The Black Book Womb of No-Thing

Black Book Womb of No-Thing

My throbbing head in my hands... one horse in necropsy the other in urgent care.

What did we miss? WHAT DID WE MISS?!

“This simply hasn’t been seen before” the surgeons words haunt me.

How can this be?

I do all that can be done in these times of chaos I WRITE.

Opening every grimoire I realize there is one more to pull out ... the original...

I rip apart my book shelf casting aside my beloved antiques, bones with other odds & ends one finds seeking the truth. My the little meaning of things when real magic needs to be summoned.

I open the book quivering quill dipped in crimson ink & humbly beg for the power for my first miraculous resurrection of the horse being transported home to be put in the ground.

The hole prepared for her resting place we will use as the start of a well or something, anything ANYTHING but her grave! THIS CANNOT BE! I beg the infinite PLEASE

Please let Sherman live… I call out begging to an unknown source.

I COMMAND SHERMAN BACK INTO HER BODY TO LIVE A LONG HEALTHY LIFE MAY SHE ASTOUND THOSE AROUND HER MAY SHE MAKE A MIRACULOUS RECOVERY BEYOND WHAT ANYONE CAN COMPREHEND SO MOTE IT BE. Let this be done PLEASE!

Again of course just as before I am casting spells in this desperate hour of heightened emotion knowing in full grace I couldn’t possibly be of service in this horror of finality.

My ears register the sounds of the truck returning home to the cabin engine heavy from pulling horse & trailer. I rush out tripping over my feet from the energy exerted from wildly flinging chaotic energy. I chant through my stuttering tongue YOU MUST LIVE YOU MUST..LLI..VE...

…then I see her…

frail…thin… stumbling over her own hooves walking off the trailer towards her already dug grave. I promised myself I’d be hopeful till the end… yet now I see the miracle I begged for ... who was I even begging to?

The solemn procession halted with the horse facing Southeast turned around to die facing away from her grave...

This can’t be happening.

The vet instructs our every motion, they have done all they can ... 48 hours in they said she would make a full recovery... and now...

“JEEZE is that me? Damn I’ve lost weight”

My inner monologue is interrupted with the collapse of our mustang mare to the Earth.

“Whoa! Weird - why are you crying?!”

I am collapsed on my knees holding her sweet face making eye contact with a vacant hollow vessel, I spin around madly to greet the voice with one of those *you are being inappropriate side eye glances* yet there was no one standing on that side of me...

I turn back to my family weeping

“She’s not gone Tommy, she is always in here” fist to chest. A member of our party speaks.

“What? I can fit in there?!”

I stand & step away from the fresh corpse in search of the sassy unknown voice to compassionately correct the interuti....

“Seriously. I lost weight.”

Laughter immersed from the weeping

“Seriously she would say she has lost weight!”

Could they not also hear the voice?

My eyes scanned the area only to see a BLUE HORSE SPIRIT standing over herself feeding her family lines of comedic relief.

Shaking my head I took a deep breath to understand the hard to swallow juxtaposition of my paralyzing grief & this overlaid cartoon world that my eyes & ears are experiencing at equal strengths… surely this is some coping skill of my mind?

I kneel & wipe my tears - careful not to stare too long where spirit Sherman stood over Sherman... She was keeping them all laughing with snarky puns and memories... a horse stand-up routine at her own funeral…

I redirected my gaze over to the giant grave hole ... to my shock & awe Susan was casually leaning against the tractor WITH HER RED FIERY SPIRIT MARE GRAZING IN FRONT OF HER.

Nancy?!?! BUT HOW?!?!

I blinked till my eyes could see half properly through my own tears. Indeed Susan was reverent yet calm with the incredible sight of the incandescent fire opal spirit mare holding space for her heart… Nancy was of spirit as I would describe her new form woven threads of ether that seemed to catch the light at all angles & stare back...

I don’t know how long I knelt there - baffled - bewildered - confused & grateful? So many emotions in all my years of rescue I have never experienced death like this...

