If Your Friends Won't Go Down on You, Who Will?

Since the dawn of time, gay men have been fascinated with straight men. It seems like every gay guy goes through a phase where he pursues at least one. For me, it's been a lifetime endeavor -- sometimes it pays off, sometimes it doesn't. My personal opinion is that we as gay men like the challenge. Our whole lives we're told how wonderful vagina is, how disgusting gay sex is...so when we are able to land a straight guy it's the ultimate rush. Knowing that he could be getting pussy, but instead he's letting me suck his dick, it's like a drug to me. In my years of playing the field, I have managed to land more than half a dozen straight guys -- of varying attractiveness. They'd all wanted head, which I'd gladly given them, leading a few of them to become obsessed with me.

I first met James back in the fall of 2019 when he hired in at the pizzeria where I work. He was about five years older than I; a short, skinny guy with a receding hairline and many quirks. As I got to know him, I learned that he had once been a heroin addict and had done time in jail, but he had turned his life around and just wanted to be a good dad to his son. He would often tell me he hadn't had sex in eight years, that he didn't even remember what pussy tasted like. There were women that tried to date him, but since getting sober, he'd developed a myriad of mental ailments that affected him deeply.

We got close, and I spent six months obsessively infatuated with him, hoping that one day he'd at least allow me to give him head. The longer it went on, the less subtle I became until he grew so uncomfortable that started to be cold toward me.

James quit in 2021 and came back briefly in 2022; once my infatuation waned, we were able to be good friends, and we've stayed in touch over the years. He'd slept with a few women since 2019, but nothing that fulfilled him or led to anything more than sex. With my crush on him firmly in the past, I was able to shuck my rose colored glasses, and I realized that while he was a good guy, he had a lot of emotional baggage that would not get resolved without intense professional help. He'd tried therapists, but nothing that had worked out for him. I realized that we really were much better as friends and that had we somehow gotten together, it would not have been the fairytale romance I'd envisioned in my delusional brain.

Last summer, we were catching up and I confessed to him that I'd recently started becoming curious about vagina. I've had enough straight male coworkers over the years telling me that I should at least try it, asking how I could know I'm gay if I haven't slept with a woman; I suspect it might have imbedded itself in my brain. Unfortunately, all of my girlfriends were all in serious relationships, so I couldn't even experiment with someone I was comfortable with and trusted implicitly.

James was supportive and told me that being curious is nothing to be ashamed of. He told me that there was a period when he was a teenager that vagina had disgusted so badly that he'd abstained completely. I told him that one thing was for certain: that I love sucking dick, so much so that I'd even started filming it. He was oddly intrigued and said he wouldn't be mad if I sent him the video. What happened next was so out of the realm of possibility that a year later, I'm still perplexed by it.

James liked the video. He said that it looked like I really knew what I was doing and confessed that the video had gotten him hard. I jokingly told him to prove it. The picture he sent in response blew my mind. I have seen my fair share of penises at this point in my life, but James's is one of the most beautiful, perfect ones that I have ever seen. My mouth instantly started watering. He told me that it had been a long time since he'd gotten head; I offered to help him out with that -- if he was comfortable. He admitted that it was weird for him, because he isn't gay, but that the thought of getting good head made him rock hard.

Almost a year went by before it was brought up again. This time, James said that I had seen his dick, but that he hadn't seen mine. I sent him a pic; he was impressed. At one point, he said that he kind of wanted to make me cum. I figured that he'd been abstinent for so long that he was desperate for sex in any manner that he could get it. That night, he sent me a video of him cumming; I knew that no matter what it took, I was going to add him to my straight guy collection if it was the last thing I did.

Over the next few months, he messaged me at least once a week telling me how horny he was. He would start jerking off while watching porn and then message me and get off to me telling him how badly I wanted to give him a blowjob. After he nutted, he'd say that he wished he wasn't so scared to do it, because he knew how much I loved doing it and it looked like I knew what I was doing. I'd assure him that if he did let it happen, I wouldn't get weird and attached; that it could just be a friends with benefits thing. After all, I said, if your friends won't go down on you, who will?

Recently, I finally mustered up the energy to buy a new toilet seat. The one I had was old and had started to come loose. I'm not very good at 'guy' things, but even I can put on a toilet seat, so I figured, why not just do it, especially given that my IBS has gotten worse in the last few months, and the old toilet seat didn't have a lid to keep my cats from drinking from the toilet. When I got home that night with the new seat I was so ready to do something, anything to get that rush of success, but I was sadly disappointed. The old toilet seat had been on for so long that the bolts had rusted. I was able to yank one side free, but the other side broke free and remained firmly attached. I tried to He-Man it off, but no matter how hard I yanked on it, it wouldn't budge.

