Everything You Need to Know About Female Arousal

What is arousal?

Arousal is the state of being awake and focused on a certain stimulus. In this article, we’re specifically talking about sexual arousal, which is about being sexually excited or turned on. For individuals who have a vagina, this involves a number of physiological changes in the body.

Is there a difference between arousal and desire?

The words arousal and desire are often used interchangeably, but they’re slightly different.

Desire usually refers to emotionally wanting to have sex, while arousal refers to the physiological changes in your body that happen when you’re sexually excited.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, desire disorders involve a lack of sexual desire or interest in sex, while arousal disorders involve wanting sex but struggling to get your body in the mood.

Just because someone shows signs of sexual arousal doesn’t mean they want to have sex — nor does it mean they consent to having sex.

Always practice enthusiastic consent: If you’re not sure whether your partner is into it, always ask!

Where does arousal fit into the stages of sexual response?

According to the United Kingdom’s National Health Services (NHS), researchers have identified four stages of sexual response — that is, the stages your body and mind goes through before, during, and after sex.

Arousal falls into the first stage of the sexual response cycle.

Excitement

The sexual excitement stage — also known as the arousal stage — involves a range of physiological changes in the body. Most of these functions prepare the body for vaginal intercourse.

For example, your vagina becomes more wet because the glands produce lubricating fluids. Your clitoris and vulva swell up as your blood vessels dilate. Your nipples might become more sensitive to touch, too.

Plateau

The plateau stage is the period before orgasm. In this stage, the changes you feel in the excitement phase intensify. Your breathing may quicken, and you may start moaning or vocalizing involuntarily. Your vagina might tighten and produce more lubrication.

Orgasm

The orgasm stage is often considered the end goal of sex, but it doesn’t have to be! It’s totally possible to have pleasurable sex without reaching orgasm.

Orgasms can include muscular convulsions, especially in the lower back and pelvic area. At this stage, your vagina might tighten and it might become more lubricated.

It’s associated with a sense of euphoria and pleasure.

Resolution

After orgasm, your muscles relax and your blood pressure drops. Your clitoris might feel particularly sensitive or even painful to touch.

You might experience a refractory period, during which you won’t be able to orgasm again.

Some people experience multiple orgasms, but that’s not necessary for you to have a pleasurable sexual experience. The most important thing is for you to listen to your body and be comfortable.

How does your body respond to arousal?

Some of the physical responses to arousal include:

Your pulse and heartbeat quicken, and your blood pressure rises.

Your blood vessels dilate, including blood vessels to the genitals.

Your vagina and vulva might become wet to help lubricate the genitals.

Parts of your vulva, such as the labia (lips) and clitoris, become swollen due to the increased blood supply.

Your vaginal canal might expand.

Your breasts become fuller, and your nipples may become erect.

How does your mind respond to arousal?

You might struggle to concentrate on anything else — even if you’re not actually having sex!

That’s because sexual stimuli activates certain changes in your brain, inducing certain sex-focused brain activity.

However, there’s still a lot we don’t know about how the brain works, including how the brain works during sex.

Is there a difference between female and male arousal?

Your physical response to arousal will depend on your genitals, of course. But there are a few similarities in how most people experience arousal.

No matter what your genitals look like, blood would usually flow to them due to the dilation of the blood vessels.

If you have a vagina, that might result in the swelling of the clitoris and labia. If you have a penis, this blood flow causes an erection.

This blood flow could also cause your cheeks and chest to flush.

A lot of mainstream media focuses on the differences between men’s brains and women’s brains, including when it comes to sex. But brain-wise, men and women actually aren’t that different.

One 2012 studyTrusted Source involved viewing the brain through an fMRI machine while subjects watched erotic videos. The fMRI machine helped the researchers see how the brain was affected during arousal.

It found that, while sexual stimuli activated the amygdalas and thalami more in men, it generally had a similar effect on all subjects.

It’s worth noting that these studies often don’t include intersex and transgender participants.

Is there anything you can do to increase arousal?

To increase sexual excitement, you can prolong foreplay.

This means that before sexual intercourse or masturbation, you take time to arouse yourself by experimenting with different erogenous zones, using different toys, or trying different kinds of sensual touch.

For example, you might feel turned on when you touch your nipples, kiss your partner for a long while, or use a sex toy.

It might be helpful to attend couple’s counseling or sex therapy to help you and your partner communicate better and practice healthy forms of intimacy.

What’s the deal with OTC and prescription drugs for female arousal?

In 2015, the Food and Drug Administration approved the use of flibanserin (Addyi), a prescription pill that treats female sexual interest/arousal disorder. This is a Viagra-like drug, and it’s taken daily.

The research on Addyi is mixed. While it’s been shown to be effective for some, others don’t find it helpful.

There’s also some controversy around the number of side effects this medication has, which include:

dizziness

difficulty falling asleep or remaining asleep

nausea

dry mouth

tiredness

hypotension, or low blood pressure

fainting or loss of consciousness

The drug shouldn’t be combined with alcohol. It can interact with many other medications and supplements. It can even interact with grapefruit juice.

In 2019, the FDA approved bremelanotide (Vyleesi), a self-administered injectable medication. It’s taken as needed.

Potential side effects of Vyleesi include:

severe nausea

vomiting

flushing

injection site reactions

headache

If you want to try out either of these medications, speak to your doctor. Be sure to tell them your medical history, including any supplements you’re taking. Ask for a referral to a sex therapist, too, in order to explore any vulnerable factors that may be impeding you from wanting sexual activity.

A sex therapist will help you to identify mental health or relational factors that may be negatively affecting you and teach you more about your sexual health.

Adhere to their advice, and don’t take any more supplements or medications — even over-the-counter (OTC) medications — without their prior approval.

What if you don’t experience arousal at all?

If you want to have sex but don’t seem to experience sexual arousal, this can be difficult to deal with. You might have a sexual dysfunction disorder.

Usually, sexual dysfunction relating to arousal is called female sexual interest/arousal disorder.

It’s also OK if you experience little or no desire to have sex. Many people identify as asexual, which means they feel little or no sexual urges.

Asexuality isn’t a disorder or condition, but an identity — much like any sexual orientation.

Asexual people may or may not experience arousal, and while some asexual people do have sex, others don’t.

If you think you’re asexual, it might be helpful to do a little research on the subject and connect with the asexual community. The Asexual Visibility & Education Network is a good place to start!