I mean SERIOUSLY Sherman watched herself hit the ground. HOW?!

My lover's kind hands brought me back to my body still kneeling in the pasture. My beloved got me to my feet so I could see the grieving party with periwinkle to violet galaxy spirit Sherman by their side walking away to breathe & get water.

Sherman’s physical vacant body lay there the exact energetic vibration of her environment like a borrowed vessel returned home.

My love scooped me up & we walked away before the burial crew did their job. Of course before I left the scene I looked once more at the fallen shell of my recently passed horse friend... Glistening spirit Nancy kissed her sister releasing any residual energetic electrons that quickly whirled & chased to rejoin the rest of the stunning labradorite shining Sherman...

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(Yes this is a true story)

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The next days became weeks... became a month. I tried a thousand times to write this story, knowing the prize money is what will save our farm from the 10k in vet bills… not to mention the money used for all the horse hospital trips was the money to put a new roof on the farm house. I imagined over & over completing this story & someone understanding what they are reading is my genuine world… now in shambles without our mustang mares…

My brother, Sherman’s companion did not leave bed. Due to the frozen tundra he was not called into work at the animal sanctuary, the music finally came to express this ache & the words both haunt & heal. The lyrics beg: “Don’t ascend without me! Please guide me as I walk this Earth, for though your precious life ends early I SAW you I SEE you YOUR INFINITE worth Love your Humble Rescuer… though you Rescued Me… somehow my life will not be the same without you…” The song was played so many times it became the elevator waiting music if you will of the cabin…

February of 2021 was blur of grief painting, mental breakdowns & screaming my sorrows into the Earth crying out:

“WHY AM I NOT ENOUGH TO SAVE HER? WHERE IS GOD? WHY AM I SO HELPLESS TO PROTECT THOSE I LOVE?”

The birds sang, the grass grew, the ice storm froze Kentucky & we?

We survived.

We survived each moment in grateful agony... we kept the fire wood pile high, my computer broke though without power it was irrelevant anyway, I laid down & shook from the depths of my tears how dare I live as a peasant human while majestic innocent creatures die around me.

I had done it that time.

WAKE UP! I snapped awake in a lucid dream state, my body still yet soul free. Not caring if this was death I left my body softly sleeping in the arms of my love with my German Shepherd in my arms.

My soul slipped through the crack in the door & lackadaisically meandered skyward. Someone was summoning my soul & I no longer cared to resist it. I surrendered completely & let my spirit be the breeze & every drop of sacred sea in the atmosphere. I accepted my all seeing nature with an OM.

Momentum eased & I directed my millions of mirrored eyes to see we had settled our position in the far back red farm gate that led from our pasture into the forest we call home.

From here our horseshoe farm could be seen in one glance.

Even in the majesty of this dream my commitment to depression replayed the vision of Sherman returning to through the gate after aiding Nancy pass... I replayed this dream over & over until my world was interrupted by the largest formations of color I had ever seen.

Infinite angelic horses encircling my silhouette with their thundering hooves & wings made of crystalline eyes.

Great wind spirits are horses. I stared into the eyes of a jet black centaur that had joined our communion in the sky. I stared into the black hollows before me until I saw my own reflection.

A holy seraphim did I see- my serpent tail danced around my WINGS! I spun around fluttering my midnight velvet obsidian wings returning my gaze to the centaur whose eyes themselves shone now as cosmic swirling universes all their own.

I opened my heart in thanks & out poured a song - a song so pure & true the chorus of infinite wings halted still all of us levitating just above the trees. My spinning revealed my turquoise third eye blooming - I could see myself in everything for everything sang with my reflection.

The sky awoke her sentience... I witnessed the stars getting closer as the Milky Way poured her intergalactic splendor of each color on the light spectrum which then took turns dancing to my voice solo then partnered as a collective.

The last two colors circled me in a duet & I danced with them able to sing without pause for breath & move freely without sounding winded. Divine Horizon Orange & Sacred Soothing Cool Pool Blue circled me revealing their identities as my cherished mustang sisters from our herd...

