Necrophilia

Ah, nights like this.

When the cold air is like a child, playing around in my hair.

Resting its head on my bosom as it sleeps.

These nights I often lay with my love and we counted the time that passed after we had made love.

And the cold, flowing through me. Possessing my body after I’ve made love.

My eyes roll into the back of my skull.

And my body contorts and shakes with violent vigour.

After my lover is done with me, her head is as the coldness of night, resting on my chest.

I’m paraplegic though, and not a muscle do I move, for lack of ability to do so.

The cold renders me a stiff and still carcass.

Warm, yet dead; waiting for the opportunity to be used.

And my lover cuddles me until she decides I am to have life through my vein flowing once more.

Yes, on nights like this. When the cold air is crisp.

With its powers of possession.

I cherish these random bouts of life.

Otherwise, I am merely a corpse.

She keeps me in her freezer in the basement until her urges plague her at night.

Then she warms me up and lets the air bring me back to life.

Only to use me, screw me, then let me die again.

This, a torturous fate, I am forced to live again and again.

INT. NIGHT, ELLE’S APARTMENT

We begin in Joshua & Elle’s apartment, Small 1 bedroom. The two are lovers (longtime). Joshua’s skin is cold as ice, His features slightly Navy blue.

I wrote that when I first knew what she did. Ellie, oh Ellie. She's not even like that, all beautiful and crazy. It's actually kind of funny. That's not even how her little voodoo spell works. She does have to keep me cold, but she doesn't lock me in a fucking freezer. That'd be outrageous. I mean, when people come over, I do hop in the freezer.

My Ellie is wonderful. She always was.

We stared at one another in the kitchen. It was freezing cold. I sat down, smiling yet conflicted.

JOSHUA

“I’m probably gonna be fired today.”

ELLE

“Well, at least you get to live rent free now.”

JOSHUA

“Nah, I bet they’re gonna call tomorrow like, ‘Oh, He’s dead? I DON’T CARE, GET HIS ASS IN HERE FOR THIS SHIFT. HE’S FIRED BY THE WAY.’”

They burst out in laughter

ELLE

“Damn Joshua, how you get fired on your day off?”

They both laugh harder in unison.

Before long we had been shedding tears; how hard we were laughing. I moved towards her, I move extremely slow.

JOSHUA

“Alexa. Play ‘Valentine’s Day Playlist’.”

She giggles.

ELLE

“You’re corny. You made me a playlist?”

JOSHUA

“Wow, you’re so trash. You haven’t even given it a chance yet.”

They hug. Listening to the music, naked.

My forehead pressed to hers, her nose felt so soft, just like her skin. We closed our eyes. Moving to the music.

THESE BITCHES WANT NIKES.

THEY LOOKING FOR A CHECK.

TELL EM IT AIN’T LIKELY…

SAID SHE NEED A RING LIKE CARMELO.

MUST BE ON THAT WHITE LIKE OTHELLO…

It was freezing. But she kept me warm enough. I could feel her heart beating, and the sound itself warmed me inside. We fell on the bed, Our clothes seemed to melt off, as we melted into each other. We made love for thirty minutes. Thirty, long minutes. I listened to the sounds of the trees blowing with the wind, the leaves rustling in the breeze. The air was crisp and stiffened me. It was around that time again. A long, slithery breeze slid in through the screen on the window. Creeping through my body. I turned my head to look at my Ellie. She’d become a monster. My body became stiff. And my eyes fixed open. I was frozen. Ellie smiled, rubbing my cold lifeless face, dragging my body to the deep freezer she had downstairs. She cleaned up a bit afterwards.

🎔

INT. ELLE’S APARTMENT

LEY, GIGI, AND JENN (Elle’s Friends) surround ELLE in a circle of sorts on her sectional couch. All have large wine glasses, all are halfway finished.

GIGI

“How’ve you been El?”

ELLE

“I’m okay. Just taking things day by day ya know? Nothing too much. I go back to work tomorrow. So that’ll distract me.”

LEY

“He’d be so proud of you babe. And yeah, work will be good for you. Get you out of this house. Out into the world again.”

JENN

“You just want El to be a hoe again.”

GIGI

“Oh my god! That’s so fucked up.”

ELLE

“Who said I ever stopped gals?”

They all erupted in laughter. Elle is grateful Jenn bailed her out of the pow wow. A good assist. They kept it light and funny for a good two hours. The focus of the conversation fell towards Ley and her boyfriend, Gigi and her husband and her job and her kids. Jenn talked a bit about dating young guys and they joked about how she gives cougar vibes. It was a good time.

LEY

“El, if you ever need someone to talk to. You know I’m here.”

ELLE

“I know Ley. I know. Let me know when you get home.”

Elle seemingly rushes Ley out the door but disguises it well. Beat. Then hurriedly walk-runs towards the basement door.

The nightly breeze was coming in, she opened up the freezer for me. Makes it easier to get out and get about the house. I couldn’t get hot or even room temperature. I had to stay cold to be alive. The spell is only active at night, the breeze helps. I don’t know exactly how it works to be honest. Sometimes I miss death. I guess that’s weird… right?

I hope not, coming alive might sound fun but it’s fucking torture. My spine and arm realign, my body cracks together again. It’s painful. And being freezing cold all night isn’t pleasant. At. All.

🎔

Her hair blew in that wind. It was amazing. Vexing, even. I sat down, writing about the way her curvaceous figure inspired intimidation. We rubbed and caressed one another.

Her skin was smoother than velvet. I stood up in the doorway, I couldn’t get the thoughts out of my head. But I didn’t want to ruin the mood. She was here, I was here, this what I wanted. I shifted towards her slowly and pressed my forehead gently to hers. She got goosebumps from my icy skin.

“Ever been this in love with a corpse before?”

“Ever been cold as ice but rock hard anyway?”

We laughed.

“Wanna hear my poem? Been writing it in my head while the girls were over. It’s about you.”

“Sure. Only if you read it to me naked.”

“Me naked or you?”

“Both.”

“Ah. Of course.”

I scurried my pants and boxers off. Shirt always comes last. She draped her clothes off effortlessly, must’ve been planning this.

Joshua has such a sing-song voice, that him reading his poem is almost like hearing a siren lure you in. My pussy gets wetter and wetter with every stanza he utters. I danced and sipped wine. And shook my butt in his face while he tried to stay focused. By the end of the poem the wine had kicked in and I was sitting down with his beautiful curly hair in my lap, rubbing his face, dragging my stilettos softly across his skin. The hairs on his neck stood up. He sipped his wine, it was chilled for him. My baby can’t get too warm or the spell will break.

Think we were better off solo,

I got that act right in the windy city that night

No trees to blow through but blow me and I owe you, two grams when the sun rise. Solo.

