Linaea's Grimoire

They say an animal’s auric purity is what makes them so prone to being exposed to that which cannot be explained. Up until now I’ve always found that hard to believe. I’ve never seen what lies beyond the veil of our mundane reality, and I’ve never really felt all that compelled to explore anything beyond the bounds of what I cannot see. The concept of spirits, entities, deities — it all just sounds so far fetched and out of grasp. But as I stand in the middle of this lush and vibrant woodland, seeing what I’m seeing, it’s hard not to believe that things are not always as they appear.

“Come to me.”

Her voice was gentle and steady, it’s pitch bouncing sweetly from ear to ear, echoing through the lofty evergreen trees. I hesitantly inched closer to the apparition, the small, black leather bound book my dog, Alice, dug up that appears to have conjured her, secured firmly between my shaky, sweat covered palms. There was something oddly familiar about her, not only in appearance, but also in energy — powerful, completely all encompassing as if it vibrated throughout everything that has ever existed in my life. Her presence felt as I imagined it would feel to be in the presence of God, and the closer I got, the more intense the feeling became. I could feel her coursing through my veins like potent supernatural adrenaline, sheathing me in a cloak of vigorous ecstasy. I closed my eyes briefly as a tear softly made its way down my crimson kissed cheek, every joy filled memory flashing itself across my mind as my breath steadied. She and I were face to face now. Her bronze skin glowed as diamonds do under mellowed rays of amber sun, the springy curls of her chestnut coloured hair swaying wildly in the cool autumn wind. Her eyes were a hypnotic shade of violet, riddled with flecks of gold and onyx, piercing into me as I stood before her.

“You don’t know who I am, do you?” She asked, cupping my cheek in her hand as she wiped away my tears.

“And if you don’t know who I am, that means you must have no idea who you are either.” I could hardly find the words to speak. It was as if every time I tried something was in the way. I shook my head, I had no idea who or what she was. A large part of me wanted to run, I wasn’t sure why she was here and I wasn’t so sure I wanted to find out. As amazing as it felt to be here, sharing her space and indulging in her essence, I knew that what I was feeling was not meant to last forever.

“You know this is no coincidence.” She said.

“S-so what is this?… Who are you?” I asked reluctantly. She averted her gaze to the small black book held tightly in my grip.

“Is this why you’re here?”

“And also why you’re here.” She said as her lips quirked up into a smile. My brows furrowed as I listened to her speak. Why am I here? What could this possibly have to do with me? Her dubious replies and enigmatic demeanor was confusing, and frustrating. “There is a reason you feel the way you do, but don’t know why. I can assure you this will all make sense after some time… You see, you didn’t find this book on your own.” She smiled and shook her head as she walked over the pile of freshly dug earth, caressing tiny bits between her fingertips as she stared into the depths of the hole.

“You were called here. The book was intended to be found by you, at this moment.”

I had to take a minute to process what she’d just said. As I’ve mentioned before, I know nothing of this world — the metaphysical. The idea of all of this even happening is so foreign to me, but now to find out that it wasn’t just some sort of accident was even more baffling. So now I have to know — why? “This book contains everything you will ever need to live the life you truly deserve. You are a descendant of power and wealth. Once you return to your life and read, you will know all there is to know.” Return to my life?

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My eyes slowly peered open as the immensely aggravating sound of heart monitors blared hazily in the background. The lights were bright and blinding, I couldn’t help but wince as I tried to search through my terribly blurred gaze for anything familiar. “Linaea?” I knew this voice. So melodically soothing and home-steady that it could uplift even the saddest of souls, every word she spoke feeling like a warm and nurturing embrace. “Somebody get the nurse!” This voice has carried me through many rough days and nights, consoling me after terrifying nightmares, and celebrating me as I experienced huge milestones. My mother. My body has never felt so weak and frail. I felt as if I had just run an entire 10 mile marathon. I gently turned my head in the direction of my mother’s voice, my vision clearing as I focused on her face. “Mom?” I said groggily.

“Yes, Linaea,” she sobbed. “I’m so happy you’re awake...alive.”

“Where am I?” I asked.

Her tearfully joyous expression quickly fell as she looked down at her hands before gently holding mine in hers. I’d hardly ever seen my mother upset. She was always such a happy person and even when she was upset she’d always find some way to see the positive in whatever circumstance she was under. This was a side of her I’d never known, and even in my feeble state of confusion, it absolutely broke my heart to see her this way.

“There was an accident.” She said.

“What?”

“You were in a multi car pileup on highway 41...three months ago.”

