I Thought They Might Eat Me

I’ve never seen such a bunch of mean people in my life. I don’t even know if I should call them people. They looked like humans, but their eyes looked like cat, or reptile eyes. They wore these tight fitting black synthetic suits that made them all look fit and slim. I wondered if they were all built that way or if the suit made them look like that.

Raspy was something else. She reminded me of a bully sister of a friend of mine who would be laughing and joking with you one minute and putting you down like a dog, just for fun, the next. Except she didn’t joke so much. Luckily, she was usually putting everyone else down. I guess I wasn’t her target, since I was an ambassador. Now to think of it, they were always putting each other down. I guess it was one of their cultural things.

I had learned about how different their culture was in my short prep class, even though I already knew that various groups had different cultures. Fortunately, they could tell me a little about this culture in particular before I had to find out for myself. Hearing it and seeing, however, were two different things. My contacts were Raspy, Vashna, Vixen, and Cog. Cog…what a name. We sat at the table in a secluded restaurant way in the back away from most of the patrons reserved just for such high level state conversations. Raspy pulled a small disk from her pocket, tapped a button on top, and placed it on the table.

“Now no one outside of this circle can hear us. We are blocking the sound waves in this perimeter if you wonder how that is,” She said, directing her comments to me. “This includes radio waves, of course.”

“Very impressive,” I said.

“Yes, it is,” Vixen said. “I am the ambassador who will be in contact with you and the Earthlings most of the time. We are honored to have you here on the planet Barbados. “

“My honor to be here,” I responded.

“We heard you didn’t want to come,” Raspy said.

“Raspy is from the military branch. She is a Great General. They tend to be more rude than the others.” Everyone around the table began to laugh under their breath.” Raspy pursed her lips.

“Please show him your best side, Vixen,” She said. “Turn around and let him see your rear end.” That sent the table into an outbreak of laughter. Vixen began to smile, but tried to hide it.

“I thought you were my best side,” Vixen said. “Yet again, you do look like my rear end, except a little bigger.” I just burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it. This was crazy.

“Something funny, space monkey,” Raspy said. She stared at me, picked up her drink and took a sip.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn't have laughed. She was very serious and thoughtful.”

Raspy grinned as others joined in in the laughter.

“This is just something we do to loosen up before we talk about serious issues,” Cog said. “It helps us loosen up a little so don’t take it too seriously.” He gave me a wink. “Space Monkey.” I was speechless and they began to laugh again.

“Enough of that for now,” Vashna said, stepping in. “I am a prince of our fair planet. I will not be attending these meetings, but I wanted you to at least meet me at the first meeting.” He was tall with brown skin, a moustache and a goatee type beard. “We will be seeing you soon enough.” He stood and said, “We don’t shake hands, as he turned and walked out. Cog, a somewhat shorter man with a very light complexion stood and followed.

“Things should be getting more ordered now,” Vixen said just loud enough for them to hear. Vixen was another buff woman, in the suit, with long black hair. Her eyes were very dark brown, but similar to the reptile eyes they all seemed to have, which were piercing and nerve wracking when they stared at you. It seemed that they were projecting some type of energy at you when they stared.

“Where are the fat people?” I asked out of nowhere.

“We don’t do fat,” Raspy said. “We have mandatory fitness programs. Those who are big often become very muscular from them with no extra fat.”

“It’s amazing how many people on your planet are so big,” Vixen said. “Some are so heavy it is a health risk while others are starving and so thin they may die of malnutrition. Your planet is so backwards, or at least so different than most we’ve seen. Can you explain it?”

“On Mars we don’t seem to have that problem as much,” I commented, “But Earth is what they call–well it used to be called capitalist. In a capitalist society people hoard all they can fearful that they might lose it sometime in the future and be left to starve. Some people eat a lot. Some of them have a metabolism that makes them hold on to more fat, and the food…the leftover food habits, come from a world where people made food out of the cheapest materials possible to save money. By adding sugar they made it so the body couldn’t tell that it was full so people kept eating and eating.”