It’s hell on earth and the city’s on fire in hell in hell there’s heaven, there’s a bull and a matador dueling in the sky in hell in hell there’s heaven.

My face was sullen. Her skin was so cold, not like mine. But cold nonetheless. We made hot, heavy, intense love. I laid beside her, feeling the spell expiring. I stroked her face, a tear coming down my face. I knew she couldn’t hear me in her sleep. But I spoke to her while I still could anyway. In hopes of nothing, just a blank slate to vent.

“I love you so much. So, so, so so much. I wish you could feel my love. It’s so deep baby. So deep.” I sighed heavily.

“I wake up, and everything hurts. Everything stings. I can’t eat yet my stomach hurts so bad because I’m so hungry. I hate how cold everything has to be. It hurts so much baby. But I know you did it because you love me. But it hurts so much.” I had to stop, I didn’t wanna shed a tear.

I quickly wiped it away and kissed her as the breeze came in and killed me once again.

🎔

The Next Day…

“I’m just saying what are we gonna do? You can’t keep me like this forever, El.”

“Oh my fucking God! I feel like I’m the only one who gives a shit in this fucking relationship! I did this for YOU, I did this because all I want is to be with YOU! I love you so much, and this relationship means so much to me. But all you can do is fucking complain! I didn’t have to do this!”

“Do you even care how this makes ME feel? I’m in PAIN! I can barely eat, I’m sick of eating ice cream and freezer burned food. I’m sick of my limbs twisting and breaking every time I fucking die and wake back up again! I can’t even be here with you when your friends come over! I gotta hide in the freezer like we’re kids or something. I’m not saying I’m not grateful for what you did, I want to be with you but baby how is this gonna work? How is it gonna work, how how how how how how HOW?”

She started to cry, I hate it when she cries.

“You just hurt me every time we talk about this. I just want to be happy in this relationship and I feel like you don’t care about how I think.”

“I DO! Of course I care, how could you say that?!”

“You just hurt me-”

“I’M HURTING GODDAMNIT!”

Josh threw a glass at the wall and it scared me. He hit a wall and it broke his fingers. He couldn’t feel it. I couldn’t bring back his nerves, only the brain and the body. But I can tell it hurt him. It hurt me to see him do that. I ran over by our fireplace and cried. Then ran in my room and shut the door, locking it. He really scared me. I thought he was going to hurt me. I’ve been abused before, and that kind of shit scares me. It makes me panic. I don’t know what he might want to do to me. I give him life and all the time in the world. And it isn’t enough for him. He’s so ungrateful. I think I cried myself to sleep. So much pain, all I want is to be happy. Why is that so fucking hard? I just wish people cared about my feelings.

When I hit the wall I closed my eyes, I knew that was the breaking point with El. She did as I expected, ran in her room and cried. I went into the basement, I’ve timed the breeze to a pinpoint. It was coming anyway. I waited for it. I sat in the freezer, yelling to myself. I didn’t have the vulnerability to shed a tear. I think that died with me too. This is going to eat us alive. I can’t stay alive. This isn’t fair. To me, or her. I do this, because I love her. This won’t fix anything. She doesn’t care, but I got to show her. I got to. The breeze is here, it hurts. It always hurts.

Please wait up for me till whenever I get home.

I know that you're all alone.

Thinking bout what you gone do.

I hope that you see it through…

🎔

One Week Later… We’ve been at ends for awhile now. Sometime we’re just silent, I’ll be thinking about how life was with her in the beginning, how everything used to be. She’ll always ask me what’s wrong and what’s on my mind, but I can’t tell her. Everytime I do open up we argue and fight. I’ve tried to kill myself but It doesn’t work, the spell keeps me alive regardless of the world’s touch as long as I’m cold. I’ve been secretly planning my own suicide. It’s not so much out of misery as it is about her. She’s broken, I can see it in her eyes that she’s miserable. Torn between trying to save this relationship by keeping me alive longer than God intended, and trying to keep me happy on the platform of love. Ignoring the logic, blind to reason. It’s obsession, it’s Monophobia. I saw it in the mail when she was at work. I should’ve realized, I feel like shit. I don’t deserve to be here. I’m just sitting here, in this freezer, rotting, re-animating, then taking up more space. I feel like I’m just a waste. Useless. I’m killing her by being dead, and I’m killing her more by being alive. But this has to end, for both of our own sakes. She needs more… she deserves more.

She said “what if I dive deep?”

Will you come in after me?

Would you share your flaws with me?

Let me know

I told her “Thinking is all wrong. Love will happen when it wants.”

I know it hurts sometimes but don’t

...

Let it go.

He’s been so distant. I wish he’d speak to me. It’s been nothing but how this isn’t good for me, and how much he cares about me and all this shit. But he’s so fucking ungrateful. I brought him back because I love him. I need him. He’s the only person I have. I mean I love my parents, and my siblings. But those bitches aren’t really my friends, they only hangout with me because I provide wine. I’m so fucking alone. And it hurts all. The. time. I just really love him and need this to work. I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t. I don’t want anyone else but him. I love him so fucking much. I feel like I’m losing him. I can feel him slipping through my fingers and I don’t know why. I love him, I support him. I do everything I possibly can for him and still it isn’t enough. I’d do anything for that fucking boy…. Anything. This can’t end. It can’t. He’s everything I have. He’s everything I want. He just needs to see I’m everything he needs… who was there to comfort his mother when he died? ME. Whose helping his sibling out with fucking school? ME. Who still comes around his grandparent’s house to check up on them? ME. I fucking love that boy and all he does is fucking complain and be sad. He doesn’t even know what I’ve done for him, there’s like a ton of people who’d do anything to live longer than they should. He should be thanking me. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck man.

She said “What if I tell you all the things I’ve done?”

Would you run away from me?

I told her “baby we got bags full of shit we don’t want.” But I can’t unpack it for you baby.

She said “what if I dive deep?”

Will you come in after me?

Would you share your flaws with me?

Let me know

I told her “Thinking is all wrong. Love will happen when it wants.”

I know it hurts sometimes but don’t

...

Let it go.

Today’s the day…. Or night. Whatever. I acted like nothing was wrong tonight. I kissed her more… or like I used to at least. I did space out for a bit, I thought of everything. Missing her would hurt like hell. Dying would too. But I did it anyway. I did a special date for my baby girl. Candlelight dinner on her patio. The farthest I can go. The wind hurts, but feels so beautiful, just as life should be. We ate, laughed, kissed, hugged, and then came the moment. We’re spooning…

Josh is so fucking sweet today. It’s like a 180. He had all this positive energy, it was like when we first met. Relief isn’t the word. It is nice to not argue or act like we hate each other for once. This dinner is like, melting my heart. I’m falling in love with him all over again. It feels like poetry. It probably is. It’s probably a cliche too. Fuck it. I turned on Netflix and made him play big spoon. Those cold ass hands, if he’s lucky, he’ll be dying tonight… after he cums in my mouth.

