Deep Dark Secret

No one knew it would come to this as I stood there naked wearing nothing but shame. As I looked at the man, I married for ten years face full of confusion, sadness, and heartbreak. He is looking at the man I fell in love with. My husband realizing everything he felt about my infidelity is true. He had the feeling of hatred written all over his face. The man that stole my heart from the one I married. This man tall, dark, and handsome swept me away. I loved both, but my heart belongs to my best friend. You see Samir came in my life where I was full of self-hate and loveless nights.

I was once so happy in my marriage to Lamont. He showered me with love. He showed me that I am capable of loving someone. However, we had our issues. I was ready for marriage and yes, my mouth was ruthless, however every single time we got over a hurdle another tragedy stopped our progress. He has cheated on more than one occasion. The first time was with his ex. The story behind that is we argued over a stupid car. You see I wasn't working, and he was, and we just purchased a car. The car was in his name and as a married man he had the mentality that since he bought it then it only belonged to him. He always drove the car. Now without me he wouldn't be able to drive off the lot because negro was illegal. However, the argument led to him going over his ex-house and he kissed her. Now I know you are saying a kiss is just a kiss, but his ex-girlfriend wasn’t just an ex. He was going to marry her, but she cheated on him. She was the friend of the family, so she was close to him.

So, we moved past his one incident, but it came to him denying our marriage to strippers and random girls. We had a rough marriage in the beginning, but I stayed. You can call me crazy or stupid, but I loved him, and I fell in love with his potential. Now what drove me down this road was the last hurtful thing was he created a baby with a random. You see that took my soul and my joy, but I still stayed. Now we are here nine years later and I'm standing in this triangle I created. He had the best of both worlds. This man would be married Monday through Thursday and single on the weekend. I learned a man will do what you allow him to do. I know I shouldn't be mad because I allowed the foolery, yet again I loved him.

Best Friend...............................to be continued

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Samir O'del Jackson, the man that pulled off the greatest robbery. He stole my heart, but not at first. I met him at my darkest moment, when life was hell at home and the world seemed so helpless. We met during a parent teacher conference. I was talking to one of my student's parents and walked a tall smooth glass of milk with pretty teeth. He was dressed in his work clothes all dirty but looked so clean. He was one of our schools' construction guys. I got so distracted I totally lost my train of thought and had to excuse myself. On my way to the restroom I bumped into this strong and tall man. Lord behold it was him and I just knew all of my juices started flowing. "Excuse me, I didn't see you there. Are you okay?" Lord I couldn't find the word yeah, yes, I'm fine, no words could form. "Miss are you okay?'' Oh, I'm fine. I'm sorry I bumped into, I wasn't paying attention. "No, it was me, every man should make way around such a beautiful woman such as you. Hello, I'm Samir nice to bump into you." I'm Mrs. Williams and it was a pleasure meeting you. "Well you have a nice day Miss Williams." It's Mrs. Williams, but you do the same. I walked away with a huge smile on my face. He was so fine and when I say fine I meant he is up there with Morris Chestnut and Kofi. His hands were so soft and his teeth were so pretty and white.

After I got done with my conference all I could do was think of that smooth chocolate milk. I arrived home and now I am welcomed to hell. Of course, Lamont is not home too busy with his friends. At this point I'm used to it. I can only try to be the best wife I can be. Life here was not all bad. We had good days, but bad arrived when he lost his job and from there he just didn't give a shit, but I stayed hoping he would change. The next day I was so happy to go to work. I never used to watch what I wore to work. I made sure I got to work early so I can see his face. Since I knew they were working on building a new library, I knew he would be there early so he can make sure his crew is okay before morning traffic. I arrived at the school with such joy like I'm meeting Morris Chestnut or something. I walked into the building heading to my class and it was chocolate standing at my door. "Hi Mrs. West, I wanted to come and apologize again for my mistake yesterday. I didn't mean to harm you in any way." It is okay. I was not harmed in no form or fashion. You can come in if you would like, I don't bite. Lord his cologne was the heaven of me. He smelled like fresh sunrise and Irish spring.

