Girl Porn

Sorry fellows, this one is just for the ladies.

As many of you know, Glamourpuss Charlotte is my pen name. For years, I’ve written the more delicate material under this alter ego to protect my main, namesake brand.

Then, in 2020 when I used the extra downtime to (finally) create and launch my new website, I said, “SCREW IT.”

Unfortunately, my previous behavior is indicative of one of the last prefeminism taboos that I helped perpetuate through make-believe shame. You know the kind where women are supposed to be embarrassed about being pleasure-deserving sexual creatures with nerve endings and fantasies.

Then it shouldn’t come as a big news flash that we too get turned on by watching hot, on-screen interactions. But at least for me, they’re probably not what you think.

So, I’ll confess my three favorite mainstream movies and link to their “money scenes.”

What makes these so good? Well, for starters, the superb acting, the chemistry between the costars, and of course, the ultra-masculine men.

And even though the three protagonists are oh-so-very-different, they share one crucial thing in common ~ which is that they’re all extremely confident lovers.

3rd Place ~ Fifty Shades of Grey. 2015. Jamie Dornan & Dakota Johnson

You’ve probably met millions of people throughout your life. However, I bet you can count on one hand the times you locked eyes with someone, and sparks flew; it’s rare, instant, and unmistakable.

You know you’re in for it from the very first scene when Johnson's character, Anastasia Steele, meets the infamous Christian Grey, played by Dornan. Whether you’re a fan of BDSM or not, their passion will mesmerize you.

Although Grey’s not my style, if complicated men are your thing, get ready to swoon. For what Grey lacks in likeability or relatability, he makes up for with bottomless intensity and intrigue.

Sadly the sequels sucked, but the original will make your heart race. It also has my favorite movie soundtrack of all time.

Screen on Fire: The interview.

2nd Place ~ The Astronaut's Wife. 1999. Johnny Depp & ‎Charlize Theron‎.

Ask any of my lifelong girlfriends, and they’ll quickly tell you that I have a “type” and I never sway from it. Unlike the other two men on the list, Depp’s THAT guy.

I forget how gobsmackingly gorgeous these two sex symbols are together. Depp plays NASA astronaut Spencer Armacost while Theron portrays his elementary school teacher wife, Jillian.

While on a mission in space, Armacost survives an explosion. Immediately following the blast, he loses complete communication with the command center for two minutes.

Upon his return back to Earth, Armacost makes a full recovery, but his wife can't help but feel that something's not quite right with her charmer husband. Whether you’re a sci-fi lover, are hungry for suspense, or are looking for a love story, this flick has it all.

Screen on Fire: Pulse check. (YouTube will ask you to sign in to your Google account to verify your age.)

1st Place ~ In the Cut. 2003. Mark Ruffalo & Meg Ryan.

Ruffalo gives the best performance of his life in one of our generation's most cinematically beautiful movies. Not your typical thirst trap, Ruffalo’s a smoke-show as Detective Giovanni Malloy.

This erotic thriller focuses on Ryan, an introverted English teacher named Frannie Avery. She and Detective Malloy become romantically entangled as he investigates a series of gruesome murders in Avery’s Manhattan neighborhood.

My favorite goosebump-inducing scene happens before they even kiss. I couldn’t find it on YouTube; however, it’s spotlighted in the kickass trailer below at the 1:20 minute mark.

After Avery escapes an attack, she calls Detective Malloy to come to her rescue. As he’s trying to jog her memory of what happened, he stands behind her alternating, his arms around her neck, and the tension is palpable.

Screen on Fire: Was it his right arm or his left?

“Some love was made for the lights.” ~ Lumineers, Slow it Down