Confession: I am a Masochist

(This is meant for adult audiences only... Includes graphic sexual content)

Part 1

Use me for your pleasure.

Free my magick with your power.

and I am yours forever.

These are the daydreams of a masochist. They are not my desires unfulfilled, they are not my wishes to manifest… but purely the exotic stories that fill my mind and fuel my sexuality in various moments of being.

Who is the Masochist of I?

Like a woman will fantasize of rape (and it is one of the top fantasies of ladies around the world), we all chose who would be the perpatrator. Many of you will wonder how this makes it rape, when we have filled in the build, face or even actual name of the man/woman who is forcing this act upon us, it may go against the grain of logic… but that’s they key, it is a fantasy. And one we have created for ourselves in the deepest and perhaps darkest shadows of our sexual selves.

Like those women, many of these stories are merely stories to feed me. There are those which I have experienced and some which I still desire… but understand that a few are simply dreams I chose to share with you in that perhaps it will also bring a new excitement to some of your passions.

I am a masochist. I am a submissive. But I chose who I play with… and unless I trust them fully… how.

My style of masochism is particular…

Every ounce of my being takes pleasure from pain derived in a sexual context… from the emotional to the physical.

Call me a slut… use me like a whore… slap me, spit on me… force me… make me cry… and I’m yours.

.. I am not one to enjoy piercings for the pleasure of the simple pain… but I fantasize of the cruelty of it… tie me to a bed as punishment for something I’ve done, (disturbing a peaceful moment for my own attention grabbing needs)…. show me the needle, touch me, caress me, smack me, fuck me, then pierce me and fuck me some more… not for my pleasure (oh yes, that will come to) but simply for yours… In this there is an undeniable adrenaline of pure sexual desire and excitement in that moment. Yes, of course there is pain… but pain can bring tremendous pleasure. Yes of course there is fear, but some fear only fuels my desire for you more.

I want to be used more than anything… like a cherished little pet you need, savour and desire… a pet for your delicious pleasure.

I love humiliation, I desire punishment… not for the simple pain, but to know that I am watched and desired enough to be shown when i am bad and rewarded when I am good. Physical connection to me combined with mashochistic emotional interaction is the key to to my personal sexual bliss..

Normal life living in a relationship with a Masochistic Slut Sub…

There can be a tendency for a man to not be able to handle the intensity of the being that exists within me… or should I say that is truly me.

What do you do when the masochistic tendencies cross over daily life? When they leave the bedroom?

Do you require a special man who has the balancing side to your submissive and masochistic needs?

Do you require someone who lives, breathes and in each moment with you can be the figure of power?

You must understand that I do not mean this man must never enjoy relaxing with me next to him. That we cannot simply go out to a movie, to dinner or dance the evening away. That he must in some form or the other always be “on”…no, it is simply that this (the powerful, dominating, sadistic Dom/Daddy/Lover) instead is his innate instinct, his true make up to always be the master.

Effortlessly Dominating…. No Acting…. Simply Being Him.

That he is not “effecting” or making an effort to respond to my naturally instigating, unruly masochistic side, or that he is comfortable and (perhaps forcefully) encouraging of my submissive side.

That he does not prefer the regular relations and interaction of intimacy, relationship dynamics and sexuality that most people out there enjoy. That he does not desire this in the least… That like for me… he is naturally in this role.

The effort of being is only felt when he must leave this role…

Yes I enjoy certain aspects of living a daily life. I will be there when a man needs someone to stand by him, I will; always be there when something has upset my man or master, and yes if this man needs to crash to unwind and perhaps experience emotional turmoil, I will be there with no judgement.

To know me, you would understand that I am a powerful person. I do have a strong will, brilliant mind and challenging nature… How can this make me a sub then (I can see all you Doms out there smirking at this….) Because, as we know generically labeling ourselves as “Masochists” and “Submissives” is such a broad column… we must dig deeper to understand the type of little whore you are dealing with.

Once again, my tendencies do not just exist, live and breathe within the confines of a bedroom. I am a fulltime child, a fulltime kitten, a fulltime playmate and a definite fulltime lover of all things bdsm. I love romance, but I need humiliation. I love the scent of roses, and savour breathing it in deeply as a feel the slice of a whip cutting into me…

I am an unruly sub… I need to be shown that my Master can own me…. he can handle me… then he not only has my body, but he claims my mind and respect.

I challenge…. constantly…. this is not something that a lot of Doms enjoy. If you leave me to long without a proper session, I will become a kitten with claws… and I will scratch, bite and prod you until you respond. Denying me a sexual bdsm experience is not effective, it only makes me worse. I need to be shown you are the one in charge.

You will ponder if I can not enjoy the natural and sensual connections of love and sexuality found within the world of normal relationships. You may wonder if an evening of romance filled with flower, candles, soft music, warm oils do not fulfill me… and to be honest reader, they are a sideline craving for me.

Flip the sides of your coins. Think of the many sexual encounter or loving connections you have with your playmate(s) or partner(s). Those rare (or perhaps every so often) occasions where you will crave a bit more dramatic play…. where suddenly you find yourself desiring the experience of handcuffs, bounds, ties or blindfolds. Perhaps for you it’s the thrill to dress up and play a role… a school girl… or a police man… think of how often you desire this. For many of you it’s an occasional enhancement to your sexual adventures. You prepare, you get nervous, you feel the excitement… you play… and then you are fulfilled. You go back to your regular lovemaking, until the next time you need and lust after this type of connection.

For me, it is the opposite to most of you. Where as every so often you find yourself craving a bit of sexual excitement and venture (or tiptoe) into the bdsm realm or role playing world, I every so often find myself needing and desiring pure, simple and passionate romantic experiences. Yes I do need them, yes I do desire them… perhaps a few times a month. The remainder of the time my desires are tied into the (for someone like me) delicious and necessary realm of kink.

Not easy for the normal man or woman out there.

Ah, but I must clarify that I do have the answer to this dilemma, I am one of the few pets who have found the combo of a Lover, a master a daddy and a friend.

Yes my fellow free living masochists…. there seem to be some out there. But before you go on a desperate hunt to find yourself the master (or mistress) of your dreams please take a few moments (days, months, years) to get to know yourself and what type of committed dominater you need. There is a unique blend (or so I`ve been told) to finding the one (or many) can help you explore, nourish and celebrate this aspect of yourself — stepping out into this world blind, is not always the best call… then again if you find that you`re not quite certain what it is you want — go out and play. Just play safe. and wait before you tether yourself to another, for that is a commitment.

Being Bound is Being One with an Exchange of Power and an Infusion of Peace Most Will Never Know….

But I find myself digressing. Yes my tendencies cross over to daily life. What does that mean? It means that I need someone who is naturally, without effort a figure of power and authority.

For those in the bdsm realm, let me also clarify something further about myself. I am a powerful person. I have an extremely strong will, powerful mind and the temperament of a tempest. I am unruly and I do confess to this fully., Yes, the doms out there may find themselves smirking now… most subs are expected to not be that, but also meek. This is not me… so there you have another more complicated need for the man in my life. The ability and love of handling someone as wild as me.

If you can make me love you and fear you. Then I am yours.

If you show me I am yours and that you desire to own me, love me and punish me when needed than I am love.

But I am a possessive slave. Know this. For that is where my loyalty to you lays.

Part 2: Fantasies of a Masochist — Stay Tuned. If you’re ready for it, please “Heart this post” to inspire the sharing of even better... offer a greatly appreciated tip!