Key Saftey Tips for the New Kink Explorer

Since the idea and forming of the kinky community, we have always had mentors. But now we have Google, it's probably how you found this article. So welcome to my creative world of kink.

Since we are using the internet more I wanted to create simple tips if you are starting down this fun path to the great adventure of kinky f*&#kery you should read this and maybe pass it onto another noob in the community.

1. Create SAFE WORDS.

Safewords allow a scene to come to a full stop no matter the reason. Both partners should have one whether you are Top, bottom, or switch. You should also create a medical safeword that both of you can use, especially if you scene with someone that has reactive medical issues like asthma or diabetes.

When choosing a safeword it should be out of the ordinary yet the person's go-to comfort. This allows the recall to be easy. An example would be a bottom is a car guy his safeword would not work if it was bubblegum. His brain doesn't go there for comfort. A better safeword would be jeep.

Also, safewords are just that safe. There should never be a punishment for using them.

2. Choking Hazards are a thing.

Ever wonder why there is a strap on a ball gag? Well, the answer is it's just sexy to keep it in the mouth. That's very true, however, it also keeps it from sliding too far into the mouth where choking and suffocation can happen. There is a strap, please use it all the time.

Also, very sexy and hot, to use rope, panties, or scarf in the mouth. However, unless you are very experienced and have first aid training I advise against these. Saliva can gather in these and cause all kinds of issues including making it harder to remove them. Be very cautious.

3. Rub-a-dub-dub, It's Time to Scrub. HYGIENE.

We are talking about toy care here, how you clean and care for your toys is so important. Cleaning after each use is mandatory, without it you can spead infections, just general bacterial ones to STI's, even blood-borne pathogens. Know how to clean and maintain your tools and what cleaners to use.

4. CIRCULATION, it's just a mandatory need.

BDSM relies heavily on bondage and because of that aspect, we have to watch the blood flow to arms, legs, nipples, breasts, and the family jewels. Lack of blood flow can cause serious harm from nerve damage to loss of the limb. This is not a factor to be overlooked.

5. NEVER leave a submissive alone.

Sounds pretty basic but never leave a submissive in a vulnerable position alone, bound or caged. At that point, they are helpless and are requiring all their care and safety needs to be met by the one in charge.

6. CLAMPS!

Clamps are fun and compress causing pain and sensitivity. But they do compress so it restricts blood flow. Always keep an eye on the area clamped. Look for color change (a little pink is always expected) like blue, purple, black, or white... the general rule is no more than 15 minutes with constant observation and slight repositioning. FYI nipples that have nerve damage are no longer sensitive and what fun is that.

7. COLLARS

In BDSM they can be symbols, sexy or useful. Always use a collar properly. The rope is not a collar and should never be put around the neck. If you use a collar make sure it's secure and fits properly with room to breathe and move.

8. Bondage and JOINTS

In bondage, we can overlook the basic sensibilities. We must always strive to protect and love our toys (yes are subs are toys too) Watch out for knees, elbows, shoulders ankles. You know the bendy parts of the body.

There are proper ways to bind, cuff, and restrain. If you are new find a mentor or a local Dom/me. Most Dom/mes within the community teach if may be worth it to book a teaching session to learn some basics with your partner. Don't ever rely on porn to be your teacher. That said, don't rely on Goggle either, find a real human mentor, teacher, or workshop to attend.

9. The SPANKING Game

BDSM has a heavy impact component and spanking needs to be addressed. Like Bondage, there is a right way and a wrong way. You can't go hitting all willy nilly. You'll hurt someone, in the not so good way. There are spots on the body that can not take impact, I call them the soft squishy parts. If you impact those spots you can cause internal bleeding, bruises, tears, nerve damage, and a host of complications.

Please find a mentor/teacher or workshop. However, some places that just seem basic that can handle a strike are the bottom, the breasts and the back (rib cage region), and lastly the thighs.

Remember to have fun and err on the side of caution.

10. The Internet is Scary...PERSONAL AWARENESS

Always be safe, never go anywhere not in public or without security. Always have a backup plan and always make sure someone knows who you are meeting, where you are meeting, and how long you will be. We in the community call this a SAFE CALL. But in this age of the internet, we all need to practice this and awareness of our surroundings.