The following day, James messaged me, as usual, because he was horny, and my praise about how amazing his dick is helped him cum. After he'd orgasmed, I mentioned that I was annoyed with the toilet situation. I could easily have called my boss and asked for help, and he'd have done it, but I didn't want to bother him; he works nearly every day and is already so good to me. I didn't want to take advantage of his kindness, especially over something as stupid as a toilet seat. I figured if worse came to worse I could try going at it with a hammer. James offered to come over and help. Since I wasn't really in a position to turn him down, I accepted. I even suggested I'd be happy to go down on him, but he was uncomfortable with that, and said he'd prefer gas money.

When James arrived at my door, I was frantic. I'd rushed to clean up as much as I could while he made the half hour drive to my place. I'm not a dirty person, but with my IBS flaring up a lot lately, I have been lax on my housework. James is also allergic to cats, which I have plenty of, so scrambled to clean the litter boxes and vacuum up as much cat hair as I possibly could. I didn't want him to think I was a trashy person, and I certainly didn't want him to break out in an itchy rash, all for the sake of my derrière.

While he worked on the toilet, I casually mopped the floors, trying to stay out of his way. I hadn't seen him in person since our sexting had become normal; I'd already played my card and offered him head, and his rejection made the interaction awkward for me. I didn't blame him, after all, he was straight. He had told me once that back when he'd been a junkie, he'd let a guy go down on him for drugs, but that he hadn't enjoyed it because he wasn't into men. Part of me feared that if he ever did let me suck his dick, the same thing would happen, and my confidence would be shattered.

It quickly became apparent that the tools James had brought were not going to cut it. The nut had rusted onto the bolt so badly that he couldn't even get the socket attached to it. I assured him that I appreciated him trying and that I would get it figured out one way or another. The toilet itself still worked and at the end of the day, that was what mattered the most to me. I assumed that James would just pack up his toolbox and leave, but he lingered awkwardly, making small talk about my plans for the rest of the day and how much it sucked for me not having AC in my apartment.

When James grew silent, I was about to make up an excuse to send him on his way, but he surprised me yet again by turning to me in the dim light. "Do you really want to suck my dick?" he asked suddenly, looking me in the eyes.

"Yes," I replied, nodding. I hadn't just been buttering him up all the times I had told him that he had a perfect dick and that I could see why his crazy baby mama was still obsessed with him. My romantic feelings for him were long gone to the point where I often wondered what the hell I'd been thinking trying to get with him for so long. "Do you want me to?"

"I kinda do, yeah," he answered. He looked at me, assuming that I would have the balls to initiate this endeavor.

"I will if you want me to."

"I've got a half chub thinking about it," he confessed. I darted a glance down to the front of his khaki shorts, where, sure enough, I could see the beginning of a bulge. My mouth started to water in anticipation of what was to come.

"Want to go to the bed?" I asked. I prefer to do my sex acts in bed. I'm not ready for Boniva yet, but the idea of kneeling on my tiled floor for several minutes did not sound appealing, not even for James's perfect cock.

"Sure."

I walked ahead of him and started clearing off my bed. I have a bad habit of collecting extraneous things in my bed: my laptop, books that I've finished and haven't gotten around to putting away yet, water bottles. Okay, maybe I am kind of a slob. I had deliberaly left all of the lights in my bedroom off so he wouldn't see all of the things that I hadn't had time to straighten up. I'm hoping that once fall comes, it'll be cool enough and I'll feel well enough to be able to focus on getting my apartment organized again. I had just started getting back into the swing of organization at the end of winter, but as soon as it had started getting warm I'd had to stop. Without AC and my place runs ten to twenty degrees hotter than it is outside if I don't prop my back door open. The last thing I want is for one of my cats to sneak out and get lost, so I rarely do that

James kicked his shoes off and laid down. "Your bed is very comfy," he noted, stretching out on his back languorously.

"Thanks. It's the memory foam mattress topper I got at Walmart," I explained. "It also helps that this new bed has a better frame. My old one was a piece of shit and was just a bunch of wooden slats that snapped off if you moved the wrong way. I haven't woken up with a backache since I got this new bed."

"It's really nice."

I climbed onto the bed next to him, biting my lip. "So, how do you want to do this? Do you want me to just do it? Do you want to put porn on and then have me start once you're fully into it?"

"I don't think I'll need porn. I'm already there."

I reached down and started rubbing him through his shorts. His cock felt great, rock hard. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought that this fantasy would ever come true, not in a million years. "How's that feel?" I murmured, my voice husky with lust.