“Is this some kind of joke?" Was I not just walking Alice in the woods?

“Believe me, I wish I were kidding. You have no idea how much we’ve all missed you. We were beginning to think the worst.”

So none of it was real? She wasn’t real? I do have to admit, I was slightly relieved. Of all people to be approached by some sort of celestial being, I certainly don’t think I’d be first on the list. The skepticism alone I feel would deem me unworthy in some way, but now I have to process my current reality. The nurse rushed in, a tall older gentleman in a white coat who I could only assume was my doctor following in closely behind her.

“Welcome back, Miss. Alrick!” He smiled, the wrinkles around his eyes quirking up around his glasses.

“I’m Dr. Jace. I’m sure your mother has filled you in on all the uh... not so great details. We’ve been monitoring you closely and aside from the fact that you were under for such a long time, all your vitals are perfect. You sustained minor injuries to your neck and rib cage, so you will be required to wear a neck brace for the next month or so. I have also prescribed some pain medication to help with any discomfort you may feel over the next few days. Other than this you should be cleared to be discharged in the morning.” He said.

I managed to muster a tiny nod. All of this was quite a lot to digest. I’m obviously happy to have made it out of this alive, but seeing as I don’t remember any of this happening, the anxiety I was feeling was incredible.

“You’re a very lucky girl, Linaea.” He and the nurse exited the room, along with my mother.

As I lay in bed I could see my mother and Dr. Jace having what appeared to be an intense conversation. Their voices were low, but I managed to make out a few words. “Hospital bill” definitely stood out, and that was all I needed to hear to piece the rest of their exchange together. My mom raised me on her own, and while I was always taken care of, I know it was never easy for her. She’s a passionate fiction writer. Her dream is to be a published author, but she’s always been too afraid to submit any of her works to any publishing companies. She teaches English at our local high school, and waitresses on the weekends for a bit of extra income. When I turned 16, I got a job of my own so I could help take some of the financial burden off of her shoulders. I know for a fact that keeping me here in this hospital for 3 months could not have been cheap, and while she has insurance, it can only cover so much. Sigh. I’m really hoping that I'm able to find a job as soon as possible, so that I can help her with all of this. She doesn’t need any more stress than the mountain she’s undoubtedly been under these past few months.

I was discharged from McMichael Memorial Hospital early the following morning. It felt incredible to be in control of my body again, even though I can hardly remember being out of control of it to begin with. The more I moved, the more energy I felt. Alice was ecstatic to say the least when I returned home, all but practically tackling me as I walked through the front door of the house, and showering me in an abundance of doggy kisses. Mom prepared me a lavishly bountiful breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, and chocolate chip pancakes with strawberry preserves on top. She hasn’t made this for me since I got my acceptance letters from all the universities I applied to. After I’d finished eating, the last thing I wanted to do was crawl back into bed. Afterall, I’d been in bed for 3 months. The thought of lying there reminded me of my lifeless body wasting away in that hospital bed, not being able to do a damn thing about it. The thought alone plagued me with angst. I wanted to do anything else.

“Hey mom, do you think it’d be okay if I take Alice for a walk?” I asked. She looked at me, reluctance and worry awash on her face.

“Do you think that’s a good idea? How are you feeling?” She asked.

In all honesty, I felt great mentally. I was still feeling weak from all that had happened, but did not want to have to be confined to a bed any longer.

“It may be best to wait another day--”

“Mom, I’ll be fine.” I said as I grabbed Alice’s leash and clipped it to her collar. “If anything, I have my phone, and I’ll call you if I’m not feeling well. I’m not going far, just the woods.”

“Okay,” She sighed. “But please, if you feel even the slightest bit of discomfort or lightheadedness --”

“You’ll be the first to know.” I said, reassuring her as I gave her a hug. “Come on, Alice! I’ve missed our little strolls” I smiled as I leaned over slightly to pet Alice’s head, planting a small peck on her cute little nose. Alice guided me out the front door as soon as I opened it. She knew our route like the back of her paw, but something about her quick little stride felt different from all the other times I’ve taken her out. There was purpose behind it. Not only did she know where she wanted to go, but she was eagerly determined to get there as soon as she could. “Slow down, girl.” I laughed. She must be excited to walk with me again.

