Smoking Mirrors

Months have gone by and everything feels so right. We started spending time with each other’s family. We were doing everything with each other except working hard and being honest. Yep, love was blinding my ass from the ultimate truth that’s Travis ain’t shit. I mean this mother fucker couldn’t keep a job to save his life. I couldn’t keep going with someone that couldn’t even provide for himself, but every time I tried to let go Travis gave me an excuse as to why I should stay. He fed me empty promises that love stupidity allowed myself to believe.

Love made me accept his broke ass for what he was. Love had me thinking he was low maintenance anyways and he made me feel so free which was something money can't buy. I would dodge men that could provide the world just to be with Travis. My heart and mind were conflicted, but at the end of the day my heart would always win. This is when it started to become toxic and dark. Travis slowly started changing right before. We went from being around each other all the time to only chilling right before bed. At this point I need the space because the constant heart/ mind battle was overwhelming. Travis started being home by 9pm to 4am in the morning. This is when I question, Who is she? Who is taking Travis attention?

These questions kept circling in my mind till I decided to search Travis' phone. I started in his message nothing, his pictures nothing, then I decided to go on social media. Ding ding ding, omg Travis was an attention whore. I mean he has messages after. 17 good morning texts in and there she was the problem at least I thought she was. Her name was Gabriella. Based on her profile picture she was nothing compared to me. She was basic and trashy however Travis wanted to know if she was interested in him. I was livid Travis how could you? How could you desire someone else when I have so much to offer.

One thing about me I’m Miss. Petty Bitch so I wasn’t going to yell or fight with him. I’m going to give him a taste of his own medicine. I mean this SOB doesn't know who he was playing with. Yep, I'm a Heart Eater, remember . So I put my ringer on as loud as it can be. I text all my old hoes, men and women then wait. One thing I know was for sure they will hit me back. 10 minutes later the pings went off. 5 pings in Travis said, “Who’s that? Why are they texting you so much?” I laughed then said, “You doing you so I’m doing me” I thought Travis would get mad, but instead he displayed a demeanor of being hurt. Somehow somewhere I started to feel guilty. Travis said, “What so you mean? How could you? “ I told him that I seen the messages on his social media. He hit me with the classic, They mean nothing Blah, Blah, Blah. Cliché words of a player and just like that I fell for it.

Week has past and we were at his family house. While I was distracted by all the family and fun Travis disappeared. When I noticed I began to ask everyone where did he go, but no one seemed to know his where abouts. All of sudden I got a niggle to look out back and there he was standing there with a woman that looks like Gabriella. So I walked up to both of them. Oh yep it was going down. I was calling bitches and hoes, but she remains quit. She didn’t say anything instead Travis was the one yelling at me telling me to calm down. He try explain that she was a twin and that his brother girlfriend. I felt stupid. Because she was a twin and her name was Gina. Gabriella came around the corner ready to fight me tell me not yell at her sister. That night was big mess. Even thought I was yelling at the wrong person something still didn’t seem right. Travis is cheating and I know I just didn’t who she was. The cheating arguments got worst and our relationship was slowly falling apart.

The disappearing acted because Travis thing. I would try to find someone to cheat back with but I would feel guilty because I didn’t have proof that he was actually cheating. I just know something ain’t right. One night Travis didn’t come home at all. I started to cry. I decide to call a mutual friend that told me everything she thought she knew. She told me that Travis has been sleep with Gabby for months. I called his sister to comfort, but did say anything. All she kept sayings I don’t know. His sister damn well what Travis was doing. When I comfort Travis about he told me it wasn’t true that he was not sleeping Gabriella and the mutual friend was lying. He told the mutual friend only told me that because she wanted to sleep with. So I let him call her up and just like Travis said she flirting with and tell him that I was cheating. Wow what a bitch! I realize that now one could be trusted at this point.

Man this situation had me praying y’all. I prayed for God to show me the truth. For the next few months all me and Travis did was argue he said I was a paranoid bitch. That I was crazy accusing of doing something that he is not doing. Bills are piling up and tears are falling, but I desired was us to go back when things was good. Few more months of tears and argument my prayers were answered. This bitch was right under my nose, but I was to full of myself to see who it was all along. Things have a strange way of releasing themselves. I couldn’t believe who dis bitch was!