The box

Alaya N.M Fuller

Fed. 13 2020

The Box

Ch.1

Thirteen minutes, it's been thirteen minutes of the most mind numbingly asinine chatter about a football sized dog. One of the dumbest conversations ever.

“Oh Chet, look at it sit!”

“Oh Chet look at it spin.”

“Isn't it so cute Chet.”

No, no for the love of god I’d rather watch a never ending marathon of ‘The Family's Men.’ than this. Anything, anything other than watching a dog spin in circles like an oscillating fan. Glancing over my shoulder from my slumped position on the plastic covered couch I noticed Betty was looking at me with an apologetic half smile. An expression that said, ‘Chet it’s only for another hour, we’re gonna leave soon.’ I snorted in response to her unspoken plea. Slumping in on myself more as I watched the bugged eyed thing slobber all over a large flower printed rug. I'll sit here for her; listen to this idiotic chatter, and eat food I’ll never love all for her. But by god I was going insane!

“You look ready to live in a trash can on Alphabet street.” She snickered, head resting on my shoulder. I sighed, her parents could drive a tree to suicide but she was the most calm and passionate person. I tilted my head back, brown eyes to her green.

“You are the only reason I haven’t lied and hid in the car all night.” She snorted, leaning in to give me a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Well I’m happy you didn't, then I'd have to listen to dad’s football stories all by myself.” I sighed, “Yeah those always keep me from falling asleep.” I cackled sarcastically. Smiling when she laughed, light and airy. A laugh I’ll never get tired of.

"When do you think they’ll get tired and let us go.” I dropped back dramatically, not worried that my antics will be seen. Her mom was too enthralled by the small puppy. Arm thrown over my eyes I sighed deeply,

“Ooh my love, for I think we are trapped.” I threw my arms up, eyes wide. “For we have fallen inside the maze of old baby pictures and hard candies.” She gasped, hands on my chest as I dropped my head to the side.

“No my love we mustn't give into the hard candies and old embarrassing baby stories.” I had to bite the inside of my cheek to not laugh, turning slowly I took her hands in mine. Voice low and strained.

“But you see my love I am lost, for the bath time sudsy bunnies have destroyed my will to leave.” Being the goofy girlfriend that I so adored, she feigned a swoon, hand over her eyes and fake weeping at the loss of her bunny sick lover. I choked, covering my mouth so I didn’t start laughing like a buffoon.

“Who wants to play charades!” Her dad called from the conjoined kitchen. I jumped up, face as straight as possible.

“My gosh! I forgot that me and your lovely daughter must work in the morning.” I looked down, eyes wide just enough to show her how much I hated the idea of staying to play games. She bit her lip, sucking in breath before standing just as rigid as I am.

“Oh yes, mom dad it must have slipped my mind because of how much fun we are having. But we must make haste- I mean leave because of…”

“Work.” I whispered, giving my best smile to her mother.

“Yes work! We have work.”

“Oh well if you have work then you should get home and get some sleep.” Her mother said, moving to pick up the still hyperactive puppy. I nodded, moving with renewed vigor to grab our coats and shoes

“Yeah, well y'all need to come back over another time.” Her dad said, coming over to hug us both goodbye. I nodded, waving at them both once we got to the car.

It was a good five minutes into the car ride before we both bursted into uncontrollable laughter.

“You're such a nerd.” I snorted, side eyeing her at the red light.

“Yeah yeah, saying the D&D guild master.” She smirked, leaning back in the seat as the light turned green.

“Still a nerd.” I faked huffed, she puffed out her cheeks.

“You're a nerd.”

I chuckled, “Your nerd.”

Ch.2

So I don’t think I ordered a creepy all black box but here it is. Sitting on my front porch like it's meant to be there with my other normal non scary mail. So I did the only manly thing to do in this kind of situation.

“Betty!”

She came over from the living room, making the same disturbed face I made when I first opened the door.

“Do you think someone's pranking us?” I shrugged, that could be what this is but then again it could be someone's idea of some weird social experiment.

“I could put it on the curb.” She nodded, back into the house.

“Yeah, I don’t like it. Feels….strange.” Shaking out my shoulders I hyped myself up to run this thing to the curb. But as I reached down for the box the home phone rang. Jumping almost a foot into the air I misstepped trying to catch my balance. Pitching forward only to tumbled down the wood steps.

“Galactical warfare!” I screeched, landing in a heap like an uncoordinated cat. Betty, the loving girlfriend that she is, only laughed a little bit briefly before getting the phone. I groaned, ‘the hell did I say Galactic- aha whatever.’ I sat up, my back protesting the movement too soon.

“It's just John!” She called, I rolled my eyes so hard I almost went blind. Standing up I rushed into the house, yelling into the living room so he could hear me.