I kissed her, just out of nowhere, now was the time. I licked every part of her. I didn’t want to waste too much time, I didn’t have much of it. But I had to make it the best. I went down on Elie for awhile, until she came everywhere. I kept going, grabbing her hands so she couldn’t push me off. I ate that pussy until my jaw locked. She came three times. Then we got to the fucking.

His dick feels so thick inside me, I remember it took me weeks to get used to it when we first starting dating. That seems like so long ago. Like ages. Oh he feels so good, my pussy is getting destroyed by a dead man, and somehow all I can do is cum and scream his name. He must be planning something, he always does the most when he wants to make a grand gesture. Maybe he’s got a special gift for me. As if this dick wasn’t enough of a gift. Human heart eyes right now.

We went on for nearly an hour. Nonstop. I fucked her soul away. By the time we were done we were exhausted, breathing heavily. I fell over beside her. Holding her hand, making sure she stayed awake. But she couldn’t. She was out. But I felt like talking to her anyway, these would be my last words.

“I know you’re not gonna understand this at first baby. I know you’re gonna hate me. But I hope one day you realize what I’ve done. Cause I really love you. And I do this out of love for you… out of love for us.”

Fuck it was hard to talk. I barely had air left in my chest.

“I love you, El. And I know you love me too. But this thing we have isn’t love. It’s obsession, sick mangled obsession. It’s a mistreatment of real love you see.”

I coughed hard. It was starting to happen.

“Love isn’t holding on until you can’t hold on anymore. It’s not a rope you cling onto for dear life. Love is having something. It is commitment, but love is also letting go. It’s not only physical, El. It’s spiritual too. I’ll never leave you, not even in death. I’m always here with you.”

Blood. Shit.

“Even in death. Love lives. In your heart. In your heart is where I’ll be. And you don’t need a spell for true love like that baby. You really don’t. This isn’t goodbye. It’s just a separation. If there’s life in the end, we’ll live within endless love there. With no confines at all.”

My body was warm enough. My heart was stopping. Her head was laid on my chest. I don’t really know if she heard all that. But I already had the note saying everything anyway. But it means more saying it to her. I slipped away silently, the last thing being that pretty hair, laying on my sweaty skin. Ah, a good death.

🎔

I dosed off for a second. It took me a minute to see what had happened. I shouted and screamed for him to wake up. No use. He had a note. That fucking bastard. That fucking bastard. I couldn’t stop. I was too tired to move. I could only lay my head there on his chest, and let the tears do their thing. I can’t stop crying. My tears flooded the bed.

Visions of gideon.

Visions of gideon.

Visions of gideon.

Visions of Gideon.

Visions of Gideon.

Visions of Gideon.

Is it a video?

Is it a video?

Is it a video?

Is it a video?

Dear Elie,

Love is never lost. Therefore it’ll never be hard to find. Nor will you ever lose me. For even in death, I am here with you. Loving you. You are never alone with Love. You are never alone. I promise.

My Love,

Joshua.

2 days Later…

I love you….

I love you…..

I love you….

I love you….

Joshua really left me. He really did it. That no good, ungrateful, spineless, asshole. That fucking asshole. I brought him back because I love him, and he says this bullshit in a letter. But isn’t man enough to be here with me. Isn’t man enough to comfort me. Isn’t man enough. He’s no man. Men stick by their women, no matter what. He wants to be dead so he can gallop about without me, but no one leaves me. I put years into this fucking relatioship, we’ve been through it all. Fuck. I’m crying. Fuck I can’t stop crying. I find myself staring at the body in the freezer all day. I’m a mess. Staring at some asshole who doesn’t even want me. I don’t want to let him go… he’s my baby. Josh was my baby.

You’ll love me….

I got wine drunk and passed out, but when I woke up later in the day I started searching for my book. I know there had to be something in that fucking thing. Momma had a spell for everything. It took hours, literal hours. The book didn’t have too much on bringing back a soul that’s already passed. But then again this was just one book. And mamma was dead. But I know where I can get more information. I drove about thirty minutes to the biggest mall in our city. There’s this… “head shop” that my auntie owns, she can help me.

“Welcome to Shyla’s Light, how may I help you?”

“Hi, May I speak to your manager? Is She in?” Ew, I sound like one of those angry soccer moms.

“Yeah, let me go get her. Are you here for an interview?”

“No, was stopping by, I’m her niece. Wanted to see her. I hope that’s okay.”

“No you’re fine. I’ll get her, one second.”

She’s cute. I wonder if people ever come here. It doesn’t seem like the kind of thing I’d be into. But I guess potheads need a haven. Even downtown. My aunt Shyla came out of the bead curtains, she looked pretty as ever. She was always pretty as ever. Prettier than anything I’d ever seen. She greeted me with open arms, and a wide smile.

“Chile, come back here. C’mon.”

We went behind the bead curtain into a small, narrow hallway with three rooms. A restroom, supplies closet, and Shyla’s personal room, where she monitored the security screens and did the employee payroll. She grabbed a rolling tray that was halfway covered with weed. We sat down on the very comfortable couch chairs.

“Pass me those, baby.” my aunt asked, signaling to the pack of rolling papers. I obeyed.

“Thank ya. So. To what do I owe the pleasure chile.”

“I just came to see how you were doing. Maybe ask you a favour or two.”

“I know you came here especially for the favour. You didn’t come just to smoke you some weed. What is it ya’ need, chile?”

She used a match to light the joint. Took a nice, hearty two puffs then passed it to me.

“Auntie, I need another book.”

“Now what happened to the one, ya mother gave ya? God rest her soul, that was one of her most prized possessions. Don’t ya tell me you’ve lost it now.”

I passed it back.

“No It’s just. She gave it to me for a spell. A specific one, but it doesn’t work anymore. So I needed a new one. I promise I can give it back to you once I’m done.”

“Is this about Josh, baby?”

I looked at the ground.

“Baby, anyone could’ve told you that wasn’t gonna work. You can keep a person for as long as you want. Don’t matter how much they think they’re in love with you. The dead always begin to miss their time. Because it’s just that; They’re time.”

“Auntie please. I’ll pay you! I need this. Please Auntie.”

“How’d the spell wear off last time?”

She passed it back to me. I took it leisurely, taking my time with it.

“He didn’t want to stay with me. He was confused. But he ain’t leaving me. He isn’t leaving me Shyla.”

“Ellie, you can’t force a person to love you. Much less a full grown man! They are gonna make their decision eventually. More than often against your wishes.”

“Shyla, he doesn’t know what he wants. He owes it to me! He owes his love to me.”

I teared up, handed her back the joint. I couldn’t contain myself.

“I need him, Auntie. I love him. I love my baby. I love my baby.” I said I wasn’t gonna cry, but I did.

