Breaking the (Autistic) Love Code: Lee Holloway from Secretary (2002)

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed medical professional and this series is not about diagnosing the character(s) with Autism Spectrum Disorder. This series is a personal examination of the film/TV show's plot, the character's traits and personality and how they relate to me as an Autistic woman. I will also examine canonically Autistic Characters, so take my personal opinions as just that, a personal opinion. I would encourage my readers to seek out different perspectives on disability representation especially from BIPOC disabled creators who are often ignored in the disability discourse. Also some of the topics I will discuss might be triggering so please take care of your mental health when reading. I will also try to avoid giving away any spoilers for those who have not seen the film/TV show but if I have to give context for my arguments, this will be a likely occurrence so please be forewarned.

For this article, I am going to be discussing a film where the main character, Lee Holloway, is not canonically Autistic but throughout the film displays Autistic traits. A Tiktok creator by the name of brittalittasaurus discussed this film in one of their videos and I decided to seek it out for this series. While watching the film, I did spot some Autistic traits in Maggie’s character and I felt it necessary to talk about them along with the relationship between her and James’ character. This film also tackles some very triggering subject matter, including abuse, workplace harassment, self-harm, and assault, so please take care of yourself when reading this article.

Secretary, originally a short story called ‘Bad Behaviour’ by Mary Gaitskill who when asked about the film said that she did not really like it, was an erotic black comedy released in 2002 and it starred James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal, who won a few awards for her performance, as the romantic pair explore a BDSM relationship. The poster that came with the film, shown above, really sent a feeling of “Ick” through me. I hope that I do not have to go into detail as to why Fifty Shades of Gray was horrific in terms of representation of kink, but if the audience insists on it then I may talk about it one of these days.

When we first see Lee, Maggie’s character, she is leaving a mental institution after she “cut too deep” during a self harming attempt and that she had been self-harming since 7th grade. During the character’s monologue, we learn that Lee loved the institution because of its structure and that she has some trepidations about these changes to her environment. She tries to adjust to the change but when she is faced with her alcoholic father during a wedding, she becomes distraught and seeks out her sharps to help her relieve herself of her emotions. She stops herself from doing it but after she witnesses her parents arguing she finds a pot of hot water and burns herself in the thigh. Many Autistic people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to help them deal with extreme emotions or sudden changes to their living situations, whether it is eating disorders, addiction, or self-harm. Autistic people can become very dependent on people and places to help them stay emotionally stable. Autistic people thrive on structure and thus Lee had no reason to self-harm because not only was she on a strict schedule, she was also in a place where she felt safe and away from triggers.

Lee, soon after, takes up typing classes so she can gain some skills in order to be employable; she excels in the typing class and has the highest average compared to her peers. One scene in particular really stuck out to me; was when Lee was in her room trying to practise her responses to interview questions in front of a mirror. These two scenes made me strongly feel that Lee was Autistic because many Autistic people work very hard at excelling at their chosen skill set, and one of those skill sets are often routine, pattern-based skills where it does not require complex instructions. Autistic people often become exceptional at these skill sets that are often overlooked by neurotypicals because Autistic people are not always able to acquire all the skills needed for employment. Practicing in front of a mirror is how some Autistic people “script” their responses to people before going out into the world. Scripting is often used by Autistic people as a means of surviving in the world by, at the very least, attempting to be neurotypical. There has been debate among those in the community whether or not “scripting” is a trauma response or a survival tactic. I for one do not understand this debate because it assumes that scripting can either be one or the other. I am of the opinion that scripting is both a trauma response and a survival tactic for Autistic people.

When Lee attempts to throw her sharps away, she finds a job ad in the garbage, an unintentional metaphor or just coincidence we may never know, and she goes to apply for the job at an attorney's office where we meet the eccentric, Mr. Edward Grey. When Edward and Lee interact with each other, we see that Lee is direct and honest when asked about her living situation and other very personal questions. Edward tries to deter her from applying for the job by telling her it is very boring work but Lee is unbothered by this saying that she likes “dull work.” Edward finally relents and hires her for the position as Secretary for his office. She does get his letters done and is proficient at her job as Secretary and she and Edward establish a rapport with each other. One scene where Edward’s ex shows up at the office around the same time that her father calls her work drunk, overwhelms her and attempts to self-harm but decides against it. When Autistic people become determined at something they will very often take on jobs that seem “boring” to the average person but they will very often enjoy it because of how stimulating it can be but oftentimes the other aspects of a job can be very overwhelming for most Autistic people and push them into a meltdown.

