Pleasure and guilt

After spending the whole afternoon sightseeing, we decided to check out the nightlife. It was one of those places where the weather demands that you take baths constantly and, if possible, live in the fresh water of the rivers. It was my first time in a place like that so I wasn't used to it and I was constantly tired, but at least the night gave me a break. I ended up fitting into a mid-thigh skirt and a short t-shirt. The denim jacket didn't keep me warm enough, although the weather wouldn't demand more from me. We took this trip as a way to say goodbye. After this time, everyone would go their own way, so it was nostalgic and at the same time we wanted to leave everything behind so that it would be unforgettable.

We met the guys who were sleeping in another room in the park opposite the hostel. One of them had recently gotten engaged, so he would have to start preparing for the wedding when he got back. We all agreed that we were too young for that, but he said he really loved her. To me it was a smokescreen. I could never prove it, but I guess he could have gotten his girlfriend pregnant and that's where the urgency came from. Whatever the motivation was, it didn't make sense either, after all he took advantage of every opportunity he had to touch me and hug me, make jokes and turn the conversation to very sexual topics, as well as always watching me with the predatory look that every woman knows. Despite being aware of all this, I hadn't set a definitive limit. In part I liked feeling his desire for me knowing that he had a girlfriend and knowing that at the slightest opportunity he wouldn't hesitate to betray her; and on the other hand, I knew that if I gave up my future it would be the same as the one I was giving way to. I preferred the morbidity of that game and to leave the fantasy of giving in to my moments alone when my body demanded pleasure. I won't deny it, he had always been the first in my thoughts when I needed to touch myself. He had put that in my head in a game of truth or dare, and since then I couldn't help but do it. Many nights I ended up in ecstasy moaning his name and the next day I would look at him with a kind of shame and doubt as to whether he could have ever done it too.

That night he kept staring at my legs and took every opportunity to grab me by the waist as we walked through the crowd at the club. As the drinks arrived this became more frequent. I'm one of those people who needs some alcohol to be able to let myself go so when a couple of guys came to ask her to dance she didn't hesitate to go. I kept drinking with the guys, playing the odds game. As with every occasion the questions started to get more sexual. I felt embarrassed at first, but little by little I felt myself becoming more and more uninhibited. Suddenly I felt the touch of his fingers on my knee and how they moved up my leg. I moved my leg away and when I looked at him he just looked amused and had that look that made me shiver. I decided it was time to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. When I returned everyone was already dancing. He looked at me with a flirtatious smile while a girl wiggled her butt against him. I laughed and went back to our seats. I was lighting a cigarette when a guy approached me asking for one. He was totally my type and he was quick to ask me to dance. He turned out to be one of the friends who had invited my friends. So we got together and when we wanted a change of scenery we were guided by them to another place. Along the way I got to know this new guy better . I watched as my friend shamelessly touched one of the group of them who was a little more drunk, but she looked like she was enjoying it. She was laughing with that silly little laugh we put on when we like someone. I could visualize how they would eat each other up that night.

For my part, the guy I met was very nice, he had come to visit his parents, but he lived in my city. At the other club, already getting to know each other better, I really enjoyed the dancing. We got into it and played constantly. I thought that I definitely wouldn't mind finishing him off tonight and so it was. They invited us to continue to one of their friends' house and we all went. The chemistry between the new guy and I was undeniable. They made jokes, but they didn't bother me. He was really everything I would have wanted. With the excuse of smoking and clearing the concentrated atmosphere we went to the room that the owner of the house had prepared. His touch was sweet and affectionate. His kisses made me sigh and his touch made every part of my body shiver. I pulled up my shirt and bra to carefully kiss each breast while I moved my hips on his legs rubbing against his crotch that already felt hard. He made me sit up and while he was kissing my stomach he slid my thong down my legs. Watching that scene consumed me completely. I pushed him away and pulled up my skirt. When I got on top of him and felt him inside me, I approached him, bringing our foreheads together. I felt the heat of his agitated breathing on my face and a wave of pleasure invaded me when I heard him moan next to me. I finished and gently settled myself in his arms. I fell exhausted and satisfied. His sweet words echoed in my head and his soft caresses gave me peace. He covered us with a sheet and we both fell asleep.