My aunt looked at me pitifully, tearing up in spite of herself. She put the joint in an ashtray and came over to comfort me. I buried my face in her bosom and bawled out. This lasted for a few long minutes. Then silence filled the room. And I felt empty, alone, without meaning. I felt so horrible. I didn’t even want the book anymore. I just wanted to die. I don’t know if it was the weed, or just my own depression. But everything felt deflated without Joshua. Deflated and without substance. I got up to leave.

“It’s okay, Auntie. Nevermind.”

The drive home felt like a death sentence. In a way, I think it was going to end up being one by the time I got home.

Is it a video?

Is it a video?

Is it a video?

I have loved you for the last time

Visions of gideon

Visions of gideon

And i have kissed you for the last time

Visions of gideon

Visions of gideon

I had no air left in me by the time I got to the door. I felt weightless. That was probably the weed. I didn’t notice my aunt following me, I was too high. I went in and threw my keys somewhere. Beelined straight for the refrigerator, taking out my wine. Today was going to be my last. If I didn’t pass out first, then tomorrow would be. I didn’t care. Josh’s note was in my wallet, I dug it out and just read it. Drinking straight out of the bottle. My auntie came in after me, I forgot to close and lock the door. I was too high to be surprised she was here. I just passed her the bottle when she came to sit down. She drank then gave me a hug. I hugged her back. Still tearing up. She took a swig and passed the bottle back, we took turns.

“Is he still here?” she asked

“Mhmm, downstairs. In a freezer. I don’t know what to do with him. I can’t bear to look at him like that. Knowing he’s gone.”

She placed a big, thick book on the table. I only noticed it by the loud thudding sound.

“There’s nothing I want more than to see my niece happy, chile. I’m telling you that you’re gonna hurt yourself more than he hurt you. But, if that’s what it’s gonna take. I’d rather that than you hurt yourself baby. Maybe you learning this lesson yourself will help ya. But I warn you baby. That cookie cutter ass book ya momma gave you, God rest her soul. Is nothing compared to this one. What she gave you was an introduction, this right here.” she paused, lightly slapping on the book

“This is the whole conversation.”

“Thank you, Auntie.” I squeaked out, barely able to get it past choked tears

🖤

My auntie and I drank that whole bottle. Then passed out sometime shortly after. She left later. Always a good time whenever my aunt is involved. I sobered up a bit before I even touched the book, I wanted my full wits about me. I went downstairs to be close to him. It took me hours, skimming and finding the right spell. Everything was for freshly dead people. If I had these when Josh died the first time I would’ve been fine. Happy and in love. Damnit. But I found one after what seemed was A CENTURY of searching. I dropped it in horror after reading it. Calling my aunt furiously.

“Hey chile.”

“Shyla what the fuck!”

“I take it you found what you were looking for.”

“That’s sick, Auntie! There’s got to be another way!”

“You wanted your man back. I told you to forget him, to let him die in peace. You went and dug him up anyway and used your momma’s spells. Ellie, you want ya man back after he done already gave his soul to the most high. You want him back? It can be done, but it damn sure ain’t gone be pretty. I gave you that book because I knew this is how you’d feel. If you want him back that bad, you gone do what you need to do. There’s no other way.”

“Damnit.” I hung up.

I threw the damned thing. But I looked over at the fridge. And opened it up, taking Josh’s body out. Not a feat I wanted to continuously perform. I missed that face, smiling down at me. I missed that face, kissing my cheek. I missed that face, telling me he loved me. I rubbed my hands across that beautiful dead face, then glared at the book. After I picked it up, I kept reading.

🖤

I was terrified of summoning a Loa. But as much as the thought of speaking to one gave me chills, the thought of Josh’s body just being there, rotting. Also terrified me. A world without my baby. I sought out my kit, preparing the apartment for both the Baron and the Erzuli. I set up their respective alters and got them gifts. I made sure to call off for awhile more to give myself time. This had to work, it had to. It took me the whole day for the Baron, and another day for Freda. But after everything was set, I took a bath, and waited.

“You called, babygirl?” came a nasally voice from my bathroom

I was startled, and fumbled over to my towel. The voice let out a maniacal laugh

“Don’t let me disrupt the party. It looks like you may be the biggest gift offered so far.”

I covered up quickly and avoided making eye contact, my heart was pounding in pure fear.

“Baron Samedi.” I could barely speak

“Why do ya’ sound so scared pretty thang? You called me.”

“I offer you gifts, I bought you rum, and cigars, an-”

“Don’t be shy baby. Look at me.”

I did what the Baron said, slowly. Waiting furiously on Freda to arrive.

The baron was tall, menacing, but somehow welcoming. I guess that was the point, death is scary, but welcomes all. I still kept my distance, my heart was about to pound out of my chest. Samedi looked at the packs of cigars on the nightstand in my bathroom, he opened one of the pack of Dutch Masters cigarillos I got.

“Rum Fusion, that’s cute baby. Real cute.”

He put the cigar in his mouth, patting himself.

“You got a light baby?” he said, appearing in front of me at an instant.

I shook and stuttered, then pointed to the zippo lighter on the nightstand. He laughed, a tricksters laugh

“Silly me. Of course you do.”

I looked around nervously, my eyes darting across the room searching for Freda. Samedi caught my gaze. Lighting the cigar.

“Freda’s a bit lazy. She don’t too much like women ya know. I think you know that though.” he came towards me, slow as a ghost.

“Now why would you want a crowd? Aren’t I enough for ya, baby?”

His voice was that of a joke, a nasally condescending manner. It gave me chills. It had an old twang to it.

“I… I… um, I..-”

“Calm yourself, baby. I ain’t gone bite. Least not yet.” He poured himself a glass of the Sailor Jerry I bought.

“I need a favour from you, Baron. I was hoping you’d oblige.”

“These cheap gifts you bought for me should automatically make you think twice over that request… But I like you. You’re a cute little thang. I’ll hear you out. Gone head then, what do you need from ol’ Samedi?”

“My love, Baron. Joshua. I brought him back, before you dug his grave. And we were happy. But he… he ruined himself. I need him back. Can you bring him back?”

The baron chuckled. Puffed some of the cigar, nodded to himself. Smiled big and wide, then took another sip of rum.

“This cigar ain’t half bad. Sorry I insulted it. Ya know, when ya little boyfriend passed over. I thought nothing of it, I wasn’t even gonna bury his soul right away, had more important ones to put in the dirt beforehand. But when I saw you take him from me, keep the boy in limbo. Mmm, I knew, you were special. Or at least that he must be.”

He stopped to puff. Then resumed

“You toyed with me, and he was a sorry ole sight. That’s why I showed him how to give his soul back to me.”