When Lee is on her date with Peter at the laundromat, Edward happens to be at this laundromat at the same time and sees their date. He is clearly very jealous of this and as a result he decides to find every excuse to punish her. He gets extremely irritated at her spelling mistakes and asks her to type them again with no mistakes. He also finds some of her habits, sniffling, tongue clicking, and toe-tapping as irritating, and calls her outfits disgusting. He also notices the cuts on Lee’s leg and confronts her about it. He demands that she no longer does self-cutting, he also asks her to leave work early and walk home, and Lee obeys him. I saw the toe-tapping and hair touching as Autistic stims since I tend to do these actions when I am trying to focus on my tasks or else regulating my emotions, that also seems to be the case for Lee as well as she is very focused on her tasks when she stims. It was clear during that scene that Edward understood why she cut herself and why he was very concerned about her well-being because of it.

The infamous/famous scene in the film was where Edward asks Lee to bend over his desk to read a letter that contained a typo that she made, outloud. Edward then spanks her continuously while reading the letter and Lee discovers soon after that she enjoys getting spanked by Edward and sets out to make mistakes on purpose so she can receive the punishment and pursue a sadomasochistic relationship with him. I need to make a side note here because, besides the obvious power dynamic between Edward and Lee in a work environment and this would constitute as sexual harassment, there was no consent between Lee and Edward during that scene. Lee was not made aware of the “punishment” that was going on. The fact that she is an emotionally vulnerable woman, who was not given the tools to navigate these types of situations, really highlights some of the situations that Autistic people will face in the workplace when they are not prepared for them. Of course, this is not saying that Autistic people are getting spanked by their bosses but more insidious forms of abuse have often happened in workplaces where Autistic people are the employees. Kat Blaque, a creator on Youtube that people should definitely watch, really does a great breakdown of the film from a BDSM standpoint.

Lee continues to obey him in terms of tasks and also makes mistakes on purpose so that Edward can continually punish her. They establish a type of relationship where BDSM is the foundation with Lee doing certain humiliating tasks, she does enjoy doing these but I do strongly feel that if in another context, I would not have the feeling that she was being groomed. The spanking has, obviously, become a replacement for her cutting habit. One day when she makes a mistake on purpose, Edward completely ignores the mistake and lets her leave work early. When she is with her mother and friends, her mother gets a call from the hospital saying that her father has been admitted to the hospital. This event obviously upsets her and she decides to get to Edward’s house to ask him for a spanking. Lee does not properly communicate her needs which results in Edward being confused by her sudden appearance at his house and he goes cold on her. She is left without a means to cope with her extreme feelings, she tries to move on from it by pursuing a relationship with Peter but it is clear that she does not get from Peter what she gets from Edward. In those scenes, I saw how Lee has trouble communicating her needs in almost every aspect, possibly due to the trauma of witnessing addiction in her family. Autistic people have a different communication style compared to neurotypicals, Lee does try to be direct with Peter in terms of her needs but Peter is clearly too uncomfortable when it comes to her sexual needs. Lee’s interactions with the opposite sex are very awkward overall, which can indicate Autism since it seems the men around her are neurotypical can it can also be tied to her alcoholic father.

