The Phone Needs You

11:30 PM, you are in bed early. I see you have slowly snoozed your way into a deep hollow fantasy filled dream. Your silk pillow catching your thoughts and messages. With a stern expression on your face, I can tell you needed rest. Your breaths are heavy and exasperate your tiredness. After a few hours, you toss and turn. I however remain in the same spot. Keeping a careful eye on you. At around 5:00PM you wake up. Your eyes open and come to life. I can see you are confused, but like usual you make hast. I am tapped by your finger and display a screen to inform you of the time. After, I reveal to you the weather, daily news, and overall plan for how your day should go. I update you of any missed calls during your groggy rest and prompt you to be irritated by missed late night emails. I am preparing your brain for this wonderful day. The journey begins with me and it never ends. For this, I am thankful. Even while you sleep, I am keeping track and guard of your messages and ideas. I keep a clear concise record of your interactions and am there to witness your innermost emotions.

I smile as you press my buttons to play music. I will accompany you to the shower. I am placed on the sink counter while you prepare for the long day ahead of you. While you lather up with the sounds of the 4 4ths rhythm I hiccup a message interrupting your schedule. It’s your job and they want to know if you can stay late again for the monthly project. I start to feel the agitation not from the notification but from the fact that I have not started playing the music again. Personally, I feel that the message is important and cannot be ignored. The water is turned off and I can see your silhouette through the steam. You check the message and give a long pause to me. You may not know it but you are staring me in the eyes. Not lovingly how I would like. Your expressions change from surprised, to unbelievable, to absolutely nothing. You take me to the bedroom and I get a little anxious. As you plop yourself on the edge of a bed that is more like a pitstop, you look at me and cry. This crying is one of defeat. Complete sadness from an individual who is about to be late to work. These tears seem dull, overwhelmed, and futile. I am suddenly thrown over to the corner. My sleek edges traumatized. I get nervous and feel threatened. As a result, I play a random song selection hoping to calm you down. The crying continues and I am so confused.

This is not what I had in mind for a one on one session. I want to be held. I want you to look into my eyes and slowly stroke me as I reveal to you the top-notch stories on social media. I want carefully timed laughs and looks of interest from ads I perfectly picked for you. I want to feel used by you engaging consistently with your family and peers. I want to look up and see you hooked on the repetition of a 2d game. I want your focus. I want your emotion of dread when you see that I need to be fed sparks of electrons in order to stay awake. Fondle in order to find directions to the new restaurant downtown. Let me see your hunger as you order an overpriced pizza for the 3rd night in a row. Give me your best moments. As you concentrate on taking the best picture at your brother's graduation, you completely disregard his presence. Store all of your memories into me. That cousin's wedding, that friend's birthday, that gorgeous Tahiti vacation. I need you to need me. Even at that funeral where you kept checking the time. I felt indestructible. I felt like I had all of your loyalty. I know all your thoughts, goals, and secrets. I know how you feel about that co-worker. I know what you eat during the weekend. I know what time you typically leave the house and what time you sleep. I not only see you but I will always remember you. I have the numbers, the amount of hours add up to days and years that you use me. However, please understand you need me. In the event of catastrophe, you will need me to call for help. Others may use me to identify who you are, as you lay unconscious in a hospital bed. Your last breaths might even be conveyed through me. A message, a voicemail, even a video. I am not just an extension of you, I am you. While I see you you see your world through me. I am specifically fashioned to your tastes. Color, upgrades, and functions mimic how you want me to portray you. I would like to say I am your conscience or hope to be someday. We live through each other. So wipe those tears. Adjust your posture and get off that bed. There is so much waiting for us. Pick me up to check the time. We both know you only have time to get dressed and head out. Do not make matters worse. Use me. I am with you every step of the way. I see you come to realize that you need this job and being late is not the way to keep it. You block those horrid ideas of separating yourself from your routine. You reach out to me. That longing reach of necessity. You set a few alarms and get dressed. I am relieved and content. I see you have slowly snoozed your way into a deep hollow fantasy filled dream.