“John if I need fucking hip surgery I’m taking the bill from your check!” Betty laughed, phone held out and on speaker. Johns snickering coming through the line had me glaring at it like I could light him on fire through the phone.

“Good morning to you too.”

“I’ll fight you.” I huffed, I still smiled though. Rubbing my lower back I grumbled to myself as I got my shoes. Betty put the phone back to her ear, walking over to hug my side. I scrunched up my nose at her, having to prepare to take the stupid box to the curb. Not wanting to have the box close to my house any longer. I snatched the thing up, walking briskly in my pj pants and bunny slippers, ‘at me they're soft….and the only ones close to the door.’

Tossing the box into the trash bin I stopped. A printed label was stuck to the lower side of the box. It was a thin gold slip with black tiny letters on it. I had to squint to look at it, scrunching my nose at the trash smell. “From: D. Man” Wow that’s a lame prank. Looking around I noticed some teens standing on the sidewalk. They were looking my way, snickering to themselves. Nodding I flicked the large crotch goblins off and walked back inside. ‘Little dicks can take that glitter bomb and shove it-’

“You get rid of it. I kicked the slippers off, using my hip to close the door.

“Yeah, some kids probably filled the thing with glitter.” She hummed, moving back to go about whatever she had been doing. Satisfied with my work I dropped into the couch, ‘now for reward cookies.’

….

It was late that night that I wish I had tossed the stupid thing in the street. As a knock at the door caused us to pause our movie.

“Not it!” Betty yelled, almost spilling the popcorn. I turned slowly, face of mock disgust.

“Child-” I had to stop the onslaught of laughter to open the door though. I hadn’t thought anything of it, maybe some Jehovah's Witnesses? So I opened the door fast.

“No I don’t want nothing-...ummm?” It took like ten seconds, like literally ten seconds for me to realize that no one was at the door but that stupid. Black. Box! “BETTY!”

“My god wh-” Then she saw it. Shaking her head quickly she stepped back, arms making ‘x’ movements. “Nope, nope get rid of it. You said you got rid of it.”

“I did!”

“But it's right there!” She screamed, eyes darting from the box to me then back to the box. I stuttered; looking from the box, to the street, to the box, and back to Betty. Fickling my arms in wild exasperation.

“Ok ok I got this.” ‘If this is some prank I swear.’ Snatching it up I booked it to the curb barefoot. Throwing the trash can open, I stuffed the thing inside.

“Run Chet!” Whipping my head back and forth looking for whatever, I almost fell running back to the house.

“What! What was it?”

“Nothing I just didn’t want you out there for too long.” Sighing deeply, I moved quickly back to the couch. Hopping onto the couch, I peeked out the curtains. Betty came up beside me, only our faces visible from the window.

“What are you doing?” She watched as I tapped repeatedly on the glass.

“Watching that thing. If someone comes up and takes it then we know that it was a prank.”

“And if someone doesn't?” I looked over, her eyes wide as she held back a smile.

“Then we leave the city Betty.” She snorted, going back to looking out the window.

Ch.3

I love falling asleep with Betty, she always looks so cute all curled up under the blankets. Sighing I stretched my back popping as I rolled out my shoulders. We had half watched the trash can and the movie the rest of the night. Shrugging off the grogginess I walked into the kitchen hunting for coffee. Moving past the kitchen table only for a small black box to stop me cold in my tracks. Turning slowly my sight proved 20/20 once again. ‘Ok, ok don’t freak out you're a grown man.’

“BETTY!”

….

The thing was open on the table, Betty standing in the doorway with a broom aimed at a half open box. I was stuck in the middle of the cursed place, hoping to any god that no alien wanting to suck out my brains jumped out of the thing. Hopping from foot to foot I looked to the kitchen patio door and Betty.

“Help me!”

“How! just ...just throw it outside.” I looked at her like she had grown a second head.

“It's OPEN! I ain’t touching it.” I was still fighting with myself when Betty just lunged, hitting the box so hard that it flew and hit the top cabinet. It was dead silent as we watched it tumble down the counter and spill a shit ton of money everywhere. I looked at Betty, she looked at me. “Before I check that money,” I glared at the box. “Hit it one more time.”

Ok so it turns out that the box just had 20k and a small black notebook. Betty and I swept the house just in case but nothing was out of place, and the doors and windows were all locked.

“Ok, so this D. Man guy gave us this because of what.” Betty was sitting pushing the money around, I dropped the notebook on the table.

“Say’s he made a wish and that this was a random chance, once the box and its context is opened and taken the box’ll disappear... and that's it.” She moved to take the notebook when the box started shaking, jumping up I grabbed the closest thing to me, a half empty coffee cup.

We watched as the box shook and rocked before poofing away. Betty dropped the broom, looking at me, “Umm, do you want to buy a puppy.”