Well Mrs. Williams I wanted to apologize and make sure you were okay. Well it was sweet to come check on me, but I'm fine, I'm a tough woman so not much can make me fall. "Yes, well I will go back to my men to make sure we build this school properly." He started to walk out the room and I guess something came over him because next thing I hear "Is it a way I can make it up to you and invite you to lunch?" Now you guys know every inch of my body wanted to shout because this man just asked me out, but you know I had to keep my cool. Wow I mean the teachers and I are going to a dinner tonight if you want you could join us? You can tell disappointment hit his soul he wanted us alone, but even though my marriage is in shambles I will not cheat or entertain anyone. "Yeah I can meet you guys, here is my number just text me the location." He left as my 3rd grade class began to enter and Lord all I could think is I can't do this. This is a form of cheating and I can't go out with him, but then again, it's a group outing so what can go wrong.

It was the end of day and headed to XOXO where we will be having our dinner. Lord why did I allow April to pick the place she is the ratchet one. I walked in and I can really say it was not loud and ratchet at all. Very elegant but with a splash of it was a man that built this company. I walked over to our table where I see April, Michelle, Candace, Michael, Tyrone, and surprisingly Principle Stewart. "Hey girl, how are you, I'm glad you came." I am happy that I'm here. We need a break and celebration for our raises we will be receiving this month. The waiter approached me "Hi, I'm Sam. I will be your waiter. What would be your choice of drink?" I would love a Sunrise Ocean. “Oh, you trying to get drunk," shouted April. Everyone started laughing. The waiter left to get my drink while I patiently and nervously waited on chocolate. Hopefully he shows up. Here you go, thank you so much. Apparently, April already ordered our food, I hope it is good because I am starving. As we wait for our food we drink to catch up on life. "Hi is this seat taken?" Lord I looked up and it was him. Now for some reason a smile came across my face. No, everyone, this is Samir. He is a part of the construction crew for the school. "Well owner and Samir Williams, but you can call me Samir. Lord all my juices were flowing, but I knew I couldn't act on it. This is April, Michelle, Michael, Candace, Tyrone, and of course you know Principle Stewart. He sat next to me as he started greeting others. He embodies sex and wears it well, but Ren you can't act on these emotions. As we sat and ate, talked, and drank I realized it was late I had to go. I have an early morning with my Saturday class. I began to gather up my things and said goodbye to everyone and began to exit. " Wait, let me walk you to your car. I don't want you to walk alone at this time of night." We exit the building together and I promise you it was the sweetest thing that anyone could do for me. We managed to get to my car with no harm. As I was about to get into my car, I felt a hand press up against my hand. "I don't want to sound out of the way or overstepping any boundaries, but this is the best time I've had in years and I thank you for inviting me." You are welcome. It was my pleasure. I had a wonderful time as well. "Maybe one day you and I can have a moment. In a strictly platonic way. I know you are married so I don't want to seem like I'm overstepping just want to personally thank a friend." Wow well I will see you at school from time to time, maybe we can do lunch at school. I got into my car and drove off. It was a nice gesture, but again I'm loyal to my husband even when he is not there, two wrongs don't make a right. I can say this though I'm so horny right now he really got me going. I arrived drunk and horny terrible combinations. I walked in and it's Lamont rushing to get off the phone. I don't know why he is trying to hide it. I know he is cheating hell his messages pop up on the iPad.