I woke up and it was still dark. I didn't recognize who had come in, but from the laughter and murmurs I realized that they were dropping off two people who I imagine were already very drunk. He hadn't woken up and he was still hugging me. Although I loved feeling his skin, the heat was killing me so I moved away a little which was enough to wake him up. I asked what was going on and they said they were going to get food. It was really late and none of the people there were in good condition so he told me he would accompany them so nothing would happen to them. I thought it was a sweet gesture and remembering how my friends were when they drank gave me relief to know that he would be there to take care of them. It's not that they can't do it, but sometimes I got tired of playing that role because of the "what if." So I went back to sleep.

I woke up to the sheet rising from my body. “Why did you leave me lying in the yard? I’m freezing,” the person said. It was my friend, the one I was engaged to be with. I felt his hand cross my waist and his legs tangle around mine. It wasn’t something we hadn’t done before. On some occasions on our trips we had all slept together, so despite complaining about the coldness of his body, I didn’t push him away.

– You haven’t wasted your time, have you? – He said as he put his hand between my legs and grabbed my pussy. I closed my legs automatically and opened my eyes suddenly, I saw my bra peeking out from the neck of my shirt, my skirt bunched up around my waist and his hand wedged into mine. When I looked at him he was smiling with a perverted smile, a smile I had seen so many times, but at that moment I could finally clearly decipher all its nuances. I instinctively pulled his hand and moved away from him. – You turned out to be quite the slut – I felt horror when he said those words and at the same time an attraction that I couldn’t explain. He came closer again, and tried to fit his hand between my legs again. I was clenching my thighs with all my strength and trying to think of a way out of this. He was definitely drunk and I wasn’t recovered from the whole night before either. It must have been six in the morning, there must have been someone awake besides us, I thought – Why don’t you open them? Come on, you’ll like it. There was a mixture of desire, fear and at the same time confusion in me. What was happening didn’t seem real. I could only say enough and grabbed his hand. As I tried to move my body away by pushing myself with my legs, I released the pressure from my thighs. He was faster than me and managed to slip his leg between mine, holding me by the back. I tried to push him away and began to move, pushing his chest with my hands and kicking to get rid of his leg and the pressure he was putting against my slit. He pressed me closer to him. My pussy began to react to the friction of the movement and my hips moved dissociated from my mind.

His eyes locked on mine as the sensations shook every inch of my body, destroying all my resistance. I felt like my orgasm was just around the corner. Suddenly the pressure of his grip eased and the pressure against my crotch dissipated. I came to and turned around quickly, embarrassed by what had happened. I told him not to touch me and that it was best for him to leave.

- You don't want me to touch you? Then why didn't you let go of my leg? - He said, laughing softly and in a deep voice. Confused, I even wondered if the pressure I had been feeling was exerted by him or, as he said, generated by me rubbing myself against him. Maybe I was a whore like he said.

Heat filled my face and I felt myself blushing at those thoughts. I turned away to avoid looking at him and squeezed my legs together once I was fully lying on my back. The feeling of moisture coming out of my crack made me blush even more. The mix of shame, heat, confusion and fear overwhelmed any normal response to everything that was happening. Suddenly his hand lifted my shirt and began to massage my breasts. He moved from right to left incessantly and along the way my nipples gradually became hard. The only phrase that came out of my lips was “don’t touch me” while that hand played around pinching me.

