Vampire Hunter D

Vampire Hunter D is a 1985 anime based on a novel that I initially assumed was a manga but turns out to be just a novel. (The manga came later.) It combines elements of Westerns, sci-fi, and gothic horror to tell a post-apocalyptic tale of a future Earth after a nuclear holocaust. In this world, mutants roam freely, and humanity struggles to rebuild after being ruled by "Nobles"—who are, naturally, vampires. I think I’ve got this right.

The story centers on a character with the unlikely name of Doris Lang, who is bitten by a vampire named Count Magnus Lee. Count Lee is 500 years old, and Doris, quite obviously, is not overly fond of him. To free herself from the curse of vampirism and the impending horror of a living death, Doris hires the mysterious “D.” D is an angular, pointy-chinned, cowboy-esque character who, for some reason, vaguely reminds me of something from a Jodorowsky movie.

D spends part of the film pleading with Doris’ father and the mayor of her weird, anachronistic hamlet not to send Doris to the local vampire concentration camp—which, let me tell you, is a real sty. But before this even happens, Doris has a little tête-à-tête with Greco Rohman, a kind of blonde, shitheel lothario who wants Doris something awful and is willing to do anything to get her. He’s the mayor’s son, so you just know his arrogance is powered by heaps of Mayor’s Son Privilege handed to him on a silver platter his whole “I’m straight from the bottom of a bottle of ink” life.

Greco is fascinatingly obnoxious, but I still managed to confuse him, at times, with Rei Ginsei—a time-bending (or reality-bending, or something) helper to the Count. Rei Ginsei, a much more fitting anime name than Doris Lang, is in cahoots with the Count’s daughter, who is an insufferable, arrogant little terror. Her shrill, imperious attitude and high-pitched vocalizations make you want to scrape her off the screen if such a thing were possible. Alas, she’s here to suck blood, be a bitch, and chew bubble gum. (And you know how that ends!)

The animation in this anime is good—though perhaps not as fluid as contemporaries like Akira or Robot Carnival. The art is visually energetic, featuring the de rigueur anime backgrounds rushing past as characters leap toward each other, brandishing weapons and wreaking havoc. While this may have been impressive in 1985, today it feels visually quaint or even a little undernourished. There’s blood, boobs, and mutants here—it’s not a kids’ picture—but it still has the vibe of an average Saturday morning Dragon Ball Z episode (which I often humorously call "Dragon Balls"). As much as I’m starting to love this genre, I can’t escape the feeling that much of it is extremely redundant.

D—er, “Vampire Hunter D”—is a dark, mysterious, brooding character, and that’s a definite plus. Even better is the fact that the palm of his black, Dhampir hand is a creepy Edward Mordake-like face (except, of course, it’s in the palm of his hand). It’s unsettling, made even creepier by the fact that I just finished watching the second season’s first episode of Monsters, my favorite Eighties horror anthology program. In that episode, Imogene Coca becomes a talking face in the palm of a killer’s hand after being murdered by a couple of Southern white-trash galoots. (Also, side note: the original cover of Alice Cooper’s 1987 album Raise Your Fist and Yell features a screaming face in the palm of a hand. I’ve heard that album 145 million times since high school, and it just keeps getting better.)

In the end, D rides off into the sunset. He couldn’t very well ride off into the sunrise, could he? He’s half-vampire. Let that sink in. Just… LET IT SINK IN. Like a couple of fangs in your neck.

In closing, I’d like to say I’m waiting for the adult version of this film to be made, which, by the by, already features a great animated tit shot. Call it: Vampire Hunter Double D.

Pomp-ching!

Vampire Hunter D (1985)

My book: Cult Films and Midnight Movies: From High Art to Low Trash Volume 1

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