All at once I was filled with what must be said:

“In my humanity’s addiction to suffering I once again fell ill with the sickness of separation. Where I thought I had to save or resurrect you I now see you are here to save me.”

The colors nuzzled me, my heart imagined our mustang’s warm coats & my mind made it so. My heart envisioned my human fingers petting them both in the sky & my mind made it so.

Infinite vet calls, tests, panic, worry, concern, woe, horror, pain, grief physically manifested as electricity omitting from deep in my body cavity. Each electrical pulse purified every singular electron I AM of all that no longer serves me...laying my unfounded guilt to rest.

We rose us three higher to the heavens we continued to create from our heavens within.

A white lotus flower bloomed from the collective wings of the sky deities below us & the face of Mother God sang. Her interdimensional holy vibration felt in every hair follicle, each parallel barb of each feather was composed of infinite eyes of the all knowing source of all creation.

Sherman & Nancy as I knew them rejoiced in the song of the Mother by creating DNA helix patterns around me. The lotus petals themselves were eyes & with all the courage I have ever known I reached my arms to My Mother.

My voice greeted the infinite.

A Symphony of Divinity set free every electron of my I AM presence.

I AM Whole. I AM Innocent. I AM an infant child in an infinite universe as I am an infinite child in an infant universe.

Colors to loose forms to mustangs they cantered around me quickening their pace to a gallop - at full speed their bodies began to morph!

Their long skulls elongated further stretching their necks to a mighty size as their backs bloomed glittering wings their hooves became clawed hands... their tales from hair to another full extension of their body...

I squint to see their new forms beyond the blazing manes of liquid fire...

“DRAGONS!”

My voice ensued an instantaneous pause. Mother God hummed in this frozen moment of time gifted to me to process the miracles before me.

I stood up on the lotus petal with feet programmed by my residual self-image. My human toes cradled by every wing of the white lotus as I stepped towards Nancy... weeping & smiling & smiling & weeping I gaze at the billions of shimmering scales bending Grandmother moonlight across her valiant strong body. She is glowing with an inner radiance of rebirth.

Sherman... with great care I rotate in grace to face the second dragon. She is a stoic living painting. Whilst every centimeter of Nan is celebrated in red, Sher was the balanced opposite delighting my eyes in infinite seas of watery tones. Every brush stroke of her existence an intentional artistic choice of the holy visionary masterpiece she is.

My horse friends are dragons...

Mama responds to my next sentence before the thought is complete.

“Your Mustang friends are Sophia Dragons my Angel of Earth... as are you.”

Waterfalls of moonlight cascaded down around me to create a reflective reservoir between MYself & the circling dance of dragons.

All of creation hung in a suspended moment of my own self discovery in true form... my humanity transformed into my white wolf guide, my black centaur mentor & the last recognizable Earthen animal was almost dolphin until again my spine returned to serpent tail - each scale speaking wet peacock hues like a fresh oil painting... my legs grew next without any discomfort... feet into elegant claws & a muscular structure in my thighs suitable for landing... again with no pain at all my body could be anything my be-ing could dream in this moment…

“Shape shifting is merely the reordering of one’s electrons beloved Child” Mama Sophia Gaia telepathically spoke cooing omnipotent love in my subconscious & watering my crown with The Divine Breath of Life.

Laughter! I giggled & delighted in witnessing the incredible creature that is me! A serpent priestess of incalculable sea foam greens, blessed teals & silver kissed white became the code for every scale I AM.

Onyx Rainbow Obsidian wings handwoven by Dream Weaver & Isis caressed my back whose stems effortlessly attached to my shoulder blades.

Sacred Glowing Gold Sky Cow Horns of Hathor framed my Sacred Serpent face adorning my skull in beautiful protection as my crown lotus petals bloomed to connect my blooming blue lotus in my throat.

I stare unblinking & unafraid into my reflection for I have always known who I AM... the piercing blue of my eyes is always my indication of myself & then I free them to shift infinitely as well for I trust in this process beyond all need to understand.