Within 15 minutes we’d reached the woods -- our woods. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, soaking in the crisp, dewy air, before bending down and releasing Alice from her leash. She ran off almost instantly, but she’s always been very loyal and responsible, I knew she’d be back the minute I called for her. I wish I could say it felt like ages since I’d last been here, but in actuality it only felt like a day or two. This is the site of my eerie comatose dream. It still plays over and over in my head, no matter how hard I try to rid myself of the memory. I’m surprised I was even able to bring myself to come here, but I suppose it’s because my experience was not frightening. The more I think about it, I think that’s the one part of the whole thing that amazes me the most. You’d think someone who doesn’t believe in that stuff would encounter a myriad of fear filled feelings. I should have ran in horror, I should have been crying out for help, but all I felt was a lusciously gentle calm, an undeniable closeness accompanied by an almost familial intimacy. I felt like I knew her, but couldn’t quite put my finger on how I knew her. I began to hear Alice barking excitedly in the distance.

“Where are you Ally?” I called out, following her bark to a large pine tree in the middle of the woods.

Alice frantically charged at me, toppling me to the ground and throwing one of her “treasures” at me, though I wasn’t able to tell what it was just yet. This is something she does quite often. Whenever she finds something she likes, she gives it to me, almost like an offering. I rolled my eyes and slowly rose to my feet, flinching in pain as I held onto my side and adjusted my neck brace.

“Now, what could possibly be so important that you had to choose violence, huh?” I said as I looked down at Alice.

She walked behind me to pick up her treasure, releasing it from her mouth and presenting it at my feet. I almost couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Staring back at me was a little black leather bound notebook. The exact same book Alice had dug up in my dream a few hours prior. My body grew tense as I waited for her to appear, just as she had the first time. I waited in aggravatingly long suspense for the curly haired goddess to reveal herself and tell me of the book's purpose… But she never came. Perhaps that’s all this was this time, just a book, but what a coincidence. There is one thing I never did when I first found this though, and that was open the book. Mainly because I never felt any urge to, but this time was different. I could feel that same cool rush of euphoric calm wash over me as my fingers peeled the book open and brushed over the first page. Words began to appear, written one by one before my eyes.

“Linaea,” It read. “I had told you once before that this was no accident. This is my grimoire, written centuries before your time. Here lies the key to solving many of your problems. I enchanted it and sealed it away in preparation for this very moment, knowing you’d return here out of curiosity. I am the ancestor to which your name comes from. Linaea Seline Alrick, your great great grandmother. We met as your soul astral projected briefly into the spirit realm before returning to the physical plane a few hours later.”

It wasn’t a dream. It makes sense now why she felt so familiar. I was so enraptured by her delightfully blissful energy that I failed to realize I was looking in the mirror. Her hair, her smile, her glowy bronze skin… She looked just like me. She was a part of me, always hovering in the background, watching over me as a guardian angel would. “I know you do not believe in the old ways. You know nothing of your power and what you're capable of, so until you learn, the book will not reappear until you’re ready. Go home, Linaea, a blessing awaits.” My eyes widened as the book caught fire, it’s ashes blowing gingerly from my hands into the wind that swirled about the trees before me. My heart was pounding ferociously in my chest, my breath was frantic and unwavering. This was the first semblance of fear I felt since this first happened, and only because the book had vanished. I quickly clipped Alice’s leash back onto her collar. She guided us out of the woods and back into our neighbourhood.

We returned home safely a few minutes later. Alice ran over to her food bowl as soon as I opened the door. Mom always prepares Alice’s food just before we return from our walk, she always seems to know when we’re on our way. Now learning we are supposedly the descendants of otherworldly beings, that makes a lot more sense. Mom was nowhere in sight when we got in, but footsteps could be heard tiptoeing about upstairs. I decided to go upstairs and check her room to see if she was there. I opened her room door to find her sobbing as she looked down at her phone. I ran over to her,

“Mom, what’s wrong.”

She looked up at me and smiled, pulling me into her arms and hugging me tightly. My brows furrowed in confusion

“What’s going on?” I asked, concerned.

“While you were in your coma, I was absolutely distraught. The only thing other than wine that seemed to keep my mind off of things was my writing. A month ago, I received an email from this site called Vocal, they’re a freelance writing platform for creative writers and they host monthly contests,”

“Okay…” I said, wondering where all of this was leading.

“They were hosting a contest earlier this month. Oh God, I’ve been going out of my mind trying to figure out how I was going to pay for all your hospital bills…”

“Mom, can you please get to your point?”

“The winner wins a cash prize of $20,000. Linaea...I won'' She sobbed.

My heart almost stopped. In my head I could see Linaea’s words jotting themselves down in the pages of the little black book “Go home, Linaea, a blessing awaits''. Immediately I knew, this was the blessing.