The Truth About Anal Sex by Salty Vixen

"Dear Salty Vixen, "I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now and he has told me he wants to try anal sex. I have never done it before, and I’m nervous because I’ve heard about how much it hurts. I am curious though. Can you tell me some truths about anal sex and how to go about it for the first time?" - Thalia, Singapore"

Dear Thalia from Singapore,

Thanks for your question…I can understand you being nervous, and don’t worry, you are not the only one who has ever felt like that when they stand at the precipice of this brand new backdoor adventure.

I know I was very nervous the first time, and also lucky that my partner was understanding and caring. We have all probably heard disturbing stories of how it has gone wrong however, and later in this column I will guide you step-by-step through how to approach the situation to give it the best chance of working for you (if you decide to go through with it of course!).

Speaking 100% for myself, I love anal sex simply due to the fact it offers something completely different than your usual vaginal intercourse…don’t get me wrong, that is still my preference, but anal adds a fantastic string to my sexual bow for times when my partner and I feel like something different. In my opinion, the incredible feelings and sensations particular to anal cannot be experienced in any other way.

I firstly want to say that I know this topic may not be everybody’s cup of tea, and if you have no interest at all in anal sex, then of course that is absolutely to be respected. Everybody is different…what works for me won’t work for someone else, and it would be folly to expect everyone to enjoy anal even if they are careful how they go about it the first time.

In fact, one of the main factors regarding anal sex is the psychological component; that element of “taboo”. To some, the thought is disgusting. To others, the breaking of that “taboo” is one of the major joys of the act. I originally fell into the latter category in that regard, but now I do it solely because of the physical pleasure. There would be many women who might agree with me on that point.

In reality, anal is not that “taboo”, and is something enjoyed by a very significant portion of society. In a survey conducted by Playboy, 47% of men and 61% of women admitted to performing the act at least once. And our old friend Kinsey…the “Father of Sexual Research”…stated that the anal region had erotic significance for around half the population. Even a casual poll of my girlfriends found that roughly half enjoy anal!

So, apart from the feeling of breaking that “taboo” and other psychological components (such as increased intimacy and closeness), what else is the attraction of anal?

Well, probably the biggest turn-on for women are those thousands of nerve endings that populate the area, especially around the actual opening of your bottom (there are plenty inside as well though!).

The wall that separates the rectum and the vagina is thin and very sensitive (lots of nerve endings), and it feels fantastic when stimulated. Also, the feeling of fullness and pressure that comes from having a nice hard penis fitted snugly inside your butt…it’s not something that is easy to describe, but it is an amazing sensation.

It is staggeringly different to vaginal sex, and something that can certainly spice things up in the bedroom. Men love it because of, once again, that feeling of breaking the “taboo”, but also because it is a different sensation for them also…much tighter and more intimate.

Everyone has heard the story of the pain involved in anal…and anybody who tells you that, especially the first time, it doesn’t hurt at least a little is lying. The pain comes from your sphincter muscle going into spasm because of the unprecedented stretch it is experiencing, but the good news is that this can be overcome relatively easily.

The key point here is that you need to be with someone who is prepared to be patient and help you ease into the action! There has to be lots of foreplay to help you relax and build the desire; this is the best way to help that muscle avoid spasm…don’t ever just think you are going to simply lie down and be entered from behind in one fell swoop (not initially anyway!).

Have your partner start with some fingers, slowly and gently. Lots of lube is important to make sure there is no friction or rub which can lead to painful tears. Remember…relax. If the whole process does not feel good then don’t be afraid to abandon the idea, because if you can’t relax then nothing positive is going to come from the experience.

When time comes for your partner to enter your now nicely warmed-up bottom, I recommend the spooning position for first timers. It is comfortable and provides easy access, and will also ensure good opportunity for more strokes, cuddles and kisses.

Have him place the tip of his cock at your rear entrance…I need to emphasize lots of lube again…then slowly push in. Take it in little steps...small push, pause, relax…small push, pause, relax…going at a comfortable pace dictated by you. Let him go as far in as you like, and just hold that position until you are completely at ease.

From there, the rest is up to you. I prefer gentle fucking of my backside because I love the sensation of tightness and fullness when my partner is fully inside me. Sometimes some harder pounding is called for, but don’t be too quick to rush to this level of intensity to soon. Gradually increasing the pace is the best way.

Remember these important points:

• Refuse to tolerate pain

• Never use force or accept abuse/lack of consideration/disrespect

• Practice safe sex

• Foreplay. Foreplay. Foreplay.

• Warm up you butt!

• You dictate the action

• Always use lots of good lube

• Be mindful of positioning

• Especially initially, plan the occasion so you can be fully prepared to avoid discomfort or embarrassment (ie: make sure you have gone to the toilet and emptied yourself out beforehand!)

• Patience is a virtue…and a necessity!

Best of luck entering the sensual and forbidden world of anal Thalia!

XXX- Salty Vixen, owner of https://www.saltyvixenstories.com