Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan

Unsurprisingly, the sequel to Star Trek: The Motion Picture was shorter and less of a slog than the top-heavy original, which seemed to drag on entirely too long. This time around, we have a classic "even-numbered" Trek film, one geared toward tackling the big question every science fiction and "Star Trek" buff always ponders: how long will it take for the redoubtable James Tiberius to whoop up on some butt-noggin Klingon ass? In this sequel, nothing flat, although it isn't Klingons here that pose the problem for Admiral Kirk and the merry crew of a reoutfitted Great Bird of the Galaxy starcruiser, it's that damn Ricardo Montalban, who, as Khan Noonien Singh, caused so much trouble in Episode 22, Season 1 of TOS, "Space Seed." Here, Khan and his crew of bad Seventies rock band rejects are holed up on some dismal planet, just licking their space chops over the prospect of getting revenge on one James. T. Kirk.

To that end, they manage to kidnap and kill the crew of the Genesis space project, which is all about terraforming alien worlds. There is a pretty impressive terraforming computer animation (impressive for its era) early on in the film, and then there are some space battles. I'm feeling a little fuzzy as regards the particulars here, as I've slept since then, but it was amusing to see how dated the old-fashioned three-dimensional models on fishing line looked against a greenscreen spacescape, as opposed to the computer and AI wizardry of today, which can whip up any image artificially and perfectly. In other words, this sort of space opera stuff from over forty years ago didn't age well, at least not in the effects department. No matter. Trek is Trek and always will be great no matter how dated and obsolete the SFX of 1982 seems in 2024.

Getting back to it, Admiral Kirk seems unthrilled to be having yet another birthday (someone should have informed him they come about once every year), but he gets a gift of antique granny glasses and a print edition of A Tale of Two Cities from Spock, who ends the film as everybody who ever went Trekkin' seriously already knows, not in a good way. Spock is played by the late, great Leonard Nimoy, who defined what it means to be a prime-time alien, forever.

McCoy (DeForest Kelly) comes on with some illegal Romulan Ale ("Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a television icon!") and Mr. Saavik (the late Kirstie Alley, looking as beautiful as she ever did here) fails the "Kobayashi Maru" the Starfleet training exercise which is a "no-win situation." We are informed that James Kirk is the only cadet who ever BEAT the test, and it becomes a subplot theme of the film as he struggles to come to terms with how he's "never faced death [...] I've always cheated it." If he's never faced death, you sure have fooled everyone who's watching "Star Trek TOS" since childhood. Of course, he always managed to survive every encounter (even with a malfunctioning food dispenser).

Warp factor 1: Khan, obsessed with revenge, kidnaps Chekhov (Walter Koenig) and Terrell (Paul Winfield) and sticks alien brain suckers in their ears. They steal the aforementioned Genesis Device, realizing it is the ultimate power in the galaxy. They go after Kirk and the Enterprise crew, and the last surviving members of the Genesis scientific expeditionary team beam aboard. One of them is Kirk's old flame Carol (Bibi Besch), and his son (whom he has never met) the resentful, handsome, seemingly space yuppie David (Merritt Butrick), who detests his macho, absentee father. But hey, when you're James T. Kirk, to quote Sun Ra, "Space is the Place."

Khan doesn't make out very well, but Genesis is a go. Spock, well, we don't want to give out any spoilers, but this film will leave no nominally Vulcan Trekker with a dry, logical eye in the house. Or something along those lines. The ending (although it is NOT the ending in the sense of the ST saga) is quite stirring. There's a lot of confrontation with the idea of death, noble and otherwise, here. Scotty's son, played by Escape to Witch Mountain child actor Ike Eisenmann, is also killed in a disaster in Engineering.

On the whole, a vastly entertaining foray into Trekville, reviving a classic villain and setting the stage for Treks 3 and 4. Trek 4, "The Voyage Home" is especially good, of course. It was directed by Leonard Nimoy, who was incredible at everything he ever did (except for singing "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins," which was, on the whole, perhaps a career miscalculation but was, at least, most illogical.)

Now, I have only one thing left to say to finish this review:

"KHAN!"

(Trembling William Shatner face.)

Kirk out.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

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