Interpreting 70s and 80s Music

You know the bit from Resevoir Dogs about "Like a Virgin" by Madonna? Full disclosure, I've never seen the film, but I remember a good friend recounting this scene to me in stellar detail. We'll call that friend Juliet.

Sometimes I refer to her like that in my mind because of a song that came out when I was in high school. I remember being enamored by her confidence and beauty. She was a little older than me, and we both had a knack for being misfits. Once Juliet graduated and left me in the cold clutches of high school, 2013 drifted by, and 2014 was in full swing ."Shut Up and Dance" by WALK THE MOON was released and as soon as I heard the words "A backless dress and some beat up sneaks / My discotheque Juliet teenage dream," I immediately thought of her. I pictured a daring yet somehow loose tunic dress with worn Converse. Converse sneakers were her go-to shoes, and I wore them every day of Freshman year because she did. We had a really turbulent and even territorial friendship. I owe a lot to Juliet for my worldview and how I choose to love other people. Years later, I find myself realizing that I loved her at a time in my life when I didn't understand the difference between platonic and romantic love. There are so many words to describe the feelings I felt for Juliet, but I never really thought of them until recently. My younger sibling commented that they thought Juliet was my girlfriend when I was in high school. I was flattered but confused. She was my best friend, and I guess I was too young to separate the kinds of love that you can feel for a person. I don't know why I'm sharing all of this. It just felt important that you know Juliet is such a lovely but intense and passionate person.

Anyway, about the Madonna song. Although Juliet was lovely, she swore like a sailor then and still does to this day. The conversation about the song came up when we were at a bar trivia night, many years after the close of high school when we were getting into our twenties. I took a big swig of hard cider when the song came on from the DJ booth. Juliet is mindlessly swaying along to the beat, and her eyes glazed over as she zoned out while waiting for our food to arrive. Suddenly Juliet jolts upright, as if out of a trance and matter-of-factly asks, "Did you know this song is actually about big dicks?" I choke on the cider and proceed into a hacking cough. Once I was able to breathe again, I narrowed my eyes, "What the fuck did you just say to me?"

Juliet resumes bopping along to the music, smiling, "Like a virgin means that this guy's dick must be ENORMOUS. I'm talking a schlong." When she said "schlong," she made sure to show a measurement with her hands for emphasis. I say nothing, because I genuinely don't know how to respond to that.

She proceeds with her explanation in a very clinical way, as if we weren't loudly having this conversation in a small bar where I know other people had to have heard, "Okay, so. She basically feels "shiny and new" again because this guy is making it feel like the first time she's ever encountered a dick, you know what I'm saying?" Juliet continues to dissect the topic as if it were some big revelation she'd only recently had.

"That's, uh...that's an interesting take, and honestly, with your argument, I can't really refute it," I shrug and keep sipping my cider.

"Thanks, I didn't think of it. It's from a Tarantino movie."

I sit in silence because what a random conversation, right?

Anyway, I had this same realization (but opposite, I guess) about the song "Feels Like the First Time" by Foreigner. The female in the song must be serving up some adequate sexing because this song is a heterosexual male version of "Like a Virgin," pretty much.