We Hang in the Balance

My life goes on even though Dennis is gone. I lost him to the worst flu epidemic in the history of the world. It began in November 2047 right after the bombs were dropped and had wiped out half the world population by the spring of 2049. Dennis got sick in August 2049 and I lost him 6 weeks later. Now it is March 2050 and I don’t know where to begin.

Most stores have shut down or gone out of business. I have gone back to sewing and mending my own clothes. Two months ago, when the electricity disappeared, I started sewing by hand. I quickly realized how dependent we had become upon all things electric. None of those items were important now as they stood like dead soldiers in every corner of the world. Those of us who saw this change coming stored food and water supplies, batteries and other necessities as if we were squirrels preparing for winter.

There is no more use for electric appliances, telephones, airplanes, computers or cell phones. I am visiting the farm down the road this afternoon to look at some horses to be able to get to my daughter’s house across town and back. Horse and buggies have grown predominant. I have very little money left so I offer my services in barter to the farmer. The almighty dollar has gone by the wayside and now trading has become the way of the world. A very outdated but rather simple solution. If you need something, you find someone who needs something you have.

I can sew, cook, tend to children or work in the yard. I work a deal with the farmer to make him dinner twice a week. He will provide the meat from his farm animals which he has had to stay up nights to protect from rustlers as if in an old wild west movie. I will prepare the meals for him and he will allow me to take home leftovers. A good barter for both of us. He lost his wife about the same time I lost Dennis. We walk out to the barn and I choose a very pretty but sturdy dark brown horse. She should be good for transportation for a while. I ride her for several miles to my daughter’s house.

Maureen is not home when I get there but I see that she has been tending to her vegetable garden. There are small piles of dirt near the entrance to the garden where she has been digging up flowers to put vegetables in their place. Flower gardens are becoming a thing of the past as vegetables now take their place in priority. Now I am thinking I should start growing vegetables also. I can eat what I can, store some and sell the rest or use them for barter. I leave a note for my daughter and start back home again.

All the abandoned cars on the road make travel a little difficult, even on a horse. I am hoping our new government or what’s left of it will figure out a way to clean up the mess. Our President was taken by the flu about 7 months ago and more than half of the senators and house are also gone, either from the bombs or the flu. The man who was the Vice President has taken over presidential duties and is trying to put some order back into our portion of the world. He has requested that the remaining military members help to clear the roadways and set up details to remove the dead. People did not get up out of their beds as they were dying to make arrangements for themselves. They died where they fell. Those without families to look after them still lay where they fell until they can be buried. Children without parents, wives without husbands. The world is a very scary and sad place right now.

Mass graves have been made at the edge of town and they are getting filled up very fast. Men are working round the clock to dig and bury. They will have to find another place for new graves. Looting was a very large problem right after the electricity went out, but vigilantes shooting people seems to have settled that issue. Man of the looters still lay in the street where they were gunned down. A lot of the buildings, apartment houses, hospitals and stores were burned to the ground during the looting days. The buildings that are still standing are being used as housing for the displaced and homeless and the hospitals are full of sick and dying people.

Our law enforcement agencies have pretty much given up due to the number of people fighting their own battles. People are dying in the street over little things. The people with guns seem to be running everything now. If you want to feel safe, you stay inside as much as possible as the streets are running rampant with thieves and murderers.

Churches don’t exist anymore as even most Christians have given up. Religion has become obsolete and those people who still worship, do so at home. Those that do hide from those that don’t so as to not present a reason for a holy war. Anything is possible these days as the entire world seems to have gone mad.

Just four short years ago, I was an accountant with a husband who was a very successful realtor. We lived in a sprawling one-story ranch house on the edge of town. We had a pool in the backyard, food in the pantry and a TV in almost every room. Two beautiful daughters, Patti, who we lost to the flu shortly before Dennis got sick and Maureen still lives near me on the other side of town. She remains constantly busy with her duties as a nurse. I lost both my grandsons at the same time I lost my Patti. Her husband was gone for months by the time she caught the flu. Maureen’s husband died about the time as Patti. Funerals didn’t happen. There were no teary ceremonies where you said goodbye. The bodies were simply moved to the mass graves or burned on extremely oversized funeral pyres.

When I get home, I realize it’s been a long time since I rode a horse and my wobbly legs are feeling it. I put the horse in the garage so she won’t be stolen to be used for food. My home is no longer a home but a shell where I exist.

So, this is my life now. Did it have to be this way? We could have changed the future, couldn’t we?