' values regardless of whether they were good or bad, because I knew that choosing the opposite would lead to rejection. Then, I witnessed a different side of life. I saw someone I admired living for themselves, adhering to their own values, and finding a group of like-minded friends. At that moment, something inside me changed. I started following my own correct values and stopped blindly adhering to others' values. Although I have yet to find friends who share my values, I believe I will in the future. Even if I don't, I will still choose to stick to my own values, because this is who I am.

3. You Have Clear Personal Goals

Having clear personal goals means you know what you want to achieve and have a clear plan on how to achieve it. However, having clear personal goals doesn't necessarily mean you are living for yourself.

When you start setting your goals, ask yourself: Is this goal truly what you want? Or are you making it your goal because others think you should? Or do you believe it should be your goal because of societal expectations?

Everyone's goals are different, and I don't have the right to tell you what your goals should be. But I do want to ask: Is your current goal genuinely what you want deep down inside?

Your goals should not only aim for external success but also fulfill your inner needs and desires. These goals could include career development, academic achievements, a healthy lifestyle, or the pursuit of personal interests and hobbies.

4. You're able to say "No"

Learning to say "no" is a way of being responsible for yourself. When faced with things you don't want to do, you can decisively refuse rather than forcing yourself to meet others' expectations. This shows that you respect your own time and energy and won't easily succumb to external pressure. By saying "no," you can free up more time and space for truly important things and focus on achieving your own goals and desires.

Moreover, when it comes to matters that concern your safety and well-being, it's crucial to clearly and loudly say "no." This behavior is neither shameful nor embarrassing; it's about taking responsibility for your own life. Being overly concerned with saving face makes it difficult to live for yourself. When you feel something goes against your will or you don't want to do it, you must bravely say "no."

Therefore, when you truly and loudly say "no" based on your inner feelings, it means you are living for yourself.

5. You Spend Time Cultivating Your Interests and Hobbies

People who live for themselves invest time in doing things they love, whether it's art, sports, or other hobbies. These activities not only bring you joy but also provide a sense of inner fulfillment. You actively seek opportunities to engage in these activities, enjoying the pleasure and sense of accomplishment they bring. For example, if you love painting, you might regularly attend painting classes or set up a dedicated creative space at home to express your emotions and ideas through art.

6. You Prioritize Your Physical and Mental Health

Physical and mental health are essential for living a fulfilling life. Without these, it’s difficult to enjoy life to its fullest; you don't want to live in constant pain or distress. If you are truly living for yourself, both aspects of health cannot be neglected. Physical and mental well-being are fundamental to living for yourself. You take the time to care for your body and mind, maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and mental self-care are integral parts of your life. For instance, you might engage in 30 minutes of exercise daily, ensure you get 8 hours of sleep each night, and practice meditation or relaxation techniques regularly to alleviate stress and enhance mental health.

7. You Have a Supportive Network

People who live for themselves eventually find others who understand their thoughts and perspectives. While there might be disagreements in your interactions with these individuals, they try to understand you rather than outright dismissing your ideas.

As mentioned earlier, not blindly following others' values leads you to naturally encounter people who resonate with your inner values. These like-minded individuals gradually gather around you because they share similar values, and you attract them without even realizing it.

Additionally, you'll have a group of people who understand and support you. These individuals—family, friends, colleagues, or mentors—will offer help and encouragement when you need it. They comprehend your values and goals and are willing to provide support and advice as you pursue your dreams. By establishing deep and genuine relationships with these people, you gain more strength and confidence to face life's challenges.

8. You Accept Your Imperfections

Do you have many imperfections? Do you resent them?

The truth is, everyone has some degree and type of imperfections. The key is not to resent or ignore them. Resentment will only lead to self-loathing, and living for yourself means fulfilling your inner needs. Hating yourself does not fulfill your inner needs. Ignoring your imperfections isn't a solution either. Even if others don’t point them out, when you see qualities in others that you lack and you won't be able to ignore your imperfections., possibly feeling stronger resentment and jealousy. This is human nature and unavoidable.

Learning to accept your imperfections is the ultimate solution. Only by understanding and accepting them can you truly be unaffected by them.

Accepting your imperfections is a significant aspect of living for yourself. You can calmly acknowledge your flaws and shortcomings without being overly critical of yourself. You understand that everyone has imperfections, and this doesn’t diminish your self-worth or love for yourself. By accepting your imperfections, you can face yourself more honestly, without the pressure and anxiety of striving for perfection. You focus on your progress and growth rather than an unattainable ideal of perfection.

When you can face your imperfections, and if they are aspects you can change and improve upon with a positive mindset, not out of resentment, then you are living for yourself. A positive mindset shows you have accepted your imperfections and want to improve yourself out of genuine self-love and desire to be better.

9. You Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others

People who live for themselves don’t compare their achievements and lives to others; they focus on their own progress and goals. You understand that everyone has a unique life path and pace, and you respect and accept your own uniqueness. By avoiding comparisons with others, you can focus more on your own goals and desires, without feeling inferior or anxious about others' successes. You recognize your own value and potential, confidently pursuing your own path to success and happiness.

You realize that spending limited time and energy comparing yourself to others is less important than focusing on your own feelings, achievements, learning paths, goals, and everything else that is personal to you. By putting yourself first, you truly live for yourself.

Last Thoughts

By focusing on your inner needs and values, you can find true happiness and fulfillment. In living this way, you not only achieve self-realization but also bring a positive impact to those around you.

I hope you can live for yourself and be your true self.

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