“My Weslyn, You are always loved by the seen & unseen. Return now to the forest floor never forgetting your divinity for it is only in your absence of knowing who you really are that you cause others suffering.

Your innocence is in divine protection all ways always.

She of a Thousand Names

She of a Thousand Voices

She of a Thousand Stars

She of a Thousand Roses

She of a Thousand Angels

She of a Thousand Waters

She of a Thousand White Clouds & Thunder Beings

She of Infinite Sung Liberations

She Sophia Dragon Tribe”

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I roll over moss between my fingers head against the great white ash by the red gate in our pasture.

My heavy eyes catch the last glimpse of the city of angels circled above the trees. I stand & sing to watch the divine beings resume motion & spin 13 times before dispersing into a purifying white blanket of snow. Just before I am covered in cold I think of my bed & how nice it would be to wake there instead of a huge hike away. I ask I answer...

I roll over to find my beloved Dog Kida still safely in my arms - my shifting causes my lover to cuddle in closer gently sighing into my dreads...

My dreads... the room is completely dark & I sit up carefully not to disturb my now cuddling boys in bed. How did I just teleport here? That was too real- I know beyond doubt that just happened.

Isn’t it a full moon?

INSTANT pale blue hues illuminate the room from every window...

Wow okay that happened- I sort of pep talk myself into going outside to face the moon.

The air tastes of pure snow-capped mountains - the cabin looks to be covered in glass from the ice storm yet at this moment all is still under 3 feet of solid freshly fallen snow.

Mother Moon shines through the big sycamore tree smiling in all her radiance.

I walk across the field of ice & chuckle at the matrix glitch that my feet make no noise ...

CRUNCH- my next step loudly cracks through the ice under the soft snow.

CRUNCH- my next step does the same.

I turn back after 4 more steps to see exactly 6 footprints surrounded by a pristine field of untouched white.

Gulp... okay that was also very real.

I hold up my arms to examine the moonlight. Big scars, tattoos all very human looking... all except the color ...

My skin is still sea foam glittering teal turquoise that glimmers with the kaleidoscopic liquid crystal found in insect wings & scales...

“Write.”

The moon spoke with such clarity I jumped slightly making 2 more loud crunches in the ice.

“Sleep now baby & write in your grimoire tomorrow- do not fear for silly human thoughts as money- abundance is only energy & all you need is within you” with that a single thread of moonlight kissed my third eye & my body was levitated by a thousand unseen arms guided gentle back & tucked into bed till morning.

The Black Book Womb of No-Thing.

Our gentle roosters duet to greet the daylight. I wake? No, I acknowledge I am awake & rise to my assigned task… perhaps paradigm shifting suggestion is better worded.

My grimoire sits heavily before me on my altar. Spine broken from use & love, pages wrinkled some torn... I opened again to my begging for Sherman to live... realizing I have writing live as in she is aLIVE... I slammed the book shut & went to the woods. UGH my human form is overwhelmed with a childlike tantrum state far from the tantric acceptance I knew under the Great Sky Pearl with her Duet of Seraphim Dragons.

What was real?

Did I finally loose my mind in quarantine?

“I believe we lost our human mind in the desert actually”

My own voice responded! Still in my onesie I jumped & looked quite startled as my own voices lightly laughed. I too almost joined the voices in my head laughing at my sacred dorky pjs then realized I was still only speaking to myself & got solemn at the thought of being entirely bonkers.

“We are so adorable as human! How can does that much power fit into this lil cutie? My darling lil lightin’ in a bottle! ” My OverSoul speaks as a blushing mother.

“Easy now we can hear you VERY clearly” My Higher Self gently says in attempts to mediate.

I in the flesh suit breathe deeply to Recenter. My feet registering the tangible ground. I remember when this all began...

I started hearing voices after my stillborn daughter Plaedia was laid in the earth adorned in sacred purple fires. At the time I thought the first voice was her ghost from the future...

