Five Days To Remember

Part one

“ I love you Gina “

“ I love you to Martin “

As the famous couple on Martin share a passionate kiss, the audience awed and the show went to commercial.

“ I’m sorry I have the t.v. to loud “ I scattered for the remote. “I’ll turned it down” snatching the remote off the queen size bed, he quickly put he’s hands on my hips.

“No ... leave it on “ guiding my foot steps back to the bed behind us as he stared down at me.

“How do you want me baby?”

“Anyway you like”

Slightly irritated I breathe a deep breath

“From the back ?”

“Are you cool with that?”

“Baby, you only have thirty minutes I -“

“Yes yes” nodding his head “turn around, on your knees on the bed”

“Let your feet hang off the side” he stood by my ankles cupping my ass.

“Face the red wall ... yea like that”

*Beep Beep Beep*

Slamming my hand on the side table pushing my phone to the floor “Fuck” I mumbled. *Beep Beep Beep* Quickly fumbling my right hand scrambling for the loud Iphone to press snooze

5:30am ...

Turning up with my head rested on my pillow once more, I stare at the egg shell wall of my bed room.

Having those dreams again... I thought

I turned my head to my side table and grabbed the Advil bottle next to my phone. Popped two and went back to sleep.

...

” And why do you think you are having those dreams again? ” Dr. Lynn asked crossing her legs as she began to jot down notes. I nervously looked down at my dirty sneakers on her clean grey carpet while playing with my fingers.

“I don’t know... “

“ Natasha? “

Why is my sneakers so dirty, I thought while I analyze my outfit. white Nike’s sneakers with a beige scoop top and black sweats. Every time we have an appointment, she always vacuumed her carpet and you can tell she put a powder down to have a “fresh” scent cmon Natasha you could have cl-

“Natasha? “

I look up.

“Are you okay? “I can tell she was concerned.

With a deep breath, blinking “ yes.... well no “... nodding my head

“No? “ She lean forward a little

“If I was I wouldn’t be here...” forcing a giggle to ease the tension.

Breathing out with a smile.

“there’s nothing wrong with seeing a therapist and I’m hope you grow comfortable with me so that we can get to know each other better.”

Pressing my lips together, tucking my shoes further under the small table that separated us. Have to give her credit, she knows how to set the mood. Light dimmed, yellow and blue box of puff tissues, calm decor with navy blue walls. You would think she copied everything off from a kohl’s magazine. But I am not going to cry. Nope. Not going to cry. Dark wood bookshelf filled with a rainbow of hard covered books, next to her computer desk. Mac computer.... of course.

She looked at me, still smiling “ so, placing her note pad and pen on the table “can you tell me? “

I quickly glanced at what she written.

Nothing but a word.

Sheltered

Turning my glance back to her.

“ that’s all you wrote? “

“Yes”

“Why?”

“Well, Natasha... why are you here?”

“Because... I lost everything” I can feel my face warming up. Damn.

My eyes starts to tear up. Damn it.

“ I lost my everything Dr.Lynn and ... “

Tears are pouring down my face.

“ ...and I don’t know how to get him back”

She handed me the box of tissues from the tiny table. Quickly grabbing two puffs to catch my running nose.

“ Start from the beginning “

.....

We met by accident. He was on a blind date and I was out with a friend. Val took me to this new Greek restaurant that her mother-in-law raved about and she needed vent to me, how much she hated her mother-in-law.

I was wearing a dull neon blouse with a black maxi skirt and black heels. I don’t think I will ever forget this day, because Of my headache. I had back to back meetings at the office and the last thing I wanted to do was hear Val complaining how Doris (mother-in-law) doesn’t know how to pronounce the word ask right. “ it’s like she’s wearing braces or something“ laughing as she sips her whine Val waves her right hand to her chest to swallow quickly and laughs “ like are you asking me or are you axing me “. Smiling I rolled my eyes “isn’t she 70 ?”

“Yes but that’s besides the point”

We laugh

Val gets up “ I’ll be right back, have to pee” as she walks towards the back by bathrooms, I scanned the room and saw a man sitting at the bar.

He was looking dead at me.

I quickly look down to the half finished pasta and took a long drink of my whine. Looked up and sure enough he’s still looking.

Chestnut tone, brown eyes, and an unbelievable smile... smile? Wait he’s smiling at me. I smiled back . He took that as an okay to come over and introduce himself.

“Hi I’m Jordan” awaiting my hand I shook his “Natasha, nice to meet you”

Jordan and I had this magnetic connection, it was the craziest thing. Like he was made to be with me.

We were inseparable. I forgot what we were laughing about and completely forgot about Val. Walking to our table confused as ever when she saw us.

“Um... hey you “ she looked him then me “Ohh hey, This is Jordan, Jordan, Val.

“Hi”

“Hi”

Definitely awkward at first, Jordan joining Girls-night-out-two person table but Breaking the ice came so naturally once Jordan offered to buy another round for us. By the end of the night he had my number.

“ I love your ass”

“ I love your lips”

“ I love sucking your breast”

“ I love ..... you”

“ I love you too”

16 months in and I want him to meet my parents. He completed me.

“So what happened “ Lynn asked.

“I Chea- I began to say but she screamed “Wait” with her hands in the air, and smirked “I’m sorry but we have ran out of time” she stood up and then so did I.

“Next week same time Natasha, whatcha say?” Welcoming me with open arms.

“Yes of course “ as I finished our hug and followed her out.

Part two

How do I tell her the truth ?

how do I explain to her why I did what ... I did

I hugged tea close to my lips as I took a sip. Still hot I thought.

I lean back in the dark grey loveseat.

I remember him holding me close.

“It’s going to be alright” tugging on my chin, my eyes greeted his.