"Really good."

"Good."

After about a minute, he unzipped his shorts and pulled them down to his knees. Even in the dim lighting I could make out his clean shaven cock. Somehow, it looked even more amazing without the bush he'd had until recently. Deciding not to hesitate any longer -- afraid he'd come to his senses and back out -- I grabbed him in one hand and descended upon him with my mouth.

As soon as I started, a sigh of pleasure escaped his lips. It had been so long for him, and the idea that I was getting to be the one to relieve him of his burden, especially after six months of wanting him and six years of knowing him really turned me on. I felt myself start to leak precum, the wetness soaking into the front of my underwear.

"Well," he gasped, "I have no complaints." I watched through my lashes as he put his hands behind his head and all of the tension left his body. A sweet taste hit my tongue; even his precum tasted amazing! There are very few times in life where you get everything you want, but this seemed to be one of those rare times. I decided to savor every second of it.

Over the many conversations that James and I had had about this occurance, he had repeatedly expressed anxieties about his performance. He was worried that he wouldn't last long, which I'd always assured him was incredibly hot to me because it meant that I was so good that they guy just couldn't help but bust. Plus, as the one giving head, the longer the guy lasts, the more my jaw hurts and the more I tend to gag. I've always said that if I ever throw up on a guy's dick during head, I'm done. Thankfully, it still hasn't happened, though there have been a few close calls.

Despite his anxieties, James lasted a few minutes. I was worshipping his cock when he started to tense up. "I'm gonna cum," he moaned, squirming. I started sucking harder and faster and was rewarded with a nice, tasty load.

While he was getting his pants back up, I asked, "so how was it?"

"It was really good," he responded, slipping his shoes back on.

"Are you more comfortable with it now?"

"I think that definitely helped break the ice."

"Any time you want that, just say something. I'm more than happy to do that for you, unless I'm seeing someone."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Later that night, we were once again messaging and James said that he felt bad that he'd just left right after, but that he didn't feel like he was ready for more yet. I'm not sure if he meant sex or touching me, too, but either way, I enjoyed the experience and didn't want to rush him into anything, especially since I no longer thought of him romantically.

The following Monday, I was in bed recovering from yet another IBS attack when he messaged me asking when I had a day off. He'd borrowed his dad's saw and was confident that he could get that bolt off. I told him that I wasn't feeling well, but that if he wanted to swing by later that day he could. He wasn't sure if he'd have time, since it was his week to have his son, but he ended up having the time. It took him roughly two minutes to cut through the bolt and put my new toilet seat on.

I still wasn't feeling well, but I figured he'd want me to blow him again. I must be a freak, because when my stomach is upset, a nice creamy load miraculously calms my tummy. I know that there are almost certainly no medical studies that show that semen can alleviate stomach cramps and diarrhea, but it works for me.

He stood in my doorway again, asking me what my plans for the rest of the day were. I knew that he didn't have to pick his son up from band practice for at least another hour, so I figured it was a perfect opportunity to take care of business. I was surprised when he announced he was going to head out. I can't say that I was mad, though, because I had no right to be, and honestly, I was exhausted from my flare up.

A couple of hours later, I was just waking up from a much needed nap when my phone dinged, announcing a Facebook message. I wasn't surprised to see that it was from James. He said that he was home and was incredibly horny now. I told him that I'd have been more than happy to blow him when he was here but hadn't wanted to bring it up and risk making him uncomfortable. He had wanted to ask me, but couldn't bring himself to do it, especially since he'd known that I wasn't feeling well. He told me he'd gotten hard on the drive home thinking about me sucking him off. To top it off, he was masturbating while chatting with me and decided to turn the porn off and just jerk off thinking about me blowing him.

I don't think I've turned him gay in any way, or even bi, but I do believe that if a person is starved enough for affection, avenues that would normally not be considered start to look good. I definitely think that it helps that we've been friends for years; he knows he's safe with me and that I genuinely love giving head.

The future is unsure for me, but I have a suspicion that I'll be seeing more of James and his penis. I'm single, with no dating prospects in sight, so as far as I'm concerned, where's the harm in a little friendly blowjob? Romantic attachment is completely impossible at this point, and we both enjoyed it, so why not? I think people get too hung up on labeling their sexuality that they limit themselves. Personally, I don't feel that a guy is inherently gay just because he gets head from another guy, especially a close friend. I certainly wouldn't classify myself as bisexual because I fingered a girl once. I think everyone should be more open to exploring their sexuality and just going with the flow, after all, you never know where life will take you.