“Hey babe how was your night with your coworkers? It was fine just going over school stuff. Now I'm tipsy so I don't want any conversation. I just really want to be fucked right now. I walked over to him and hopped on his lap ready to have my back blown. I started kissing his neck which smelled like a woman, but I didn't care because I wasn't fucking him tonight, I was fucking Samir this night. He ripped my shirt off and began sucking on my nipples. He slid his hand down my skirt and started fingering me. All I could do was think of Samir and hands on me and his voice whispering in my ear. He started pulling my hair and grabbing my ass. Shit this shit feels good. I unbuckled his pants and started kissing his chest. I needed to lead myself down there just in case a bitch pussy was on his dick but surprisingly no pussy smell. I began sucking his dick. As I hopped on his dick, putting his balls in my mouth, swallowed every inch of dick. His toes curl up and he is grabbing my hair. I started going faster and faster. I know it’s wrong for thinking of another man, but I haven't had attention in so long and sex is far and stretched. Before he could cum, I started riding his shit like a cowgirl. I started fucking him harder. All I hear him say is oh shit, fuck girl. I know that's when he about to cum, but no I’m not finished yet I got on my knees and he began to fuck from behind. I love this position. He began pounding harder and harder from this I feel like he was fucking another bitch, but I didn't care because tonight was about Samir. Next thing you know I'm squirting everywhere. Shit I didn't care if he got his, but somehow, he did.

Damn Ren we haven't fucked like that in a minute, you show go out more if you come home to me like that. Now in my mind I’m like you barely home for me to fuck, but I just agreed and proceeded to the shower. All I could think about Samir was a fine ass. I couldn't wait to go to work tomorrow. I'm glad they work on the weekend. I laid down to catch my breath and ended up falling asleep. It is crazy but I think Samir was an eye opener. The next morning, I was ready to see such a good day at school. I just knew I was going to see him. Even though I've been dreaming of him it is still not cheating. I arrived at work and all I could see are the children ready to learn yet another day. I was ready to see him at my door, to see his smile and smell the scent of his cologne. As I approach my door, I realize there was no chocolate milk standing there. All you could see was disappointment written all over my face. I began my lesson today. All I could do was think like wow no pop up today, but hey maybe he got the message I'm married.

It's the end of the day and no visit. Well I shouldn't get mad. I'm married so I shouldn't get mad. As I cleaned up my class, I heard a knock on my door and it is Mr. Chocolate himself. He stands there like a tall glass of milk. "Hi Mrs. Williams,. I'm sorry to bother you, I just wanted to come see how you were doing. I see you made it home safe. Can I come in?"

Yes, you can come in. I'm just packing up, the kids made a mess. How are you? And thank you for walking me to my car the other night. "I'm okay. I just wanted to check on you." Oh, how sweet thank you. I'm so confused why would he even want to talk to me. I mean someone fine like him shouldn't find any interest in me. "Well I will let you go and be safe." He left the room and swear his cologne lingers and it has this fresh scent of Heaven. On my way home I received a text from April wanting to go out and talk. I already know what she wants to talk about. Her man has been getting on her nerves and all she wants to do is get drunk and talk about our failing marriages. I met up with April at her house. All she could do is talk about Mitch don't spend time with her, if only she knew about how my man keep cheating and fucking other women then she will probably be grateful about her working man. I spent at least two hours over there drinking and eating.

I went to the bar to drink some more. I have so much to drink off. When your friends give you their problems, I swear I take them on and then I feel their pain. As Jill Scott was playing and I'm on my third Sex on the Beach I feel this soft, but manly hand on my shoulders. It was Samir and boy he looks like he had a rough day. "Hello, Mrs. West, I didn't expect for you to be in a place like this." Well it is a bar and there are a lot of places you wouldn't think I would be in. How are you? "I'm okay just had a rough day at the construction site. My men are getting sloppy and I want it to be perfect." Well I'm sure they are just tired, but they will be fine, here go right ahead and take a seat. We sat there drinking and having a good time. I have not had fun like this in years. It started to get late, so I needed to leave. I could barely stand, so I knew I couldn’t drive. “You are not in the shape to drive under these conditions, is it someone I can take you to, or can you go home?” I can go over April’s house, she lives a couple of minutes from here. We proceeded to his truck. He picked me up because I was stumbling and could barely walk. “What is her address?” It is 2226 1st Street SW. I laid back, while he started driving off. "Why are you drinking on a school night? It is not safe for you to be like this." Look I had a rough day and I am pretty sure I will have a rough night. I don't need someone who doesn't know me and who can barely speak his feelings. Don't sit there and judge me when you don't even know how to express yourself. He pulled over and parked and faced me and said," I don't speak my truth because if I speak my truth, I know it will be shot down or people will look at me differently. I'm going to take you to April's so you can sober up, I don't want you to do this again, I'm happy I was here, who knows what would have happened if you would have done this without anyone here." We locked eyes as if time stopped and no one in the world existed. I knew this was the moment, I knew the kiss I was waiting on was about to happen. As I got closer to him the emotions in my body started rushing. As I leaned in to kiss him, he snatched away. "I can't do this, we can't do this, I respect you and your relationship, and as a man I will step to something that's not free." Wow my feelings were hurt. I really wanted that kiss, but I swear it still turned me on. It was sweet, he didn't take advantage of me, but I wanted him to take all my clothes off and give me every piece of him. He started driving, it was so quiet in the truck. We arrived at April's, I got out and proceeded to walk to her front door. "Do you want me to walk you to the door?" No I'm okay I can take it from here, I'm sober now.