- I'm just caressing you. Don't you like it? Is it because your tits are out of your bra? - He whispered in my ear. His lips brushed against mine, making me even more excited. When I turned around, I saw his face, hot and flirtatious. In the space between us, I could see how he had taken out his cock and had it hard, pointing towards me while he was jerking it off. His hand squeezed one of my tits hard and my moan of pain was mitigated by his lips. As his tongue entered my lips, the memory of the boy's kisses from the night before came to my mind. I remembered how sweet his touch was, how gentle his caresses were and how attentive he had been to me. I felt dirtier than ever. After having been with someone so sweet, I found myself with a pervert who didn't hesitate to take advantage of my half-nakedness, who didn't care about his fiancée or respect me as a friend.

For a moment, anger was stronger than everything. I pushed him and jumped out of bed. I ran to the bathroom while I arranged my clothes. Apparently there was no one else in that house. Nausea was beginning to creep into the pit of my stomach. I turned on the faucet and drank water from my hands. The door closed behind me and when I turned around he was there. It was enough to see the bulge in his pants and his gaze on my body to understand what was going to happen. A tremor ran through my body and turned into waves of pain when he threw me to the floor. He positioned himself between my legs, opening them. I felt his wet fingers make their way into my pussy. Even though I was a little wet, the violence of the situation caused me intense pain, but nothing compared to the pain that came when his cock opened me completely. It was medium-sized but very thick . I moaned from the pain and he from the pleasure. His hand rested on my mouth, although I wasn't going to scream, it was of no use to me now. The thrusts were fast and erratic, my breasts hurt from being crushed under the weight of our bodies and I could only open my legs wider so he could finish it all at once. It felt good, the pleasure of the act made me moan slightly, then my whole body reacted to the stimulation they were giving me.

My mind wandered to how bad the situation was, but how good it felt at the same time. - Do you like it when I fuck you like the little bitch you are? - My involuntary moans encouraged him and his movement became faster each time. - You are my little bitch... my little whore... mine. The movements slowed down and I closed my eyes hoping that this was all a bad dream. Suddenly he pulled out and turned me around. He pounced on my breasts while his fingers slipped inside me again and triggered me causing my juices to sound inside me. The sound of my own forced excitement made me more self-conscious and made me close my legs, causing me more pleasure without wanting to. His hand on my mouth squeezed me tightly when I began to moan loudly feeling the hard suckers on my already sore nipples. Listening to my skin being sucked and bruised by him along with the sounds of my slit confirmed what a slut I was. How did I enjoy something like that?

On the verge of tears, he sat up on top of me and, lifting one leg on his shoulder, he nailed it into me again. He entered like a hot iron that burned and burned me. My body felt so sore that I didn't notice when his hand slid from my mouth to my neck. The pressure was slowly leaving me without air. I tried to take my hand away, but that only made him press harder. His disfigured face showed the pleasure he was feeling and it was a reflection of mine as well. My hips moved without me being able to control them and with each penetration my little slit closed more and more around his hard cock. The speed increased and the pressure of his hand on my neck gave me the sensation of intensifying everything more. I felt like I had peed from how wet everything under me felt, but it was only the excitement that everything he did to me had caused my body. The last blows to my pussy left me full of milk. He fell on top of me and kissed my lips. I couldn't move from everything I had experienced. - Do you like it, bitch? - He said to me. My body was no longer mine, and it was an impulse from deep within me. - Yes - I said in a small voice. A pleasure as intense as the guilt of enjoying it invaded me and made me close my eyes tightly. I imagined him smiling when I felt his proximity to my chest and the suction that would surely leave another mark on me. He stood up and left, closing the door behind him.

When I finally got the strength to stand up, I saw myself in the mirror. I had purple hickeys on my tits, the mark of his hand on my left tit, and his finger prints around my neck, a less intense color than on my chest. They'll go away in a couple of days, I can hide them with my hair, was my first thought and I smiled as I caressed those marks. I touched my crack. My entrance felt sore and the whole area was very wet, as was my ass, a mixture of milk and pussy drool. The voices outside brought me back to reality. I turned on the shower and started pinching myself a little between the more continuous finger marks to unify them and remove the appearance of fingers. I would tell my new boyfriend that he had gone a little too far the night before.