Mission Failed

The promiscuity of females has been looked down on for years. So many stories to tell that go unheard because we don't want to give the wrong impression. A female shouldn't feel so boxed in; we should speak about our “escapades” with no judgement. Do you know why? Because sometimes that shit is hilarious!

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If you ask me, I think this whole thing stinks. I’m not one to kiss and tell, but if I’m not "having a good time," I’m not having a good time. Why does a guy get to blab about his "conquests" or their fails with no judgement? Granted, I’m not the type that will fuck anything that moves; I shouldn’t feel like I can’t talk about my escapades, especially when they suck! The mind needs time to process what went wrong during this particular time, and sometimes it helps to talk it out to an actual person, not your mirror.

It all started when my friends went on deployment and left me here. Ok, they didn’t leave me. I changed commands.

It was my time to leave. My friends still had time left at their command, so we had to go our separate ways. We still talked through emails and everything; it just wasn’t the same. I missed them. In fact, I grew too attached to one of my friends, and it caused a lot of unnecessary heartbreak for me, but that’s another story for another time. My problem with relationships was that I grew up with the romanticized idea of falling in love, getting married, buying a house, and having kids, but ish don’t work like that. I was feeling low because of the deployment. I was in a funk.

I got “lucky” to have shore duty, which turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life, and that’s where my career ended.

Then I met Karson. He was ok, younger, cute. He was an average type of guy. He was never really on my radar because I was trying not to speak to anyone I worked with at this new place. After all, it took me a while to trust people. I found myself hanging out with Karson and his friend a little more than maybe I should have. I guess a part of me was trying to fill the space my friends left when they went on deployment.

This was not the best idea. Let me continue. We were drinking, and no, I didn’t drink more than I could handle. While we were doing shots, I noticed Karson staring at me. He did his shot and stared at me; it wasn’t creepy; it was just the way he stared at me. It raised my interest. Was he trying to flirt with me? Whatever, I did my shot and decided to see how this was going to play out.

I asked him, “What are you looking at?” to which he replied, “I don’t know, what am I looking at?”

“Well, you’re looking at me.”, I told him.

“Yeah, I am.”, he said this in a way that actually sounded like a compliment.

“Me? Whatever.”, I replied.

That was when he got bold and put his hand around my waist. Ok, I guess we are going there. Let’s see how this plays out. Now, I know what you are thinking, alcohol, boy and girl… endless possibilities, don’t worry, everything from this point was consensual. Where was I? So he has his hand on my hip, and I can feel myself becoming intrigued and aroused with the thought of this situation progressing. It was almost slow motion like, maybe it was just the liquor talking. He pulled me a little closer; I could feel his heart beating a mile a minute. I shuffled a little as I lost my balance while moving in closer.

I would say it was perfect, but I didn’t want to lose my lunch. You are probably going to say, “Weren’t you hanging out with two people?” well, yes, I was, but the other guy passed out. Sorry, I forgot to mention that. So, I was staring at Karson when I noticed he was coming in hot and moved in to kiss me. He took his hand from my hip and placed it on my neck just under my ear. I put my hands around his waist. As he pulls away from me, he smiles and asks me if I want to go to his room. I’m pretty much at the point where I want to be wrapped around him feeling every sensation.

I could feel how aroused he was, and let’s put it this way, he wasn’t jerkin a gherkin. He wasn’t an eggplant either though, it was, you know, average. That’s ok though, I’m really picky, so it was just ok.

As I lay on the bed, I can feel him on top of me, kissing me, moving from my mouth to my cheek, then on my neck, kissing softly yet firm. I can feel him gently pressing against me. It wasn’t long before we started undressing each other.

Topless, I can feel his mouth moving down to my breast, gently kissing every inch until he gets to my nipple, where he gives a small suckle and pinch between his teeth.

This sends my senses reeling in ecstasy as it travels from my spine down to my…” naughty parts.” He kept kissing my breast, made his way down to my pants and started to take them off. I thought I was going to lose it when he kissed me just below my belly button. I had to control myself. He teased me by working his way back up, and this was the moment I have been anticipating.

It was at that moment I literally heard a record scratch.

He had his finger was completely off “the spot,” which I corrected, but he kept going back to the “not spot”. I gently moved his hand back, but he went back to ground zero, which was more like maybe my inner thigh? What the fuck was going on? I was so confused because everything was progressing nicely, then we actually started having sex. If you want to call it that anyway. Have you ever heard of “just the tip”? Welp, that’s what I got, THE WHOLE TIME! Just the tip and nothing but the tip. Is this some weird foreplay? Is he trying to kid around? I’m being punk’d, right?

Movement on this man’s part was a bit lacking, and while I tried to communicate, he just wasn’t listening. He continued to make just little thrusts, almost as if he were trying to imitate a vibrator. Does he know this is not how to get a little deeper? I was starting to lose my naughty tingles. Did I forget to change my water filter? See, there I go, losing interest.

This guy went from hero to zero in under 60 seconds. Ok, concentrate, concentrate, try to orgasm at least. Almost…there… Mission Failed, we’ll get ’em next time.

Oh no, we won’t! I had to fake my orgasm, I got dressed, gave him a fist bump, and left. Confused and bewildered about the entire situation. How did it go downhill so quickly? How was I going to look at him at work now?...without laughing.