I opened my mouth in surprise, and a sense of anger. But closed it, the emotion didn’t leave my face

“I haven’t buried him yet. Depending on what you’re willing to do for me. I might just give him right back to ya. That sound fair to you, babygirl?”

I nodded.

“You don’t even know what you’re gonna be doing yet.” He chuckled to himself, puffed again, and took a second look at the cigar. Then read the pack.

“Crazy. I think I like these. The rum is decent, but it ain’t the best. You best splurge on ole Samedi next time, chile. Don’t short me.”

“Of course.”

“You love this boy, right?”

“More than anything in the world, Baron.”

“You had him for a total of two weeks. Those two weeks were short a soul that was meant to be in my care. So I’m afraid you’re gonna have to replace them, baby. A soul for every day you had him past his time. After that, I’ll give him to ya. If ya fail though, I’m gone bury him. Whether you keep the corpse or not.”

“You want me to kill someone for you?”

“A person for every day you had your baby boy, chile.”

He studied my worried look, and smiled even wider.

“If you’d rather him be at peace. Just say the word.”

“No…. I can do it.”

He laughed, and looked me up and down. Finishing the first cigar.

“I wasn’t done baby.” he said, his voice mischievous

“You defiled your baby boy. While he was supposed to be in my care. He belonged to me. I wouldn’t mind normally. But you didn’t ask me. You did a good spell. Underhanded, but good. Makes me think…. How bad do you want your baby boy back?”

“Enough to summon you. And serve you, Baron Samedi.”

“Oh now don’t you go promising something you can’t deliver, baby. Cause what I’ll need from you is gonna take a whole lotta grit I don’t think you got.”

“Name it.”

His laughter exploded in octave. I grew cold with fear.

“That’s just the attitude I want, baby. Since you call yaself being so big and bad for ya baby boy. You gone have to take them souls yaself. After you kill them.”

“How?”

He walked over to me, putting his hand on my thigh, tracing his fingers upward.

“You gone give that sweet flower to every, dead man or woman you put an end to. Only then will I accept their souls. You do that for two weeks. You can have your baby boy back.” He stood up, backing away. Getting the other cigar from the pack

“You…. you want me to…..”

“Yes ma’am. You did it before. You’ll do it again. If you gone take a soul from poor ole Samedi and jump his bones. You gone keep doing just that. Every one. You better make it good too.”

A tear formed in the corner of my eye. He turned around, his expression stern now. A smirk on his face.

“You still want your boy back, baby?”

I thought about it for a minute. But all reason left my mind, I could only think of Joshua. And how much I love him.

“Consider it done.”

Samedi’s eyes grew wide. He laughed heartily. Jumping up and down. Miraculously not spilling a drop of the rum.

“Well if that ain’t a surprise. Alright, baby. You do that. When you finish, on the last day. I’ll bring him back.” He kneeled down to me, stretching out his hand

“Deal?”

I hesitated, but I had to.

“Deal.” I shook his hand and instantly my eyes went in the back of my head, everything went black.

I woke up, and it felt like I had been sleeping for hours. But nothing seemed different, i was still daylight, the bath water was still warm, the gifts were gone. I knew it worked. I just didn’t know what the hell to do. Mom never mentioned how stressful this shit would be. But then again…. I guess this is all my fault. If I could’ve thought to do something when Josh got sick, maybe we’d be fine, laying here. Watching movies or something. I fished out a video of us playing around.

Moon river, wider than a mile.

I’m crossing you in style… someday

Maybe if I had just listened to him, try to be more considerate, he wouldn’t have wanted to leave. Maybe if I had found a better spell… maybe if I just asked Baron Samedi in the first place. Fuck. Fuck. I’m getting my phone wet. I just… the videos. We were so happy…. So fucking happy. Now he’s in a fucking freezer. He doesn’t even wanna be here… fuck.

My dream maker, heartbreaker.

Wherever you’re going, i’m going the same.

Maybe if I were dead everything would be better. Everything could go back to being the same. I probably don’t even deserve him. He’s probably happier without me… I’m crazy. I asked a fucking Loa to bring him back. I’m gonna kill and fuck people just for him?! What the fuck is wrong with me?! Fuck! I threw my phone. Sobbing uncontrollably. It sucks I know, but I can’t contain myself. I don’t wanna hurt anyone. I don’t wanna be a burden, or anything. I just want my baby back.

Two drifters, off to see the world.

And there’s such a crazy world to see.

I just want my baby. I just want my Joshy. Fuck. I can’t stop crying. I just…. I just…. I just want my fucking boyfriend.

Life’s just around the bend, my friend.

Moon river… and me.

💔

It was a while before I got up. Wiped my tears, and got in the shower. I was already clean, but something about me felt caked in mud. Something was weighing me down. Showers helped me focus anyway. I was focused. I didn’t want to keep crying, I didn’t wanna play victim. I wanted my damn boyfriend back, and I wasn’t going to let morals and emotions stop me. I made sure I got cute as I could get. I smoked some weed before I left. I felt the bar would be a good place as any to start. I smoked on the way there too. And before I went inside, I wanted to be away from myself. I hadn’t really planned it, but I suppose I’d just flirt, get him back to the apartment, kill him then fuck him. I don’t know how that was going to pan out, but it seemed so smooth and simple in my head. I watched crime docs before, this should be easy.

I’m drinking at the bar, my usual two to three beers. I’m feeling lucky tonight, might go up to four or five. Play Johnny in some pool or something. I decided, what the hell, might as well. Johnny loves getting his money tooken. A woman comes in, and she’s fucking hot. I mean really smokin’. Looks tastier than a steaming hot plate of crocodile feet. Boy oh boy do I wanna be the hot sauce on that. I make eye contact, crank me up a smile and what not. She meets my eyes as she’s sitting down. Nice little creole, looking ripe like a peak orange. A part of me wants to head over and sit by her, but I’ve been here before. I don’t wanna creep the lady out. But another part of me wants to slap my meat stick on that, see how she takes it. She looks like she can take it pretty good. I doubt it though.

I tap the barkeep and tell him order her a strawberry margarita. Girls love that fruity shit. I tip him a twenty and he gives me a shit eating grin with a nod. Gives the lady her drink, points to me; I wink and wave at her. Teamwork makes the dream work. She comes over to me, drink in hand. Sits by me and we make small talk. I think I can reel her in.

“How’d you know I’d like a marg?”

“I like to think I’m pretty skilled at knowing what a girl wants.”

“Is that so?”

Got her. I take a sip of my bourbon. It’s easy sailing from here.

“Damn straight.”

“Is this just for… drinks?”

She put a hand on my leg. Downed her drink. Shit this was easy. But then again, black chicks love me. I’m the white sugar daddy they never had. And man oh man, am I gonna give this broad some sugar. I downed my bourbon and put a hand on her thigh.

“It’s pretty well-rounded. But I can show ya better than I can tell ya.”

