A Simple Wish

It was a miserable January day, rainy, cold and grey. She was almost arriving at work. She felt trapped, wishing that the bus journey would last forever, feeling the sinking hopelessness of another work day in a job where she was miserable. If only she had enough money to at least live a happy life outside of work, but no. Sarah was on less than minimum wage, washing dishes, with the world’s weight on her shoulders. Just turned thirty and had nothing to show for herself. No career, no savings, no partner, no actual belongings, except for a few bits and bobs, and the dreading realisation that the world was near its end. Global warming was progressing faster than ever and modern society was falling apart. “If only time would stand still for a minute!” she whispered. Time was beginning to run out on her. At her age, her mom was already married with kids and with a good job. Sarah couldn’t be farther from that reality. Days, months and years would go by while she was stuck in this never ending routine.

The bus stopped, she took a deep breath and stepped out. She felt something soft under her foot, looked down and saw a little black Moleskine book. Sarah picked it up and skimmed through it to see if she could find the owner’s details. People write such deep, personal thoughts on these little things, she didn’t want it to fall into wrong hands.

Suddenly the following writing caught her eye “covid is still out there, no signs of giving it a rest. We thought we would be coming home for 3 weeks more or less, it’s been 2 months! Everyday is the same as the day before, and the same as the next day! I’m going crazy, and I swear I’m going to explode if I get another Doom call!!!” with a frowning face Sarah searched for an entry’s date. She heard about this covid thing happening in China in the news, maybe this belonged to someone who had just returned from there. She turned the page, this time there was a date “01.06.20 We are exhausted, my grandad and uncle passing away and me not being able to be there or support my mom is gut wrenching! Lockdown is killing us! London is not a city prepared for this, we all live in rented rooms cause we never thought we would need to spend so much time inside them. This city doesn’t have the space for us all!!”

Sarah’s heart started racing, “London? 1st June 2020? But that’s the future, how can that be? Maybe this is a joke? No way a lockdown would happen in London would go into lockdown!” The rain kept hitting her face bringing her into reality, she jolted and started running, she didn't want to be late, that would mean a pay cut or at the very least a harsh warning from the supervisor. She kept the little black book in her backpack “I’ll read you later”.

On her way home she took the black book out. Sarah was anxious to know more. The writer described a very grim future, if this was in fact the future. “05.03.20 There’s a lot of talk about this covid situation at the office. Everyone is a bit uncomfortable with it. No one really knows what to make of it! I’m not really worried for now, there’s a few cases in the UK but not too many. Although Rita says they are probably underreporting. She’s definitely more clever than I am, but I really hope that’s not the case!” “12.03.20 The numbers keep going up like crazy! It’s scary, we all ride the tube and bus to come to work, what are we exposing ourselves to? Apparently the prime minister is speaking tonight, I hope that he tells us to start working from home. I’m scared, my family isn’t here, what if something happens to me? God… what if something happens to them!? I don’t think I’m gonna be able to sleep properly tonight... “ “13.03.20 Today was probably the first Friday that no one could really say “Happy Friday!” with enthusiasm. After hearing the PM last night we all feel a bit unsafe. There was a tone of urgency in his voice, however we are asked to keep our life as normal, keep coming into the office. We are afraid… God, the amount of suffering that is yet to come, the amount of grieving families! I hope I won’t be one of them! Woke up crying...”

“24.03.2020 We have been told to stay at home. Not to leave unless for essential travel. All the office is working from home, we’re all adapting, trying to keep positive. Rita says she’s gonna go back home this weekend. She wants to be near her parents in case something happens. I want it too but I’m too afraid to have something already and pass it on to them. However I’m equally afraid that they get something and I can’t reach them in time. Maybe I’m paralyzed with fear and thus staying in the same place.”

Sarah looked up, her heart was aching in pain for the writer, the streets were dark and she could see her anxious face reflected in the window. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down, “perhaps this is nothing but a work of fiction”. She lost track of time and missed her stop. Sarah decided to walk back home, instead of getting on the bus again, the cold night air was helping slow her thoughts down. Sarah decided not to read further, this little book was a source of anxiety, she didn’t know how to deal with it, she would put it away for now.

