When darkness Falls

It was dark still as she opened her eyes. She groaned as she placed her feet on the ground. She looked out the window and sighed. "What fresh hell will this day bring?" She toyed with the idea of climbing back into bed and shutting the world away for just a bit longer, but duty called as the rooster started to crow. So, reluctantly she marched out of the room to begin her day.

As she sat there on the toilet taking her everlasting morning piss, she ran thru the list of things she knew she had to do. It was a busy day on the farm and there was much to be done. She brushed her teeth and got dressed in her jeans and flannel and headed towards the kitchen for coffee. She stood there at the sink watching the sun rise as she drank. She wasn't hungry yet, but it was rare she was these days. She wondered to herself how much trouble the new bull was going to give her. Some days she wondered if this life was really hers, what she really wanted. "Is this really what you want for yourself? Are you sure that you're happy?" She knew immediately the answer was yes to both of those questions, how could it not be.

To the outside world it couldn't have been a more perfect image of a happy life, but inside she struggled with a demon she could not hold back much longer. Daily the dark creature protruded its way into her mind, in every way. She was running short on ways to keep the monster at bay. Simply just to survive the day was a feat in itself. Captive in her own mind. Threatened with every move. She felt the pull of this creature as she woke more and more. Unsure of which direction her mind would go, she often walked on eggshells just to pass the moment. But she knew if she succumbed to the darkness it would over take her so quick. So she pulled her hair up, put her boots on and headed out the door to start her day.

She gazed over the hills as the sun began to break the horizon. Peaceful, happy, calm. But for how long she wondered? It was always in the back of her mind like a razor under the tongue, waiting to strike. She begged herself " Not today please..." as she wandered up the yard to the barn. The grass gently swaying in the light spring breeze. It was already a better day than the night before. The nights always leave her in shambles, some days more than others, but the day was always found new. As the first morning sun touched her face, the warmth ever so welcome, she let out a small chuckle and a quick smile. "A new day" she said, "with great respect, I thank you for allowing me another shot at normalcy." She could feel her gods looking upon her as she made way to the chickens. Today was the day she planned to sacrifice her most plump chicken to her gods in favor that they might take her demon away. She didn't understand. She wasn't sure she ever would. She knew that she stood no chance if the gods did not accept her sacrifice.

As she opened the door to the chicken house, she tripped over the ledge. Mumbling she picks herself up.."gaaahhh pick up your feet next time". Sheesh, she was such a klutz sometimes. She picked up her basket and got ready to collect the eggs. When she opened the gate, she saw 2 chickens to be the fattest of them all, so she thought she would sacrifice them both. Now catching chickens was not her forte, but this time she was determined to catch them herself. So away she went, as she scooped up the first fat hen with some ease, she was sure the second would be easier. She, however could not have been more wrong. She banged her head several times and tripped over a dozen chicks before she finally caught her second hen. She was more than willing to sacrifice them both now. She moved about the pen gathering the eggs and shooing the chickens outside. She began to lay out the new bedding and the scratch for them to find, as she did she heard a whisper.." sacrifice your mind, before your soul is mine"... she looked around, hoping she did not just imagine that. "Hello" she called out. She thought to herself.." Don't lose it now Miranda, it's only the beginning of the day." She shrugged it off and continued on about her business. When she was finished with the chickens, she felt a rumble in her stomach that warned her of what was about to happen. As she made way towards the house, she thought about what she would eat for breakfast.

She tossed her boots off, and headed towards the kitchen to see what she could find to eat. As she passed the mirror in the hallway, the shattered glass reminded her so much of her soul, that's why it hangs for all to see. A metaphor only she understood. She reached the cabinets and pulled out a bowl, she contemplated just eating cereal, but that wasn't what her mind was hungry for. She reached for the strawberries and the milk, but what was her idea behind it? As she looted her cabinets in search of something desirable to put with the strawberries, she came across a food she once loved. Classic oatmeal. You can never go wrong with that.

She sat there at the table, bowl and strawberries ready, prepared. Prepared for the inevitable that was to come as the day grew later. Before she became succumbed to the rotten core of her mind, she had more to get done. Food to prep for the ritual, spaces to prepare, cleansing that needed to be done. So many tasks and not enough hours between sunrise and darkness falling. The air began to feel heavy around her, and she knew what was happening. "Not yet!" she screamed, as the shriek's swirled in her head. "Your soul is mine".. she cringed as the voice screamed at her. The space between her ears was shrinking from the madness as she tried to shake the feeling.