The next morning I woke up with a terrible hangover. "Girl what happened to you last night? You look like you had a rough ass night." April, it was a rough time yesterday. I had too many last night. " Who dropped you off? I saw a truck, it looked like Mr. Samir's truck." It was his truck, he dropped me off. We ran into one another at Bar and I sort of got wasted and he drove me here. I would tell her we almost kissed, but I think I'm going to save that for myself. "We'll get dressed, you can borrow an outfit for work. We have to get dressed for our meeting. It starts at nine so get to stepping." I took a shower and got dressed. I tried to look for something that wasn't too revealing. April knows how to flaunt it, so many can want it. My phone started ringing and it was Lamont. I see it was 30 missed calls. Lord let me call this man before he goes crazy. "Hey bae I'm sorry I didn't come home or call last night. I got drunk with April and passed out on the couch. "It's cool I didn't know you were gone, I just got home and didn't see your car this morning. "Well if you just now getting home, what is up with the missed calls? "Oh sorry baby I guess I butt dial you, you know my phone be tripping, but I'm happy you are okay and I guess I will see you when you get off." We finally made it to work. I ran to my class to make sure my babies were okay. I walked in my class and as usual my babies were loud. "Hello Mrs. West! Hi class, I want you to work on page 82 in your English book while I go to this meeting. I grabbed my laptop and proceeded to exit the class. "Mrs. West!" I turned around and it was Samir. Hello, Mr. Williams. What is it I can do for you? I saw nothing but confusion on his face when I got him with the formal Mr. Williams. "Well I was just checking on you. I wanted to make sure you made it safe and you are okay." I'm fine thank you for asking, but I have to go. "Will I see you later?" You can always come visit me in my class if you have any questions. I walked away, I knew he was confused and pissed, but he shot me down and also he is right I'm married. I know I shouldn't be having these feelings, but I do and I know I can't act on them. So I'm going to leave him alone.

After two hours of talking about planning for the remaining school and funding, we finally ended. The kids were at lunch so I decided to spend my time in the classroom. All I could do is think about Samir. Okay Ren you have to focus on something else, he is not your man and you are not his woman. Knock, knock, and it was him. "You said I can come visit you in class so I'm here." Okay, you can come on in and sit. What's up? "Well I want to say I'm sorry, that night was messy.” It was okay, I’m sorry for coming on too strong. It was not my intention to scare you or to come on to you. I was drunk and I do apologize. “Well I understand when it comes to having a stressed day, sometimes you have to let go and enjoy yourself.” Smh, you are so correct, but I will not get drunk like that anymore. “You have a good day and I will see you tomorrow.” A couple hours later and it was time to go. Goodness I’m so happy it is the end of my day, but I have to do this again tomorrow, I love my kids, but damn I am tired.

