Why Moaners, Groaners and Screamers Are the Best Women to Bed

A wise friend once said, “No great sex ever started with she was quiet and coy”… He was right.

In the past, I was the type of lover that would lie there motionless with limbs splattered on the bed like a starfish. Why? Because I had perky breasts, a well-groomed vagina, and a pretty face. I thought that was all it took to be great at sex.

I was wrong!

As I grew into my sexuality and embraced it in all its forms, I realized that moaners, groaners, and screamers are the best women to bed. Not only because “men love expressive women” but because these women embody what is needed to heal a sexually starved world. Here are four reasons why vocal women are the best.

#1. Vocal Women Understand the Power of Auditory Stimulation.

In ancient times before, sexuality was considered shameful. Young women were taught the art of moaning; this was not only to arouse men but to increase their own pleasure.

The technique involved releasing coital sounds from the belly and not the throat. When it came from the throat it was high-pitched but when it came from the stomach it was low pitched. These low pitched ‘uh uh uh’ sounds caused a gentle downward pressure on the pelvic floor. This pressure coupled with penetration gave great pleasure, often leading to a g-spot orgasm. The ancient Indian text Kama Sutra dealing with erotica, sexuality, and personal fulfillment gives an extensive guide on how to moan.

When I learned how to moan correctly, it was much easier to relax and be present. I became more aware of my senses and felt entirely in tune with my body. The varying sounds I released were freeing as though years of repressed sexual energy were flowing through me.

Sex became a full-body experience, and my orgasms were more intense.

Many women have benefited from these moaning techniques. A 2015 study conducted by the Faculty of Medicine at Benha University reported that sexual performance was more gratifying for women who vocalized than women who didn’t.

Further concluding that in cases of sexual dysfunction, women should be informed of the importance of coital vocalization and be advised to vocalize for herself and her partner’s satisfaction.

#2. They Hold The Power to Heal Our Sexual Shame

During my “starfish phase”, I hated hearing my neighbor’s bump and grind, but our shared walls were so thin it was inevitable. I could hear her pleasure, his ecstasy, and their headboard banging in rhythm.

Eventually, I grew tired of her pleasure and wrote a letter expressing my displeasure and reminding them of our thin walls.

In my crazy mind, I expected them to resort to quiet, motionless sex, but instead, they moved their sessions earlier. Despite further complaints and anonymous letters… nothing changed.

In hindsight, I’m glad she remained loud and expressive because it forced me to face the enemy within. The truth was my anger and irritation masked the bitterness and shame I felt around my sexuality. When I focused my energy on working on that, things became better.

#3. Vocal Women are Enthusiastic Lovers

They say it takes two to tango. Well, vocal women don’t just do the tango; they bring their A-game. They know that sex is more than just being sexy. Sex involves initiating, moving, moaning, gyrating, grinding, and circluding. They don’t want sex to happen to them; they want to engage in sex.

This enthusiasm is what makes them irresistible. A giggle here, a moan there, a grunt, even a scream is enough to set the mood.

Every human yearns to be wanted, and these coital sounds satisfy that primal need.

A self-report questionnaire involving 100 women revealed that vocal women showed a frequent desire for sex, were likely to try new things in bed, and could lubricate and reach orgasm far easier than non-vocal women.

Today, I can let my freak out with no shame, and it’s all thanks to the moans and screams of the woman next door.

She owned her sexuality and was never afraid to express it. She didn’t fret about what people thought or what the neighbors would say. Her authentic sexual expression healed my shame, and for that, I’m forever grateful.

#4. They Know That No One is a Failure in Bed

Casanova, the greatest lover in history, once said, “the willingness to learn is key to great sex.” Guess what, many men are more than willing to learn ways to satisfy women. Vocal women know this, which is “why no one sucks in bed” some need more coaching than others.

Through mmmmhs and aaaahs, sighs and screams, they mold men into better lovers. “Right there,” “harder,” “slower,” and “faster,” she says. And the best part is that everyone benefits:

• The woman who’s receiving pleasure
• The man who’s acquired a skill.
• The next woman he beds.

I benefited from this ripple effect.

My best oral sex was from a quiet, reserved boy who stuttered when he spoke. His oral technique was so elaborate I knew he couldn’t have learned that from porn. During one of our many pillow talks, I asked him where he learned such skills. He said his former girlfriend coached him extensively in the art of cunnilingus.

He was so good that he used muscle contractions and breathing rates as clues on what to do next. I was honestly blown away every time. Just thinking of him still makes me smile. I’m grateful to the lady who coached him because I learned more about my body while enjoying the best orgasms.

This article was originally published on Medium