“Dear Mr. Brody” by A.M. Johnson - Review

Parker,

I never meant for any of this to happen, to fall for you. It doesn't matter that we're both adults, or how much we want this to work. The college policy is clear. I can't see a way around this without one of us getting hurt. If I would’ve known who you were when we met online, I would have never pursued a relationship. I'm new to all of this, and besides my daughter, getting to know you has been the best thing to ever happen to me. But I can't make you hide again. I won't. It's not fair to either of us.

Deepest regrets,

Donovan

**

Dear Mr. Brody,

You're right, we are adults. I'm twenty-four years old, and I think I can decide for myself what's best for me. If this is about you losing your job, I'll walk away. But if this is you trying to protect me, then you're an idiot. I want you. I care about you. My past isn't an issue. What we're doing… it isn't the same thing. If we have to hide, so be it. I'm not ready to let you go.

Your Lost Boy,

Parker

This was my first time reading a book by A.M. Johnson and after reading several psychological thrillers, I decided to branch out of my reading norm. I went into this looking for an easy romance and while I expected the angst ridden tropes, I hoped to at least like the main characters.

Instead, Donovan and Parker were two of the most infuriating characters I’ve had the misfortune of reading, I think they actually overshadowed my dislike of the protagonists in Sally Rooney’s Normal People. The author clearly wanted to make this an “okay” student/teacher relationship - by setting this in a university, having both characters above the age of consent and an age-gap no one would bat an eyelid at - yet never addressing how unethical this relationship is, especially with a clear power imbalance at its core.

So, Donovan is a publishing agent who after an amicable divorce with his cheating wife decides to explore his suppressed bisexuality as a free agent. Correction, he ponders it for so long it becomes tedious and has a quarter life crisis all internally - even though most of his co-workers, author clients and friends are on the LGBTQ spectrum themselves.

For reasons that were perplexing at best, the book’s action really kicks in when he takes a part-time English Lit lecturer job at the local university where he teaches one class of the the same students - so there’s probably about ten-fifteen students he’s teaching based on my knowledge of part-time evening classes. Yet he struggles with balancing both jobs, despite wanting a full-time job which would include several different classes and several different groups of students…

Here he begins a flirtation with aspiring writer Parker, former navy soldier and nine years his junior. Parker has a crush on his older teacher, but is portrayed as an extrovert compared to his inexperienced teacher - oh and both characters are obsessed with a dark reimagining of Peter Pan novel, which sounded infinitely better.

So both men get on a gay hookup app and unbeknownst to each other, begin talking and the conversations quickly became sexual. The chapters of endless messages back and forth gave me Fifty Shades Darker wartime flashbacks, but I was utterly shocked when it was revealed they’d only been messaging a week - despite never seeing a face picture, they are totally infatuated with each other. In the words of Jonica T. Gibbs‘s Mollie in Fresh - they had each other “dick-mertized”

Now one would think that when the pairing discovers they’re the respective’s teacher and student, this should derail the romance or build suspense till they both succumb to their attraction… Nope.

Literally within minutes, they’re all over each other. There was no suspense, no push and pull or tortuous longing. Who needs character development or suspense when there’s snogging to be had!

Well, there’s lip-service to the conflict that should be there but not for long. Soon both Parker and Donovan engage in a real life relationship, despite the many obstacles in their way. And so commences the many, many, many sex scenes that were essentially the bulk of this entire novel. Johnson established that Parker is more experienced as an out gay man (who knows what he likes) and Donovan is more cautious and timid sexually with men - these dynamics are completely thrown out the window once the more graphic intimate scenes get underway.

There were so many moments that could’ve caused great conflict and tension, but I hated how deliriously happy these characters were - now I love a good love story, but when the angst is so petty it’s painful I quickly become uninterested in the outcome of the main relationship. The university having consequences of a tutor conducting this relationship with a student, the potential of losing educational and career positions, Donovan showing clear nepotism to Parker and any conflict with family, friends or former flames - none of that was explored or even written into the plot itself.

I really wanted something (anything!) to happen that’ll cause the story to delve into something complicated or realistic. If anything, this book has officially put me off reading a book with “light-angst” as this one was advertised.

There was also no distinctive voice between Donovan and Parker - if it wasn’t for Kirt Graves and Tim Paige’s narrations when I decided to listen to the audiobook at times, both male leads read as one-dimensional and their perspectives didn’t give much except for pining for their other half.

Donovan never faces any repercussions for his relationship with Parker. Not from the university, the agency or even his family - his father was a university professor and Donovan even reflects that he’d disapprove if he ever found out about Parker’s origins.

None of this effects him - except when he obsessively inner monologues more about coming out as bisexual rather than the stakes of his relationship if it is uncovered by anyone official connected to the university. Which of course never happened, but conflict about his career prospects breaks the couple up about 90% into the read on my Kindle. Rest assured reader, they only break up due to not being able to communicate for just nine days - even though they and the rest of the cast act like it’s been a month.

One storyline that was such a wasted opportunity was Parker’s work at Pride House - a home for LGBTQ runaway or vulnerable teens. There were so many layers of what could’ve been explored with these characters, which was more a footnote in this plot. Parker even pens a staged adaptation of the gay Peter Pan book for the kids to perform for a charity event.

Now this could have been a BIG character development, Parker taking a piece of literature and adapting it into another medium and seeing his work come to life. Instead, on opening night the actor playing Pan has an anxiety attack and refuses to even go on stage.

So instead of Parker boosting this boy’s confidence or reassuring him the entire cast and crew will help him through it or even having an understudy ready to step in - the support team decide Parker (a man in his mid-twenties) should play opposite a cast of teenagers. Despite removing the romantic moments from the script, it was wildly inappropriate and honestly quite egotistical to have the playwright star in and ultimately “save” the show.

So both characters earn endings that are absolutely unearned and rooted entirely in nepotism based on who they work with or sleep with - you know, a tale as old as time.

Despite my clear dislike of this book, A.M. Johnson isn’t a bad writer and I may give another one of her books a chance in the future - I just really didn’t connect with this book on a plot or character level, which for a romance is crucial.

My rating for A.M. Johnson’s Dear Mr Brody is - ★