Female Pleasure

There's two types of people, those who talk about their sex (and masturbation) life, and those who don't. Despite it being 2020, we are still in a day and age when women are judged for being horny. Some women are arguably more horny than men, yet it's a fact that is rarely understood by the general public. Why is it assumed that dudes are the ones who enjoy casually masturbating on a Tuesday afternoon? Are men the only ones allowed to randomly get horny from simple, nonsexual events like the sound of an electric toothbrush? Enough is enough. It would be nice if society embraced female sexuality as the spectrum of intensity it is.

“Society” is such a broad term. As an American, I tend to speak from a Western-centric point of view. Female pleasure is neglected, and shamed, all over the world though. There are some forward-thinking societies that embrace our horniness, but most do not. It has been historically demonized by various religions and governments (cough cough Catholicism cough cough).

Female masturbation has also been historically embraced by various cultures as well, though. Ancient greeks understood the importance of masturbation. They were still classy, however, by emphasizing that it is a private act (You can read up more on the history of masturbation here https://www.plannedparenthood.org/files/5513/9611/7867/masturbation_11-02.pdf).

What is ironic, is that female masturbation in America is less frowned upon by men when it is displayed for them to watch. Women tell their lovers that they masturbated, and insecure men feel hurt and betrayed by this. I personally have been shamed and made to feel guilty over this act by boyfriends in the past. The shaming is a projection of their own insecurities about their lack of ability to properly touch your clit, or even find it. Middle aged men judge cam girls touching themselves for money much less than they judge the thought of their wife alone and awkwardly going to town with her vibrator in the privacy of their home. It would be nice if we reverted back to the Greek’s mindset. Vibrators and dildos should be normalized, even encouraged, for every woman to own.

The stigma behind masturbation does not discriminate. The stigma also does not stop at masturbation. It has come to my attention that plenty of men out there are incredibly embarrassed and uncomfortable with the idea of using a sex toy with their partner. Gay men get it, they have sex toys up the wazoo, but the straight men treat the bullet vibrator as if it is trying to steal their girlfriend. God forbid they receive assistance in stimulating the clit, which is rarely touched.

Disclaimer, women do this too. There are plenty of women who are insecure and take it out on their partners. This article is not supposed to be a feminist beat down of men. Women also supply plenty of shame. They shame men and other women for masturbating. There is no shortage of shaming.

It breaks my heart knowing that so many vibrant women have been verbally put down by “friends” because they spoke up abut a kink or cool sex toy. Karen should not tell Betty that she is a sociopath because she likes being choked in the bedroom by Ken. Karen should acknowledge that she isn’t into that, but cheer Betty on for knowing what she likes. Betty deserves to be choked, if she communicates to her partner that gentle choking is what she desires.

Everyone’s experience with sex, masturbation, sexual pleasure, and the discussions of these topics are different. Everyone should respect boundaries and not force these personal topics onto people who are deeply uncomfortable with it. Respelling boundaries is the foundation of human decency. With that said, we should be trying to slip in a few more sex toy talks with our friends and family, to help de-stigmatize female sexual pleasure. Everyone deserves to cum!