“Your place or mine?”

“Whichever Is closer.”

“Mine it is.”

“I’ll follow you.”

She bit her lip and gave me a real sultry look, my dick was close to practically bursting out of my jeans. I pre-came a lot, these were new wranglers. Fuck it.

The guy fished out his wallet and hurriedly paid for the drinks. I slowly made my way outside. The booze helped, but I didn’t wanna take all day doing this; It’s bad enough I had to do it at all. He followed me in his car as I drove to my place. I should’ve went to his place, but I could plan around that. I’ll improvise when it’s time. We made it to my house. It was weird and awkward, he touched me like I was this exotic jewel he wanted to wear. I felt violated the way he touched my boobs. But I stopped him, told him I’d hop in the shower. I bit his ear to make him get a bit restless. Showed him to my room and pushed him on the bed. Then beelined to the bathroom. I calmly panicked. But I planned for this, I was okay. I just didn’t think of how to get a big fucking knife in the bedroom. The guy was huge too, one hit and I’d probably be out. I couldn’t think of anything. Until my eyes grew wide. I knew just what to do.

I didn’t even know this bitches name, but fuck she was getting me there. That bite was elating. I tussled with my pants getting them off. She was gonna be naked. Fuck, I haven’t had a black chick in FOREVER. This was gonna be the best. I’m gonna tear that bitch a new one. She’s gonna love all six inches of this fucking cock. I thought of getting in the mood a bit, felt cold with the air on. I thought black people hated the cold, maybe that’s racist, but then again, I’m about to end racism. I knocked on the bathroom door,

“Want me to put some music on?”

“Yeah, I got it. I got my phone.”

That confused me a bit, until I heard Alexa play a song. Then I chuckled. Fuck this bitch is making me hard. I don’t wanna wait to be honest, I tried the doorknob but she locked it. That’s such a tease. So I waited in the bedroom. I didn’t bother jerking my dick, I wanted her to see this thick motherfucker, let her know we white guys got some gear too. I don’t know if she’s had one before, I don’t care. I’m fired up and liquored up. I heard the door unlock and turn, and instantly hopping on the bed. Should I stand? If I do I can put her on her stomach and drill the bitch. But if I let her dominate me, she might put that black cherry on me. I feel like a kid in a candy shop, I don’t know what position to start in. She came through the door looking like a fucking dinner plate. And boy am I hungry for some of that! She smiled at me, I grabbed my dick and let her see it. She came towards the bed and crawled on top of me. She was already wet, fuck I’m gonna enjoy this. She put it in herself, she bout to ride this horsey into a deep sleep. Fuck she felt good. She leaned in, oh fuck she feels so good.

You decide if I live or die,

When you’re close, i’m alive i can feel the sky

I just want your body close to me!

I felt a sharp pain in my neck, it shot all throughout my body, she threw her hands to her mouth in a gasp. I felt around for it, I could barely let out a scream. She swiped my throat several times with two shaving razors. My eyes grew wide, I started choking on my own blood. I moved my hands to try and choke this crazy bitch. But she took whatever she used to stab me in the neck out to stab me some more in the neck. It hurt like shit. I wanted to scream, I wanted to hit this bitch in her jaw and run as fast as I could. I choked and gagged. I couldn’t make a sound, I could only flinch as she kept stabbing until she was sure I wasn’t moving. Fuck… is this how I die? My mom, my mom is gonna be pissed. She took a long look at me, then threw the razors on the floor. I got a look at the thing she stabbed me with, a fucking nail filer. I died by a fuckin nail filer and some shaving razors. Pathetic. I wanted to cry, it hurt so bad. I couldn’t breathe. Everything felt congested. She started riding me again, as if nothing happened. I could feel it. It still felt pretty good. Fuck. What a way to go, what a fucking way to go. I’m scared… I’m so fucking scared. I think I’m shedding a tear or two.

And if I o.d. I’ll be alone with no heartbeat

I hope they kill us with a ghost in the lambo

And the doors going up, suicide

I don’t wanna wake up…

I rode his dick, it was still hard, I don’t think that was voluntary. But I did. I rode him fast, and I couldn’t help but like it. I felt in control, I felt so in control. I felt like God. I bounced and bounced and rocked like my life depended on it. I leaned down and rested my face on his shoulder, his warm blood coating the side of my face. I popped my booty up and down on him, slipping and sliding. I made sure I didn’t let it fall out, I kept in rhythm so I didn’t have to chance him losing the erection. He came. Then I laid there. It felt good to have control of something, it felt good to do the killing, instead of fighting to bring someone back. I laid there, and in spite of myself… I smiled. Then kept going. One down. Thirteen to go.

I don’t wanna wake up

I want it flowing through my streams

Getting me hot… under my feet

I don’t wanna wake up.

One Week Later…

It’s been difficult doing this shit everyday. It got easier around the fifth time I killed a guy. Now It’s just like I’ve been going through the motions, it’s so easy now, I kinda enjoy it. It’s hard finding places to put the bodies though, I’ve run out of places to bury them. I was going to this shipping yard a few miles out. That shit is hard work, fuck that. I just cut em up into pieces now, they look just like rib tips when I’m finished. I’ve gotten a little creative with the whole process. It can be pretty cool once you get the hang of it. I’ve tried putting the pieces into a blender. Making a milkshake, easier to pour down the drain. The bones are tricky if you don’t cut em up good enough, and men have some strong fucking bones. The smell is god awful, but I’m used to it. I’ve got Josh to thank for that. He hasn’t decomposed yet. I keep him in the freezer. Let him air out for a short while from time to time.

I burn them sometimes too, but that’s a bit of a chore. I don’t live close to the woods. I thought of dumping the bodies in bleach and trying some breaking bad shit on them, melting it and all that. But I really don’t want to screw up my bath time, it’s really the only time I get to relax. Would probably get evicted too. I’m down to only two more soul to go. Shouldn’t be too hard. I’ve been going to different bars, never the same one. I think I’m gonna go to Applebees today. I bought a knife, I thought about getting a gun, but I don’t know how that’d be explained when I wake up the whole apartment complex with gunshots; this isn’t that kinda neighborhood where it’s normal. I keep the knife in my purse. The riskiest thing is hiding the cars. Literally isn’t even funny how difficult it is to hide these things. It’s someone’s fucking car. I asked my aunt for help getting rid of em, she wanted nothing to do with it. I just empty out the cars then set em on fire somewhere in the city, where the cops will just think it’s a bunch of impoverished kids being reckless.