It was the beginning of March, Sarah woke up in a rush, she had a few minutes to get ready and leave the house before risking getting in late again. Since she encountered the little black book she created the habit of listening to the BBC news on her way to work. “Good morning, it’s the 5th of March and you're listening to the BBC. The first death from coronavirus in the UK has been confirmed and more than 100 people have now tested positive for the novelty virus. Chief Medical Officer, Chris Witty, is expected to tell MP’s today that the UK will now move to the second stage dealing with COVID-19, the “delay” phase.” Later that day Sarah made the decision that the little black book was to be opened again. She checked for specific information regarding the ”delay” phase or Chris Witty but she couldn’t find anything. Why did this bloody book find her? Sarah wasn’t one to believe in God or destiny, she always felt things just happen, it’s a matter of luck. But now this little black notebook was putting all that into question. Could it be that destiny did exist and Sarah was meant to find this book? Was there really a chance that some God felt that it was imperative that she would step on these pages? And for what? Because all it had brought her so far was a lot of anxiety regarding the future. So far everything that Sarah read seemed inevitable. There was really nothing she could do to avoid or prevent anything.

Sarah read the book everyday after work trying to understand it. A week and a half had passed and nothing that she had read had come in handy. At the moment there were a lot of shortages in the supermarkets, especially toilet paper, but the writer failed to note that down, so at the end of the day Sarah was as prepared as everyone else. She was starting to get mad at the book, or the writer, or the Gods, she couldn’t really know at whom for sure. She felt like she was supposed to do something with this information but she didn’t know what.

Contrary to the writer’s co-workers, Sarah’s co-workers were seemingly much less worried about the whole covid situation. Instead of discussing the news and the number of infections, they were discussing the stock market. One of the Cooks told the other how he had bought some GameStop stock in the hopes that it might go up in the future. Apparently he saw something on reddit explaining how it was being undervalued, or something like that. The other cook was puzzled by that “Nah, I don’t know. Stock market is a risky business. I barely have any money left at the end of the month… how can you be sure you won’t lose it?” he enquired, “I can’t! You have to be prepared to lose it, it’s not for the faint of heart… Unless you have a magic ball my friend, nothing is guaranteed in life!”.

This last phrase kept ringing in Sarah’s head. Could this be it? Could the little black book be her magic ball. “Am I a character in a Disney movie? Has my wish been granted in a very complex way?”.

Tired and annoyed she put the notebook down, she couldn’t find anything specific. The writer talked a lot about a vaccine but didn’t mention the name of the pharmaceutical, it talk a lot about borders opening and closing, infection rates, Doom calls being unavoidable and all sorts of details about its family but nothing that Sarah could use. “Wait, what about these Doom calls, what are they anyway?”. With a quick google search Sarah discovered it was a cloud-based videoconferencing service. She remembered the Cooks’ words. Could she buy stocks from this company? It took a little bit more of googling for Sarah to figure out how to do this. Three hours later, at four in the morning, with eyes wide open and her heart racing, she had the stock market app open in her phone. She had transferred most of her savings into the app, leaving her with very little to survive on in case this went wrong. She remembered how her father used to say that four in the morning is never a good time to make big life decisions. Then she also thought of how much she wished she had the chance to have kids while her parents were still alive, how much she wished she could have enough to live in her own place, to really start her own adult life. And at the end of the day, her savings were virtually non-existent anyway, “I guess four am is as good as a time as any” she clicked buy, then gasped at her own courage and impulsiveness. Sarah knew this would be a long waiting game and she prepared for it.

25th September 2020, Sarah was exhausted. The pandemic did happen, it was inevitable. After five months in furlough she was fired, however Doom stocks kept on getting higher and higher. She felt now was a good time to sell them all, not only because they could fall in value soon, but because she actually needed the money. She couldn’t believe her eyes when she realized that she made $20.000 by selling them. She wasn’t a millionaire, but she had enough to start a more tranquil and adult life. She had her independence back and she could even help her family and friends who were struggling as well.

For the first time in months she opened the little black book, and for her dismay, the black writing started to disappear in front of her eyes. She closed it and opened it again, thinking her eyes had betrayed her, this time the notebook was completely empty, and suddenly on the first page the following letters appeared “25.09.20 I decided to sell”. Sarah knew, now was the time to write her own story and let the little black book find its way to a new owner.