Don't overly focus on whether a girl is a virgin or not

In recent years, period dramas and palace intrigue series have gained immense popularity. Through these shows, audiences get a glimpse into the lives of ancient imperial harems. It’s common knowledge that once a woman entered the palace, regardless of her willingness, she would first be inspected by the emperor. Those not chosen were permitted to seek happiness outside the palace. Yet, the selected concubines would spend their entire lives with only the emperor as their partner. For some, gaining the emperor’s favor was a blessing; for others, obscurity in the harem became their lifelong reality.



In the palace, women were expected to remain chaste. Upon entering the palace, their virtue was rigorously examined through various methods, many of which were unscientific and bizarre. These included inspecting a woman’s genitalia or having her squat over a sand-filled bucket to observe if the sand was disturbed. Other methods involved examining skin, eyebrows, crow’s feet, or even walking posture. To ensure the chastity of palace women, young girls were often selected and marked with cinnabar, a practice that symbolically bound them to the palace.



The Concept of Virginity May Fade



Looking back, the practices of ancient harems seem antiquated and cruel. The patriarchal society and its emphasis on male dominance severely restricted women’s bodily autonomy. This fixation on virginity not only oppressed women but also imposed pressures on men. The notion that “my first time is yours, and you must take responsibility” has long been a source of stress and conflict.



Love should enrich lives, but when mixed with possessiveness and control, it can destroy happiness. In ancient times, men hunted and fished while women gathered and cared for children, with no emphasis on virginity. Even in matriarchal societies, there was no concern over male chastity. It was only as civilization progressed and sexuality became linked to “virtue” that the concept of virginity emerged.



The True Value of Love Lies in Sincerity



The most precious aspect of love is the presence of genuine affection. If you truly love someone, you should want them to be happy, and virginity should not be a concern. Over time, human desires have become more diverse and complex. With the rise of male-dominated societies, chauvinistic ideologies have taken root, particularly in how men view their female partners.



When a man idealizes virginity, it often reflects inner insecurities and inferiority complexes. He may fear that if his partner is not a virgin, she might compare past sexual experiences with him. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and vulnerability. Men, being sexual creatures, naturally desire to perform well in bed. The thought of being outdone by others can be intolerable and threatening.



This chauvinistic mindset objectifies women, reducing them to mere possessions categorized as “used” or “unused.” Such thinking is driven by a misplaced sense of ownership and control, rather than a healthy perspective.



Equality and Modern Relationships



All individuals are born equal and possess independent identities. As society evolves, gender roles have shifted. Modern relationships are built on free love, where men are not the sole breadwinners and women are not confined to domestic duties. Intimacy and emotional connection have become more valued in relationships, and consensual premarital sex is increasingly accepted. These changes indicate that the outdated concept of virginity is fading and no longer suits contemporary society.



Men should adopt a healthier mindset. Mature men focus on the quality of each relationship and sexual experience rather than fixating on virginity. Finding a partner who resonates with you and is willing to build a future together is far more important than pursuing virginity. It is crucial for men to engage with women positively and communicate openly to understand their needs and desires.



By letting go of outdated notions of virginity, men can better appreciate the depth of connection and intimacy in relationships. This shift not only fosters healthier interactions between men and women but also allows for more meaningful and fulfilling partnerships.