Alone Together

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space. They say a lot.

//0932#Log- edit//Mine tunnels hazard-disregard search and rescue alarms//

Working on a mining station in the Kuiper belt you get to hear everything. Being 40 AU from the earth and working with unstable asteroids, people die all the time. Solar-Plex inc. in its infantile wisdom regulates all radio com chatter. This means all radios are open and on, always. The good days are when the monitoring system can cut off the screaming. Usually, it’s a limb or a digit that some fool loses but sometimes a gas pocket blows. I’ve only seen that once, it was incredible. A massive geyser of gas blew some rock-jock halfway to the sun. He was credited with being the fastest human ever. Fast enough that his family never got his life insurance. He was labeled “derelict while on duty”. To keep us from talking about the incident we all received bonuses. Doing some quick math, the cost was well below the life insurance they would have had to pay out.

I still wake up seeing that geyser and those eyes filled with terror as they recognize what was about to happen just before they became a blur. It was like they never existed, their locker cleaned out and repurposed before we even got back into the employee housing. Was told once “never make friends with a dead man”, the dead man who had said that got his head crushed. This station puts everyone’s perspectives in a very clear alignment, survival being at the top. Why would anyone work such a job. I can only speak to my situation; I have no other options. What can an unguided disillusioned young guy do but take a position on a ring station? I remember telling myself “Leave and get some perspective.” That was ten years ago, really haven’t noticed the time. Day to day is thinking about how not to get maimed or turned into a floating corpse. Time loses meaning, no sunup or sundown. There are shifts you're on, shifts you sleep, and shifts you do something that takes your mind off the work. You talk with other workers but it is not speaking, it's emotions or just raw informative data. You can’t recall conversations; you can only just remember how you felt and maybe how others did a couple of days ago.

Context matters, you need to understand how much of this life just slips by. Since this is just the beginning of what happened. I am trying to remember everything that has led up to this. Pieces of my memories float around like dust, and I can only just see them in the faintest of light. I have been here writing this all down hoping that it will pull more of my mind together. I just hope that you can make sense of my writing.

The camera system has been down for months and since there hasn’t been any filming there is plenty of memory. I will try to include my helmet audio log as well, but even that I don’t trust. The screaming still wakes me up even with all the speakers smashed. The voices mumble but I know now they come from dead bodies. You probably already know that the only survivor so far has been me. Though I will most likely be dead soon, if not and I shine like the others. Kill me, I’ve seen what happens in the end, the others don’t even seem human. Don’t listen to me, and just put me down. Thank you if you do and if you don’t good luck living with what you’ve done.

Like I said “don’t make friends with the dead" I've always told people this, especially to those new bastards that sign up. They always think that way because they are always young and have no idea how fast they can just disappear. Once this group of rock jocks boarded the station. All smiles and big eyes thought that their financial problems were over. The small shuttle they were on was probably older than half of them. It docked as smooth as ever and as the doors of the airlock opened and the jockeys stepped through an emergency alarm tripped. The doors of the station shut before any of those rock jocks knew what had happened. The doors closed so fast that they split one guy and took a leg from one and an arm from another. After that smiles weren’t on their faces but on ours.

“Your hubris was too much for this station.” Or “That’s what happens when ya think you're invincible." Many saw it as the station just proving a point. Though after that those who made it out of that docking incident didn’t have to deal with any hazing. Not that there was much, to begin with. Too many end up getting vented for taking hazing too far. The company usually looks the other way anyway. The station by many was seen as a malevolent creature. One day you could make every mistake, forget to purge your recycler, not fully flush your drill, and not double seal your suit and make it through alive. On another day you could be asleep in your pod and there would be a carbon monoxide leak, not being found until the smell was noticed.

We mined and hauled rock for Solar-Plex. The company would then refine the ore and sent it to the moon on slow-moving coasters. Our job was simple and easy to fill. The worker who could last long enough would see themselves for what they were. Finally reached that realization only two months into the job. Impossible to even remember who worked with me or my crew chief then. The chaos of the last few weeks or I think it’s been weeks has taken a toll. I’m still waiting for a ship, any ship at this point even if the ship is carrying raiders. I try to keep a schedule, which helps me focus and keeps the chattering out. I usually wake up in a different place than where I remember, though that isn't clear either. I walk to the side of the station with the mining tunnels that I have been able to seal off completely. Checking doors and seals, welding or bracing with whatever else I think will help. Most of the station’s furniture, which was already sparse, I’ve welded or propped against most of the doors. I do it hoping not to stop the others but more to block the sounds. It helps somewhat. The grey- greens of the station's inner walls are poorly lit, so shadows always screw with my peripheral vision. I only have the lights on my suit's helmet since the flashlights have been lost. I walk in circles only taking breaks for food or to attempt a password on the main terminal. Right, I forgot, the main terminal has been locked out, and since the security system was a retrofit it is separate and unaffected by the lockout.

The lockout, I should probably explain that before I wander again. I'll put a warning at the beginning of this log too. Alright, I've tried not to mention this and with real concern. When I try to remember and go back in my mind I black out and wake up near a door. Though each time I have done this I recover a little more memory. I'll share what I've recalled so far.