They started talking about some of the guys missing on the news. I’m being more careful. Now that I think about it, I think I should try a whole new scene. Maybe a club. That’d be smart, a club. I met a guy at Walmart over the weekend, I flirted with him pretty heavy. Invited him over. I drowned him in the bathtub, slit his throat (just to make sure, sometimes these fuckers come back outta nowhere. Had a close call with this guy at a dive bar the other day and had to bash his head in with my himalayian salt lamp.). I miss Josh so much. I can’t stop thinking bout him. Everytime I do this shit I see his face when I’m fucking them. I think about it being him that’s penetrating me. That we’re still in my bed, making love to his dead body. Sometimes I can’t take it and I ball out crying. Sometimes I get so depressed I just lock myself in the basement by his side. I wish he could hold me. I wish I could hear him say he loves me. I feel so lonely without him, this place just isn’t a home without my Joshy here. I’m not happy without him. I don’t think I could be… my aunt’s been trying to talk me out of finishing this through; But she doesn’t understand, she’s always been the single aunt. She doesn’t get it.

Josh completes me. Nobody loves me like he does. He makes me so. Fucking. Happy. Asking me to forget that, to move on… I can’t stomach how they’d say that. When I cry, he lets me cry on his chest. When I’m done he cheers me up. He supports me. He does everything a woman would ever need a man to do. I can’t just forget that. And I damn sure can’t just let him die, that’s not what lovers do. He didn’t know what he was doing, he was just in pain. I should’ve went to Samedi in the first place. It’s fine. It’ll all be fine. When I bring him back, I’m gonna slap the shit out of him for doing that bullshit. Then I’m gonna make love to my man all night. And no one’s gonna tell me I can’t.

Still I’ll always be there for you, how I do.

I let go of my claim on you.

It’s a free world…

You’ll look down on where you came from, sometimes.

But you’ll have this place to call home…

Always…

I love reggae night. It’s the best thing ever. The drinks are half off, the music is WAY better than that country shit they usually play. And all the right women come out. I’m not saying I’m opposed to my own race ( My last girlfriend was white) but I just like variety. I like learning about someone who doesn’t look like me. Just feels better. My wife is Columbian. She’s beautiful, and her culture is rich and full of like… awesome history and shit. Her parents love me, their food is TO DIE FOR. But she’s fucking crazy. Which is hot, but man that shit gets old after awhile. She’d kill me if she knew what I was doing here. But that’s why she isn’t gonna find out.

“One pina colada, that’ll be three dollars.” The bartender startled the shit out of me.

“Can you open a tab? I’m gonna be here for a bit.” I yelled as I handed him my card, the music was deafening

“Yeah, sure thing. Let me know.”

I nodded to him in confirmation. Hopefully I’ll be paying for someone else’s drinks and my own. I loved pina coladas. Feels a little wrong drinking one specifically on reggae night but I don’t really care. The DJ is playing a Stephen Marley song, I really wanna go dance but if I chug this shit I’m gonna get a brain freeze that’s probably gonna level me for the whole night. Not wasting this opportunity for that. There’s a hot momma staring at me from across the club, she’s hot. Real hot. I see her coming over, okay. Act natural. I’m gonna act a natural as I possibly can.

She sits next to me, orders herself a dark n’ stormy. I like her already, she’s got good taste. I’m really nervous, I almost don’t know what to say, she’s so damn beautiful I can’t really say anything.

“I love your hair.” that is so cringe worthy, ew. Fuck.

“Thank you.” she giggles

“I like yours too, it’s… silky.”

She was joking with me, oh my God, with me?! I laughed in spite of being horribly nervous.

“You’re too kind.” I said, smiling

“Can I touch it?”

I laughed kinda hard at that. Then leaned my head in.

“I bet you get that all the time.”

“Yeah, wanted to see what it was like on the other side.”

The bartender brought her, her drink. I raised my pina colada.

“To good hair?”

“To good hair!” she laughed, clinking glasses with me

I couldn’t believe this shit. Nick is really over there chatting it up with some bitch. Some black bitch is drinking with my man. He must really want his balls cut off. Fucking idiot doesn’t even notice me watching his stupid ass in one of the booths across from the bar, if he were smart he’d case the whole club before even sitting down. Why couldn’t you have just came here with me, Nicky baby? We could’ve had fun, I like to dance. Not to this hippie pothead music, but shit I’d try! This motherfucker is drinking, having a good ole time. Oh go ahead Nicky. Go ahead and do all your hearts desire. You’re gonna get it soon as you come home motherfucker.

I got my phone out to take a picture of them. The zoom is trash. But I can’t risk getting too close. Nicky is already nervous, scared enough to look around from the bar but not scared enough not to be here without me in the first place. The waitress comes by me,

“Can I get you anything, hun?”

“Yeah, baby gimme a tequila sunrise.” I gave her a twenty. She’s pretty. I liked pretty.

“You keep the change baby.”

“Thank you so much! I’ll have that right out for you.”

I smiled as she walked off, pretty little girl. Bless her heart. I looked back over at Nicky. And the motherfucker is kissing this little ratchet bitch on the neck and her ear! Oh no, Nicky you done fucked up now, you wanna kiss these bitches, huh? Okay. that’s fine.

“Ellie, that’s a cute name. I like it. I’m Nick.” I laughed at myself, covering my eyes

“What? What’s so funny? Nick.”

Her laugh is really cute. I’m getting like… super horny.

“We’ve been flirting and shit and I’m just now getting to know your name. That’s wild.”

“You know what’d be more wild?”

“What?”

“If we went back to my place.”

I almost choked finishing up my drink. Everything suddenly got quiet, and hot.

“Really?”

“If you want to.” she said, grinning as she sipped her drink. I hadn’t noticed it was almost gone too. I quickly nodded my head in confirmation

She grabbed my hand and led me outside. I was paralyzed, this is really happening. Fuck. Oh my god, oh my god, Oh my god, this is really happening.

I waited around for that heffer to get in her car with him in tow. The dickhead took an uber here, I bet he thought he was smart. But I got trackers for a reason baby. I followed them for about thirty minutes, we were at her house. The bitch’s house! And a funk ass apartment complex at that! Oh he must be out of his damn mind.

I brought the guy up to my room, I could tell he was elated to say the least. I kinda felt sorry for the guy.

“Do you want another drink? I got margs.”

“Oh yeah, sure. Can’t have too much tequila.” He laughed awkwardly,

The first week I would’ve felt terrible offering him a drink before I killed him. But the me now, just doesn’t care. I’m probably doing him a favour getting him wasted before I do it. I cracked open a cayman jack and handed it to him. He went for a chug, and I slipped into the walkin kitchen. Grabbing a small pan, It really always get the job done if I need em knocked out. Not that he’d need much help, the guy was practically plastered. But still, for good measure. I hit him over the head as hard as I could. He dropped instantly, the bottle didn’t break though. Which didn’t surprise me, those things are pretty durable for glass.

“BITCH WHAT YOU DOING TO MY MAN, HOE!” I screamed busting in the room,

This bitch had him on the floor, I don’t know if she roofied him or if his drunk ass passed out. But I didn’t care, I’m going in for the kill on this nappy headed hoe.