She gathered herself once more before she took on another of her daily tasks. Secretly she wished she could tell someone what was going on, but for fear of being forced into a straight jacket she chose to keep it to herself. As she prepared to dress the chickens she gathered, she stared blankly into the abyss hoping for some shred of normalcy. But what was normal she asked? Is it living a mundane life with no adventure? At least she had adventure, even if it wasn't a grand adventure. She knew no one's life was as twisted with adventure like hers and I think she admired that. When she was finished gazing into the silence, she rushed to put her boots back on, as the chickens wouldn't dress themselves. She hated that part tho, the death, even of a chicken was sometimes too much for her already fragile mind. The voices were no friend to her, but she had to hold on for just a while longer.

As she approached the chopping block where she left the hatchet and chickens, she could hear the voices chanting. Miranda shut her eyes and breathed deep as she plucked her first victim down on the block. I'm not ready she said calmly to herself. She didn't want too as she swung. It was like a frenzy when the blood pooled, a thirst so deep she almost couldn't help herself. Why was this happening right now? Why is this my life? Answers she didn't have were needed and no one was left to help her get them. If only she had a moment to speak to her mother. She let out a long sigh as she gathers the freshly split chicken with tears in her eyes.

She decided before she would dress the other chicken, to go meander to see the new bull she purchased. He was a big bull, broad shoulders. Plenty to last her through the winter she thought. It wasn't her idea to get the bull as she wasn't huge on eating cow to begin with, but it offered her some peace of mind to know that by winter she would have plenty to survive on. As she approached the field where the bull was kept, she spotted something peaking at her from the edge of the woods. It couldn't be, have the gods heard her cries finally? Did they send her saving grace or was she really losing her mind now? She tried not to stare for fear of being coaxed out of her comfort zone. She watched the shadow move diligently between her and the woods. She wanted to turn and run, but something kept her stuck. Something about that shadow called out to her. She had no idea why, or even what that thing could want from her. She just knew she wanted it gone.

She shook off the feeling of being watched and remembered what she came out here for. As she followed the bull with her eyes, she thought to herself "why must I be tortured so?" It really isn't torture. She had no idea the changes she was about to go through to get what she wanted, but she was sure it couldn't be any worse than what she has already been through. She continued to gather the feed for the bull and clean up the pen a bit before she had to head back to the house to cleanse for the ritual. It wasn't long before she realized the hours had dwindled away and now it was time to go set up. As she headed past the barn, her wood pile caught her attention as it appeared that someone else had cut all her firewood. She let out a small smile, for she knew who it was. Such a kind act she thought to herself.

She made way to a small fire pit nearby to stack the wood needed for the ritual. She arranged the logs and the kindling in such a manner you would think she was hunting for perfection. "There"..she said, "The gods are sure to be happy with this." She moved along towards the house, when suddenly she heard the familiar caw of the second chicken she wanted to sacrifice. "Dammit" she exhaled as she went to the chopping block. She stood there looking at the poor helpless chicken and decided its fate was coming later. So she headed back for the house to start the cleansing, not just for her but also her house, as not to invite unwanted guests into the ritual. She dug through the bottom drawer in her desk to find some sage, salt and palo santo. She had enough of the sage and the palo santo to smoke out the whole town she thought. Her idea was to burn some in the house and the fire pit. She was hoping that her thinking would be correct if she burnt it in the fire pit. She had made sure in the previous days that her stones and chakras were clear, but she often wondered if the demon she sought to evict was keeping her from such things. No matter, she had her mind set on this working. She began lighting the sage and santos in different areas of the house as she whispered to her gods, " Keep my spirit right and my mind free, Blessed be. Blessed be."

When she was finished, she headed upstairs to the only bathroom in the house that had an original claw-foot tub. As she was drawing the water she made sure to add her rose water, the obsidian stones and the dragons blood. For this she was sure it would work. As she sank into the tub she made sure to give thanks to Poseidon for allowing her access to clean her physical body of the days impurities she may have picked up. "Its an honor to be in your presence", she spoke softly as she sank deeper and deeper into the tub. She closed her eyes as she sank deep enough to cover her head. She laid there in the tub until the water got cold, deeply she believed this was going to work.

She had prepared her ritual outfit the night before as she feared she wouldn't have time today, with all the beheadings of chickens and things. Miranda knew she loved herself a little more by just this simple gesture. Her outfit was simple yet she hoped it was appeasing to the gods.