My husband cheated on me during his bachelor party in Cabo. Advice/venting.

I found out my husband cheated on me at his bachelor party a year ago when I was having a suspicion that he was flirting with his coworker. I looked through his phone to find hidden messages on WhatsApp with a girl in Cabo. He was trying to get at her the entire trip after meeting in the club one of the nights. He even had texts saying he will be back. After confronting him he was defensive and then somewhat apologetic but still lying to me.

I told him I needed him to call the groomsmen that were on his trip to give me clarity about what happened and talk to them in a way that they would not know it’s me. He went and snap chatted them “Cabo is in the hole” and I found out so when he had called them no one said anything about what happened.

He had told me that he only got head and made out with her and nothing else happened. I didn’t believe this because the texts suggested otherwise. I went and texted her and she told me what happened they had sex with a condom. After I told him I knew exactly what happened she told me and she was asking him the entire time “do you have a girl? I don’t want to be the reason another woman suffers” and he continuously denied it. This was less than two weeks before we stood on the aisle.

I also found out the coworker flirts with him and he denied flirting with her but it’s pretty obvious he gives in to what he can get. He told me his reasoning was to see if he could “pull” someone. I feel so betrayed but not just because he had sex with someone because he embarrassed me in front of his friends, understood what he was doing, and continuously pursued her even after returning home.

His parents and mine keep trying to convince me it was a mistake and he’s sorry for it but I can’t get her out of my mind now. I think of him putting his you know what I’m another girl and I get so disgusted. We’ve been together 5 years and 4 years before I never saw him do that. I lost so much to get married to him. He let me marry him knowing what he did. He doesn’t seem sorry mostly sorry for getting caught. His dad who I love and have respect for so much wants to talk to me later today and I have to convince him I need a divorce.

I really wish this never happened and I never found out honestly this boy I helped grow into a powerful man career wise told me to quit and he’d take care of me. So I’m left with nothing to start over. I’m 26F he’s 26M and we’ve been together since I was 21. My whole life was him and it just sucks so much.

comments

• CHEATING IS NOT A MISTAKE! HAVING HIS FRIENDS LIE TO YOU IS NOT A MISTAKE! LYING TO YOU HIMSELF IS NOT A MISTAKE! these are conscious choices he is CONTINUING to make, shame on your parents for trying to pressure their daughter into staying in a sham of a marriage.

• She needs to contact all his friends SOs and let them know they covered and approve of her STBX cheating. It seems they have a system in place to cover for each other.
• This is def not the first nor last time he has done this. And his friends probably have too if they cover for him.
• I am sorry this happened to you OP. You will survive this and come out stronger. I recommend getting an STD panel done asap and use his money to pay for it. You deserve so much better then a piece of shit like him
• Advice? Get a lawyer and a therapist; you’re going to need them both. Or stay and be lied to and disrespected for the rest of your life. If he can’t be faithful during the honeymoon period of your relationship, do you really want to find out how he’ll behave when the inevitable hard times come? You deserve better than a liar and a cheat.