Married Sex

I was single from 18 years old to 30 years old. Of course I could say 16 years old when I lost my virginity to another 16 year old guy in High School, but I am not going there!

My wedding took place on just after my 30th birthday. My husband and I had been dating for 3 months when he proposed. The sex was never as good as sex during the early days of the relationship but at the 3 months mark the sex wasore or less at it’s peak and we both were ready for marriage.

Leaving out the akward years, really all through high school, I had some pretty fun dates and two relationships before I met my husband.

I am not saying I am an exhibtionist, but maybe I am a bit. I never thought about it, untill my second boyfriend and I got stuck in an elevator. We knew there was security cam on and we acted like it was our first porn film. After that it was on the plane to the Bahamas, in a concert in a dark hallway and few other places. But when he started pushing threesomes I came to my senses and ended the relationship.

So now I have been married for 2 years as I write this. Yes, before marriage, the honeymoon and really up until just a few months ago the sex was passionate, maybe not as wild as when I was single, and definatly not always when I want it. It seems now it is more when he wants it. Plus, the foreplay has dropped off quite a bit, so I actually masturbate in the shower sometimes before I go to bed when I know he wants sex.

Ok, so I understand, the past wild sexual episodes were just that, the past. Maintaining good sex didn't matter then, it just sort of happened, or at least it happened more often. When I met the man who would become my husband it happened for sure! It Once the door was closed we wanted to rip off each other's clothes and we often did! That intensity was there as we walked down the aisle three months after we met. On the honeymoon we had sex continually and nearly had group sex because we were on cruise ship and just screwing our brains out. It almost got as kinky as some of the dates I had when I was single.

But, the honeymoon could not go on forever I guess. Now I am in a married-sex rut and we are talking about having a baby! I have heard from too many people what happens after a baby enters the picture!

The nights I spent worrying at last got overwhelming so I decided to to do something about it! I began a searching blogs for answers to the question of how to be a wife and keep having awesome sex! I actually interviewed a number of women from various countries talking about sex and marriage. I compiled all of their answers into a book, How to Be Married, which was as much about implementing the advice as asking for it.

It was sort like joining a private sex club with women! The stories were sometimes funny, shocking, sad, but often very erotic! The amount of affairs, often with almost complete strangers was shocking at first. Pretty quickly I realized my single days when I thought I was becoming an exhibtionist was far more common than I thought! In general, I realized women were more spontaneous than men. Some of the stories that these married women told me about how they brought the “spark” back to the sex in their marriage were just crazy! More than one went their husbands work and had sex either in or around his office. Often showing up with no panties and no bra!

The overall take after a few months of my unconvential research convinced me that maintaining a healthy and satisfying sex life is mostly up to the woman.! I realized once a guy becomes a “married man” he changes and becomes secure and content which results in him losing his sense of adventure.

Women, in general, do not feel it is their place in a marriage to take the lead in regards to the sexual aspect of marriage, but if they don’t, it goes downhill fast. More than one woman told me, “He likes being to be told what to do.” And, “You need to be in charge of the sex; when, where and how!”

Then after the pregnancy was positive I asked, “How do you have good sex after you have children?”

I was not expecting how quite the conversations became, but, I guess that is just the way it is. Yes, the children took priority over everything else. My immaturity had sort of slapped me right in my face.

Then I thought about growing older together and if same person, night after night, for the rest of your life, was, well, boring? The answers were mostly, yes, but, the aspect of “friendship” far outweighed the boredom! I had guessed that, and now that I was well into my secret little club I not only expected to hear that, but it actually made me fell very fortunate that I married my best friend!

The coversations continued and the older married women talked about travel after retirement, renewed desires, some very interesting adventures, many fem a fem encounters and just a whole world of married life I really never knew existed by just having observed my parents and watching media.

I concluded I had to keep him interested. I probably really was a bit of an exhibtionist. Maybe I would a really kinky soccer mom! I decided short shorts, no bra, short skirts would have to replace by causal baggy pants and sweats at home. I realized controlling needed to be replaced with a a coy assertiveness. He had to feel he had his freedom. The freedom to go out with his friends, go to ballgames, ect..

That afternoon when he came home I embarked on my longterm “I am going to always have awesome sex in my marriage,” plan. After dinner while he was watching the ball game on TV, I put on my sexiest lingere and went straight over to couch. I grabbed the remote out of his hand, turned off the TV and then threw the remote across the room. He looked surprized that I threw the remote! He smiled. I playfully slapped his face and said, “No smiling. I am changing the channel!”

His eyebrows went up. I could tell he was surprized. “This is my porn channel!” He smilled and laughed a bit, so I slapped him a little harder! “I need a porn star right now, not a husband.” It was really good sex!