“I’m sorry “ he said

I stood confused

“This is my fault, I’m the reason you left “

“No it’s not”

“ Yes... I gave you the idea- “ shoving me aside “IM THE ONE THAT TOLD YOU TO GO!”

My phone rings, waking me up from my flash back. It’s Jordan wait what?

“Hey...”

“ Did they touch kiss you ?”

“ What ?”

“Did they kiss youuu can’t hear?”

“Where are you?”

No answer

“Jordan? .... Jordan “

“WHAT!”

“Where ... are ....you?...”

“Outside your door”

....

As the stormy clouds showered over, I knew winter was coming. It was pouring when I open my front door. Jordan stood there gazed at the ground then looked up at me with a mean stare.

He was wearing a black leather jacket with yellow Tims and navy blue jeans like a model in a movie.

“ come in .. your getting soaked” locked on his brown eyes.

“No”

I raised my hand to his face and cherished every bit of this moment. He didn’t move.

How long has it been, 8-11 months? Damn he looked good.

Anna is a lucky women.

“ I miss you” he whispered

“ I miss you too “

He lean towards me and planted his lips against mine. He pushed me back into my apartment and closed the door behind him. His hands held my head and our tongues collided.

He pushed me to wall by the counter where I have the Lavender candle he gave me for my birthday.

“Mmm what bout Anna?”

He stopped before I finished saying her name and just stared at me.

“Sorry”, taking a step back .“ No, you know what” grabbing the purple candle and threw it to the door.

“Fuck You Natasha!” turning to face me.

“ How could you do that to me?”

“How many guys were there!?”

I couldn’t say anything, because I lost count.

“Did you suck them off too?!”

Pointing at him “I told you this already!”

“Did you ?!”

“YES!”

“You left me alone Natasha... I needed you!”

“I’m sorry” I cried. “ I messed up!...I fucked everything up”

Walking towards me “ yea” nodding his head up and down then embrace me in his arms once more and pulled away.

“ I love you”

“ I love you”

Then he was gone.

.....

When I woke up the next morning, heading towards the living room I was greeted by the shattered candle.

I smiled as I grabbed the broom and dust pan. He still loved me, like he said it. He still loves me....

Part three

“ I Cheated, it’s all my fault Dr.Lynn “

she gazed at me.”Why are blaming yourself Natasha?”

“Listen ...” I sat up, sitting up straight in her couch.

My heart was thumping in my chest and my hands were sweaty...

I needed her to understand...

to know the truth.

“ We saw an opportunity to earn more money but it was a misrepresentation”

“ A lie?”

“Yes ... please don’t look at me differently once I sha-

“Natasha, I can assure you everything said in this room, stays in this room “

“Okay” I took a deep breathe.

she crossed her legs from the left to the right and picked up her notepad.

I cleared my throat to continue.

”The ad indicated that they were looking for young curvy women for this role...”

”what kind of role?” she locked eyes to mine as she wrote then back to her notepad.

I sighed. ”To be an escort...

I was desperate ”

“How did you get to this point?” Lynn asked as she crossed her legs.

I paused for a long second. I didn’t know how to answer this question..

Should I tell her, growing up as the ”black sheep” in my family, caused me to be fidgety?

On edge ?

With a coke-dealer and omnivorous high school boyfriend David, I guess I can save that for later.

Who liked to practice boxing on my face..

“Natasha?”

I looked down at my hands

“ ... maybe it was the rush to get things back to normal or the fear of being on the street again “

“ I’m not following , Natasha... how did you get to the point ?”

As I look at her my mind draws a blank. My mouth was open but I couldn't respond. She stares at me as if I was going puke.

”Is there anything wrong?”

I quickly look down to my sneakers. Yes, the same dirty pair of sneakers. Damn... I always remember when I'm in front of her.

I look up. ”No... I just don't remember.... Sorry”

”its okay Natasha, we know your memories a bit cloudy that's why I'm here to help.” she gave me a sincere smile.

”let's start from a different angle.”

”okay” I nodded.

”Were you and Jordan together when you answered the ad?”

”Yes, we were.”

”and he was okay with you answering this ad to be an escort?” she squinted her eyes.

”well we thought I would be playing an escort so the idea of me doing that.. Was a turn on for Jordan.”

Lynn nodded then stopped. ”So-” looking at her notepad and back to me. ” you both thought it was? ”

”yes, we managed to call and make arrangements. The owner of the ad was named Tony. From that moment, we was on the phone with this man explaining our situation and hoping he’ll give me a shot. Next thing I knew, I was posing photos of my naked body as Jordan took pictures and we send them to this complete stranger.”

Lynn shook her head and lean forward and so did I.

” once Tony received them, he was ready to have me start but I had to travel to Detroit alone.”

” was the movie filmed Detroit ?”

”yes, filming was set to take place in Detroit but honestly the whole thing seem sketchy.. ”

My hands started to shake.

”but I had no choice. Jordan had no where to go either and since he was not able to come with me... “ my face grew hot.

“Natasha?”

I took a deep breath. “ since he couldn’t come with me... He was on the street.”

” Nata-”

” he was alone, with no one to help him. ”

I looked at her with tears pouring down my face.

”why did I do that?!?..... How could I... Just leave h-”

I was not sure if she heard me because I couldn't even understand what I was saying. I could not stop crying.

Lynn quickly got up and passed me her famous puff box of tissues and sat in her desk chair closer to me.

”Thank you... I'm sorry ”

” no Natasha you don't have to apologize for expressing yourself”

”okay”

” I promised to Jordan to sent him money and that I would be back in a few days but when I arrived, something wasn't right... ” I cleared my throat again. It was very cold. Tony was driving a run down van and there was a woman in the passenger seat. He introduced her as his sister as they drove me to Baymont Inn & Suites...”