Driving home and all I can think about is that night of shame. A notification pops up on my phone and it is My Car app that tells me if something is wrong with my car. It looks like I have a flat tire, I pulled over and sure enough it was a small hole, but it looks like it was going to be nasty once I got on the highway. While I waited for roadside assistance, I called Lamont and of course he didn't answer, so I just waited. Time was flying by so fast. I called RSA again to see when their ETA and these fools said they will be there at 6. Lord, how am I going to make it to six? I'm tired and hungry and really need a drink right now. So it's now 5:30 and I just knew they were going to arrive early. A truck pulled up, but it wasn't a tow truck, a man jumped out and it was Samir. "Hey I saw you on the side of the road, do you need some help?" Yeah my tire is completely gone. I can't continue driving on this tire. " Do you have a spare tire? I can switch the tires for you. I have a spare tire and thank you so much. He switched the tires in no time. Do you want to get some coffee? I know it is late, I figured coffee is better than liquor. We drove to Mama Joe Ann Café, the best café in the whole state. I want to say thank you for saving me, you have been doing that a lot lately. "It is no problem, I hate to see women out alone, too many people dying. How is it being a teacher?" It is a struggle sometimes, not with the kids, but with their parents. You have some parents who don't want to participate in their kids' lives, and it hurts me. So I try to treat each child like my own. "Do you have any kids?" No I don't, I want some, but Lamont decided we need to wait. "Who is Lamont?" Oh sorry, he is my husband, his name is Lamont. We've been married for nine years. "How is being married?" It is good and sometimes you have your bad, but you hope the good overcomes the bad. "Do you love him?" I almost choked on my coffee, I didn't expect him to ask this question. As soon as I was about to fix my mouth to answer the waiter came over. "What can I get you two love birds today?" Both of us blushed as if we were teenagers again. We are not a couple, I'm married, we are just friends. The waitress had a confused look on her face. I will take a ham egg and cheese omelet with hash browns with cheese and orange juice. "What about you sir?" I will just have a BLT no butter. The waitress walked away. I see you are trying to stay fit, Me. No butter. We both smiled. *You didn't answer my question." Enough about me, what about you? Are you single? "Yes, I am, but I am exploring my options. I haven't found a woman that can steal my heart." Do you love construction work? " Yes, I have been building things since I was little."

We were there for at least three hours. Our conversation was so deep, but yet so funny. We left the building and started walking to my car. I was so tired, but I had a good time. I got in my car and for some reason it wouldn't start, I underestimated my gas tank and now I need gas. "If you want to I can run you up to the gas station. I have a gas can so we can get the gas and come back and fill you up." I got into his truck and we started driving to the gas station. Lord knows I need to keep my composure. His scent, his voice, his touch, his everything just causes my blood to rush. We stopped at a gas station and he proceeded to enter the station to fill up the gas can. I'm sitting here contemplating if I want to try this road. I swear all I can see is the room booming. He got back in the truck and I can tell his blood is rushing. His hands gripping the steering wheel tight as hell. “I got your gas, let's get you up and running. He started driving back to the café. Lord please help me hold my composure, this man is too fine and I haven't had any in a long time. Well we made it to the Café, he pulled over and parked. “What's wrong? You look like something is bothering you. Is it something I can help you with?” He doesn't want to know what he can help me with, it will cause too many issues. I’m Fine, I guess I am tired. My mind started wondering every nasty thing I can think of. Something came over because the thoughts started to get deep and explicit. I started biting my lips as I was staring at him. “Serenity, are you okay?” The next thing I knew I started kissing him. His lips tasted so good, like the kiss of life with a taste of honey. He kissed me back and grabbed my hands and pulled me closer to him. The kiss got intense, I found myself on top of him kissing him as he massaged my thighs, then my waist. I started kissing him on his neck, I promise you another beast appeared, this man took off my shirt and started kissing my nipples. I found myself riding him, his dick was marvelous, basically it had to be only made for me. I don’t know why I am doing this, I know this is wrong in every way, but it feels so good. He pushed the seat back and laid me down and began eating me out. I never had this type of head, he was cleaning his plate like he was a dishwasher. My legs started shaking and I was so fucking wet. He had nothing but my juices all over his face. Shit is all I could think to say. Shit Samir, I am about to cum, damn stop, stop , stop, shit I’m about to cum. He stopped eating and lift my legs up and began pounding. That shit was wondering, he gripped my waist and pound faster and harder. “Shit Ren, fuck your pussy so good, can this be mine?. I found myself screaming yes. We both climaxed together.