My eyes shot wide open seeing some crazy lady bust through the door. The fucking guy was cheating, great.

I smacked the bitch with my purse, then took out my knife. I was gonna slice her ass up. She weaved my purse and swung at me with a pan.

“OH YOU WANNA PLAY HUH? OKAY BITCH, LET’S PLAY! I LIKE PLAYING TOO.”

I swiped at her and cut her arm, I smiled when I did that. Then I did it again, she blocked it with the pan. Sent my knife flying into the kitchen. I ducked when she tried to smack my head with the pan, and dove for the knife. I saw a little bottle though, and quickly grabbed it. The bitch swung at me again with the pan and hit my leg. I yelled out in pain, and threw the bottle at her face, it shattered on impact. Time to go for the kill on little nappy head hoe over here.

“FUCK!” I screamed out,

This crazy lady hit me with a bottle, sent me staggering back, I dropped the pan. She came at me with her knife and I dove for the floor, missing her initially. But I grabbed the top piece of the bottle that’d broken off, it’d become a rigid shank. She turned around coming for me, but I tripped her. She was wearing heels, a poor choice if you’re going to fight. I scrambled over to her, grabbing her arm with the knife in it. She was still trying to stab me, this bitch was strong. Why did I have to pick the cheater?

She rolled me over and was on top of me now, still pressing down against my grip, trying to out muscle me and stab me. I thought of Josh, I thought, fuck that. And jammed the broken bottle piece into her cheek. She screamed in pain, and fell backward. I quickly took the knife from her hands, and stabbed her with it. I stabbed her in the chest, repeatedly, then slit her fucking neck open. I slumped over her in pure exhaustion. And laid there for a minute. Until Nick started waking up. Then my eyes grew wide and I remembered what was going on, I got up and locked the door. Then got the pan and ran over to him, slipping somewhat on his girlfriend’s pool of blood. And bashed his skull in.

I actually slipped and fell on the blood. But I was lucky enough to fall on my knees. And I kept going, until I was too tired. Then I took the knife and stabbed him until I was comfortable that he was dead. Then I yanked and pulled at his pants, his dick wasn’t even that big. I don’t know why she went through all the trouble. But I rode it, and sucked it, until he was good and fucked. I was dead tired. But as I crawled off of him, an idea popped into my head as I gazed over at his girlfriend's corpse lying a few feet away.

“One. More. Soul.” I couldn’t help saying this myself.

I crawled over to her, I had some experiments in college. I’ve watch porn with Josh before. I think I know how this goes. I jimmied her high waisted jeans off, and climbed on top of her, and kissed those blood soaked lips, then let my head travel down to kiss her other lips.

🖤

I felt disgusting. I had cum of two genders on my body, along with blood. I climbed off of her, and laid down. Waiting to pass out.

“I asked, and you performed.” a gravelly voice came

My head shot up, looking up at Baron Samedi, smoking a wood tipped cigar. Smiling down at me.

“You got creative I see. And here I thought you were exclusive only to the men. Smart. I like that.”

“Give him back, please. Please Baron. I’ve done what you asked.”

“You certainly have. I am pleased with you, babygirl.” he said, rubbing blood off my face.

“I’ll give you some time to clean up. When you’re done, he’ll be here.”

“Really?!” I said in excitement, shock, relief

The Baron laughed, walking out of the door

“Of course, chile. After all… a deal. Is a deal.”

He vanished. Leaving me with these two dead bodies to clean up after. It took me two hours to finish. But when I did, I was dead tired. I had almost forgotten about Joshua for a split second. And took a long shower. Alexa started playing music and it startled me. I felt those loving arms I hadn’t felt in ages wrap around me.

Oh i can’t lie i want you on me,

And girl i wanna love you closely

I don’t want nobody on you

… if that body ain’t me… body ain’t me.

I lied when I said i hate you

Baby i was tryna get though

I don’t want nobody on you…

If that body ain’t me… body ain’t me..

I cried. I couldn’t do anything but cry. And I turned around and buried my face in his chest, I couldn’t even look at him. I just stood there and cried. I felt disgusting, I felt like a monster… and I was. He didn’t say anything, he just held me. I could feel him crying too, silently.

The craziest thing… I knew everything. I saw it all unfold. I woke up with the Baron Samedi smiling in my face. I was horrified, he showed me what Elle was doing. I could barely breathe watching that. It was sick. The Baron got a real kick out of it. I didn’t, no… I hoped she wouldn’t be able to go through with it till the end. But she did, to my horror she really did. It felt like the air being sucked out of my lungs.

“What have you done, El?”

“I’m sorry baby. I’m so… so sorry. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t live without you. I had to.”

A part of me wanted to leave it alone and let it be. The Baron gave me a regular body, as if I didn’t die. But I did, and I’d never be the same. I thought back to what he said to me, what he showed me.

“Elle wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh white boy don’t tell me what she won’t do, you see her now do you not?”

“Lock me in a freezer? Fill the freezer with dirt? Hold me hostage?!”

“You’ll tell her the morality and such of what she’s done. Because you are reason. Where she is love.” He puffed his cigar

“She’ll see it differently.” he finished

I looked up at the mirror where Elle was killing a man, with a ligature. And a tear came down my face.

“Stop her, and love her. The best way you possibly can, chile. You’d be doing you’ll both a favour. You can’t go out, you can’t do anything. You’ll be confined to that house. And the minute you leave, you’ll turn to dust, and end right back up in that freezer. I know you don’t want that now.”

I said nothing, Samedi puffed out smoke in my face, getting closer

“You can be trapped in a love that’ll never be the same. Or rest in eternity with the one you love for an eternity. Your choice, white boy.”

“That’d mean I’d have to stay in Hell… with her.”

“Sweet as her intentions are, I think you know she can’t go with you, baby boy.”

He put his hand on my shoulder, puffing smoke in my face

“Love is Obsession, because Love is Irreplaceable.”

I looked back at him, and he smiled.

I thought about what Samedi said to me. And he was right, she was obsessed, but she was irreplaceable. I picked my baby’s head up, as we sat in the shower, and kissed her as deeply as I could. We kissed for what seemed to be years. But it was merely a matter of seconds, then I cracked her neck until it broke in one simple motion. My eyes flooded with tears, they quickly drenched my face.

“I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry. It’ll be fine. I promise. I promise.”

I grabbed the small knife I hid beside the shower before I got in, and slit both my wrist, nice and deep. I held my Ellie. I held her as tight as I could. Before everything went to black. Before we could spend eternity together.

“Just what you wanted baby… together ... forever.”

Two drifters off to see the world,

It’s such a crazy world you’ll see

What i see, who i become…

We’re all chasing after our ends..

Life’s just around the bend, my friend…

Moon river… and me…

The End