Now the society doesn’t do it anymore, but some people have gotten used to the taste, the flavors, the food, and demand it. You should have seen Earth during the 21st Century. That’s when there were a lot of big people in some of the wealthier countries.”

“So you are basically saying that much of it comes from a habit that was developed for survival combined with the greed of a few who took advantage of that habit to gain material goods; that it has been learned over many generations and can’t seem to be unlearned.”

“I would say so. Generational and cultural habits on Earth tend to be almost permanent for some people while not for others. Humans, some of them, are somewhat limited when it comes to breaking their conditioning, especially when leaders and loved ones reinforce the behaviors that support the conditioning. We are trying to work on it though. The Earth is much better than it was 100 years ago and I hope it will get even better.”

“It won’t,” Raspy said. “That’s why all the other planets are so angry and we’re so angry. It’s moving in the other direction…back to a more brutal form of capitalism, as you call it. It was known as Feudalism long ago. An elite group of people would own everything and be above the law while the others were subject to any laws and abuses passed down by this upper echelon of people. There was a pause in capitalism only so the rulers could set the stage for Techno Feudalism followed by outright Feudalism and slavery.”

“I can’t believe that,” I said. She just stared at me with those snake eyes for a few moments.

“Feudalism was limited to a few countries near each other while others could resist, or saw it as something brutal and horrid. With the new technology feudalism can spread all over the whole Earth with whole continents converted into Feudal Kingdoms and those who don’t agree with it will have nowhere to go,” She continued. “Wake up. Can’t you see what is happening before your own eyes.”

“I’ve been on Mars for more than a century”…more than 100 years,” I said to clarify myself. “I can’t believe they're doing that on Earth.” Raspy shook her head.

“I can’t believe that you don’t see what’s right before your eyes,” Vixen said. “The whole galaxy knows it but you don’t!? What’s wrong with you? You humans have a blind spot.”

“That is and always has been the problem,” Raspy said. “You humans have a blind spot that others take advantage of and no one can seem to make you see clearly. Prophets, sages, teachers from the past, even star people have been coming to you for thousands of years and most of you still don’t or won’t get it. Now everyone except for us is done with you.”

“And why is it that you are not done with us?”

“Because we are stupid,” Vixen said.

“I wasn’t going to say it first,” I said.

“That’s not the reason for all of us. Vixen speaks for herself. The reason is because we created humans. We took all of the genes in the world of many species and decided to put them on one planet as a repository. The plants, the animals, the insects, and the humans contain all of our genes. We want them and we want to keep them safe. Others want to write you off so…we get you and all those genes and minerals for ourselves if we can get you in line. If not we just kill the humans and take all the other stuff. The genetic codes stored in the humans are easy to recover. We have them already, but the other stuff would be hard.”

“So it is not out of the kindness of your hearts that you want to help us?”

“As your people say, hell no!,” Raspy said.

“Boy. You are really honest aren’t you. You don’t care what anyone thinks about you, do you?”

“No. Now let’s get to work, shall we? We have a report to file with Vashna. But remember…we don’t care about you humans. Is that clear?”

“Yes. You don’t have to say it like that though. Yes! Okay? Are you trying to torture me or something?”

“That thought hasn’t even crossed our minds…yet,” Vixen said. A slow smile broke across her face.

“I’m sure very few thoughts have crossed your minds, except for pulling the wings off of flies and the like. Let’s get to work so I can get out of here.”

“You can go when we say you can go,” Vixen said.

“Keep acting that way and you’ll beg me to go when I start whipping your ass.”

“I don’t think you ambassadors are supposed to be working this way. Am I incorrect?” Raspy asked. “I can’t be meeting with you all the time as a referee so I suggest you both grow up and act like adults. The lives of millions are in both of your hands. Am I clear?” Vixen gave a nod. I frowned and finally nodded.

“Good. Let’s set up some dates for you two to meet and then we will send Ambassador Tanner to his residence and allow him a couple of days to get used to his surroundings, our culture and so on.” We all pulled out our pads and began to schedule meetings. I have never been with a group of creatures so nasty in my life. What would the people in the town be like if the leadership was like this?

The End (Part 2)