Lucid Cove: Darkside Up Vol 1

"Baby, can we stop now?" Miso asked her fiance, Lucus. He was trying to dick her down, but he was really gummy worming her down. Miso was getting restless.

"But, I haven't cum yet." he responded. Miso was almost infuriated staring into his blue-green lifeless eyes. She began an inner rant: Oh, you haven't cum yet? When in the hell was the last time you made me cum asshole? I told you I wanted to work on an idea I had, but no you wanted to get your shriveled dick wet.

"But baby, I told you I wanted to work on something. " Miso responded sweetly, as she rubbed his thin biceps.

"Just let me cum baby, then I'll let you focus on your work." Lucus continued to thrust himself in and out of her, but Miso felt nothing. She was tired of interactions like this, but they were often. Miso stared at the ceiling as she tried to remember what she wanted to do with the idea that came to her hours ago. Alas, she could not.

“No Viagra today?” Miso asked in an innocent voice, but she knew he’d take it the other way.

Lucus stopped his robotic humping and bared his cold eyes into hers. “Why? Does it seem like I need it?”

“If you feel like you don’t then I guess not.” Miso sighed as she closed her eyes. I’d rather be anywhere else but here. For a while Lucus just leaned into her; Miso was becoming more uncomfortable with his pelvic bones digging into her thighs.

With a heavy sigh Lucus restarted his moderate and ineffective pumps. As Miso laid there she thought about the lost days of passion they used to share, and how things came to be this way.

An hour later, Miso was free. She took a shower at once, she wanted to cry but the tears never came. The relationship was at a point where her "no's" fell on deaf ears. Miso felt like nothing more than a cum bucket, and his touch was no longer warm.

When she stepped out of the shower she look a long look in the mirror. She looked deep into her eyes and tears started to flow. Her milk chocolate irises gleamed bright, but they looked so sad. She never wiped the tears from her cheeks, she just watched the pattern they left down her face. Her full lips pushed tightly against each other, frown lines framed her mouth. My eyes are my best feature...if I could just smile...

Miso leaned into her reflection and opened her mouth, forcing herself to smile. It took a few tries but she finally got her smile just right. A silent sigh of relief, There I am. I still got it. Miso always felt better after looking at herself "happy"; the trick was to hold it till ya felt it.

Once she was dressed, she went straight to her desk, but her darling Lucus approached her with another request.

"Baby, could you make me something to eat, please?" A smirk hanging on his lips. Miso looked at him sharply, then looked at her blank computer screen; she considered throwing it at his head.

Miso sighed deeply, "I literally just sat down, can you fix yourself something to eat? I told you I wanted to work on this."

Lucus looked at her as though she disrespected every bone in his body. "I have the ability, but I wanted you to do it." He blinked once, and stared at her.

"Come on now, I don't make you stop playing your games because I want something. Why can't you let me work?"

"You know what fine. I'll order out. Where's your card?"

Miso rubbed her temples, and nodded at her purse in the corner of the room. Once he grabbed it and left, Miso closed the door behind him. When she returned to her desk, she discovered that her ideas had abandoned her for good. Instead of being creative, Miso wrote another depressing entry into her digital journal about a recent development in her relationship.

Last week me and Lucus had a conversation about practicing polygamy. At the time, I agreed that it may be beneficial but I struggle with the thought of seeing him with another woman in my face. He cheated on me so much in the past, and now that he’s introducing poly to me...I don’t know. It just hurts; it makes me feel like I’m not good enough, that I never was, and I never could be. I used to see him as my best friend, my confidant, my lover - but there is something missing in our relationship. I used to be so happy to be in his presence or by his side; now I tend to get silent around him. I used to share my ideas with him, but he revealed to me that they were of no interest to him. So what’s the point? I used to crave his touch, and be so delighted when we made love. Now? I literally just got done crying about our last interaction. I want to ask why am I still here, but I know why. I’m still here because I looked him in the face and said I would try. I’m here because we agreed to focus on each other, to relight the flame we once shared with each other- before expanding. I don’t want to walk away, and sometimes it pleases me that he can’t either ...But there’s this thought that I had for the past few years: does he stay because I’m an all to willing participant? Is he really just settling for me? Am I really just settling for him? The only reason I agreed to these ideas is because I crave more than I know I’ll never get from him. I crave passion, I crave… girth & sturdiness. Oh! I'm so tired of watching him use Viagra. There was once a time I was enough for him, you know. We're only in our twenties, how can he always be this soft? And outside of the bedroom, I crave involvement...Lucus never wanted to be involved; he’d just float in the background, just to say he was there. Pacifying me with distant support...just to type this out makes my heart hurt.

The sound of the doorbell jolted Miso out of her only form of expression. She looked at the screen with dismay, and titled the entry, 'Something is bound to change’ before closing out of the application. Thirty minutes had passed, and she still had nothing in relation to the work she originally wanted to do. She listened as her lover collected his food from the delivery person; the ring on Miso's finger seemed to be the coldest thing on her. I’m glad his needs are being met.