“NOT your Daughter- You ARE Pleiadian - KNOW your visions & voices are only your own” My OverSoul Thunders in my skull.

“Just slow down a bit okay? She is back in 3D & these are big concepts.”

My Higher Self acts as my advocate.

I raise my eyebrows & make direct eye contact with the nearest tree. The voices are telepathic yet I answer out loud: “I AM Ready.” I take a makeshift horse stance with improvised hand placements.

“I ask please you go steady & simply become still if I become overwhelmed - I shall vocally cue you when to continue with whatever lesson we are on.” My voice does not tremble or shake.

“What do you want to know first.”

My OverSoul is READY as if that part of me has been waiting a long time for this waking.

“I want to earn the power of healing so that I never have to watch those I love die again in the physical realm”

“The concept of ‘EARNING’ is toxic & demonstrates your immaturity please try again we will have to revisit that request once you are confident enough to not request but to command what you already have”

Wow my OverSoul is brilliant & I am VERY honored to have my Higher Self play translator between us.

“Weslyn...” My Higher Self speaks with mentoring grace. “Weslyn we are only your voices & therefore you program even what we say.”

I stare at the tree in silence commanding silence of my other inner voices. Success… that means even my highest form is somehow still an extension of my free will even to the degree that I program my reality by the power of my own word.

“This tree is a dragon of Mu whose face is rising from the bark to greet me”

AND SO IT WAS- I staggered backwards then squared my stance & continued facing this reality of my own creation. Just as I said the moment my energetic signature put off a marker of overwhelm all froze in stillness. I steadied & focused my eyes.

“Again. Please show me your true face dragon tree of Mu.”

Thus the wooden skull began to form slowly snaking towards me this time I allowed the elm to take reptilian form again & near me putting my hands up to indicate I had seen enough to believe it was real.

I ran back to my room from the meadow & placed my head to the cover of the book I lay there dazed, meditating & confused until my High Self interrupted me swirling in my own mess of frontal lobe funk.

“Write what you desire.”

I threw open the book forgetting to be easy on the broken spine & grabbed 3 non-working pens before I grabbed a thick marker. Frantically I began writing in some strange light language that I tried not to judge as scribbles.. My mind began frantically writing pleas for abundance to save our farm from vet bills begging to win this writing competition to buy Susan a new roof... when the Dragon I AM takes over My hand as if being driven by a divine force.

“ALL I HAVE EVER NEED IS WITHIN ME I HEREBY ACTIVATE KEYCODE 777. IT IS DONE. It Is Done. it is done.”

I respond writing to myself in completely different handwriting:

“What is KEYCODE 777?”

I AM presence responds:

“KNOW THY SELF.”

An onyx black covered phantom book peels itself from my 3D Grimoire with living gold pulsating through the veins of this living transmission... each page is a dragon scale of the highest holy of holies & illuminates every color of the universe both seen & unseen.

This is the cosmic Black Womb of No-thing manifested from within myself & therefore in this sacred ghostly book before me. I honor now my found inheritance that was never lost.

The Holy Divine found book before me dances around my head dropping money in reaction to my worrisome mind. The apparition of this blank book of Seraphim drops fresh fruits for the horses along with stacks of cash, gold, gems, crystals & finally WATER. The book melts into a Vase of pure alabaster with a blue lotus carved in the architecture of the sculpture- the water rains down upon my crown chakra.

I am whole & this book baptizes me in the sacred waters of my ancient future initiation into the omnipotent realms of my alien reptilian origin.

I Surrender. I LET GO. I AM WHOLE.

I AM that I AM just as the vase becomes an enchanting book once more this time with bird like behaviors. I giggle as the flapping book is still fluttering around spewing enormous wealth, wealth enough rebuild the entire barn... I will live my everyday in divine Union with the Dragon Thunder beings as they have led me to myself.

The found profound book lands in my hands becoming invisible sand eagerly waiting my next command...

“I command to fully embody KEYCODE 777 so mote it be...” and the sky outside erupts with my fellow thundering dragons singing proclamations & summoning me home to the clouds once more...