Lee goes to find a worm in the family garden and puts it in a letter to provoke Edward. When Edward finds the worm and calls her into the office, she is expecting a spanking from him but instead he masturbates over her bare ass and tells her to get back to her job. Lee is incredibly disappointed with this and decides to go into the bathroom to masturbate over some of the mistakes that Edward asked her to correct in the past. It is clear that Lee wants a romantic relationship with Edward but he does not want it due to his own sense of shame and his guilt over his fetishes. It is shown later that he has done this to past employees as well, and he does not know how to really overcome those aspects of his identity until the end of the film. He destroys the evidence of his past relationships including photos of these past encounters. Afterward, he tries to apologize to her for his behavior but decides against it and fires her instead. This type of dynamic is toxic from the start, and adding to Lee’s dependency is Edward’s need to dominate others and does not know how to channel it in a healthy way. With Autistic people, they will often accept toxic behavior because most are not taught how to spot abusive behavior and are often left abandoned in dangerous situations because of it, whether that relationship is work related or romantic.

What troubled me about this was that Edward was clearly uncomfortable with Lee’s demands in the relationship. Lee expects very different things from Edward that were communicated but she does not have an understanding of boundaries. This is a common theme in neuro-mixed relationships where two people have different communication styles and expectations. It is important to make compromises in communication so that both parties can be understood when faced with difficult situations. These communication difficulties do not excuse Autistic people from abusing or otherwise harming their partner in any relationship; Autistic people are just as capable of communicating their needs. In the context of kink, it is also troubling that Lee constantly violates Edward’s boundaries and does not seek to understand why he is not reciprocating the relationship. There are aspects of this movie that are realistic and some that are not very realistic and veer into fantasy most of the time. People are entitled to have their fantasies, and as long as they stay fantasies or consensual play then there should not be any issues. Autistic people do very often participate in kink for many reasons; I myself have found a group of people who understand me as a person who has unique challenges and needs that a regular person cannot meet.

After Lee gets fired, she tries to move on from Edward and decides to go on blind dates with random kinky people but finds no connection with any of the men she meets. She gets a marriage proposal from Peter and she reluctantly agrees to marry him because she feels like she does not have any other option. It is clear that Lee is unhappy with not only losing her coping mechanism but also losing that one place that gave her a sense of structure and rules. Edward was willing to give that to her but only if she respected his personal boundaries. This is in no way excusing Edward from basically using his position of power to dominate Lee nonconsensually but he clearly saw the effect it had on her in terms of her wellbeing. He sees how Lee is becoming dependent on him to fulfill her emotional needs and he does not have the tools to do this besides being dominant. I do see why Gaitskill had problems with the film because it seems to skim over the possible consequences of an intense relationship with an emotionally vulnerable person. It is up to the individual to confront their own personal issues and not lay the responsibility on the other. It was not Lee’s responsibility to fix Edward’s feelings of shame and it is not Edward’s to fix Lee’s emotional problems and trauma.

When Lee is preparing for the wedding, she stares at herself in the mirror and comes to the realization that she cannot marry Peter; so she runs away to Edward’s office to confess her love to him. Edward refuses at first, having very different feelings about their relationship but ends up testing her by telling Lee that she must never leave his desk until he tells her to. Lee, with strong dedication, stays at the desk for days, to the point where she urinates on herself, even to the protests and efforts of those around her. Edward eventually returns, declaring his love for her while cleaning her up and finally being intimate with her. The end of the movie shows the two of them getting married and doing the usual married couple schtick while also maintaining a D/S relationship. This ending felt very unrealistic to me because not only did Edward put her through physical and emotional turmoil to earn his affection, this moment was where both individuals were vulnerable and Edward took advantage of it. Knowing that Autistic people will attempt to accomplish a goal, and are often stubborn when it comes to that, gives a very dark image.

To end, this film has had plenty of opportunities to explore the line between fantasy and reality in terms of power-exchange relationships since this film was willing to highlight Edward’s complicated relationship with his sexual desires and Lee’s need for structure in her life as well as healthy coping mechanisms. There are numerous cases of neurodivergent people in these types of relationships both consensually and nonconsensually; it is important to highlight the toxicity in some relationships in order for neurodivergent people to thrive and spot toxic people. As stated before, people are entitled to their fantasies but if those fantasies are ever crossed into the real world, it can have some serious consequences as the #MeToo movement has shown over the years. Kink is one way for people to express themselves but like with any relationship, boundaries, communication, and empathy are important aspects and should not be ignored because that individual gets a thrill out of violating boundaries or rules.

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