You Can’t Spell Irresponsible Without IRS

Two men sat down for a game of cribbage.

They’re in their early forties. They knock back beers.

“I got ninety thousand out of them,” Aldis Spencer mentioned.

“Ninety? What’d you fire your accountant?” Colver Dunst asked.

Accountants. I was paying them forty grand a year. This missed where the money was going and it turned out the IRS owed me,” Aldis replied.

“Damn.”

“Damn is right,” Spencer signaled for more beer at the Wilmington, Delaware pub.

“I mean what gives? Can’t we live without the IRS? Don’t we just need cops, courts, and troops?” Spencer asked and sipped.

“But the bureaucrats are going to need to get paid, too,” Dunst pointed out.

“No, they make far more with their book deals and speeches. Not to mention, they somehow know when disaster will strike and reflect that with action in the markets.”

“Either way, they’re going to get their cut,” Dunst replied. The beers reached the table with some tequila and shot glasses.

“If I could tell you to take a shot for every IRS nightmare that has occurred in its history, you’d be under the table. I swear,” Spencer said.

“I don’t doubt it but it’s like herpes, the IRS is here to stay,” Dunst replied.

“I don’t think that has to be the case. I mean the best period in history was the 1800’s: fewest amount of wars around the globe, slavery was abolished, and industry surged. There was no IRS. People flourished under the banner of the dollar despite some interference of the government into the economy. We don’t need it,” Spencer outlined.

Dunst took a shot. He saw a dart whiz into the air and smiled.

“I know, and we don’t have to get drunk to do it…we can just go up to people and ask if there should be an IRS or not.”

“That’s not going to work,” Spencer countered.

“Why not?”

Because people are going to favor the idea of such an organization,” Spenser replied. “They’re going to liken it to eating your vegetables or going to the dentist. They’re going to say how it helps the poor and that the wealthiest pay their ‘fair share.’ It would not be wise to….”

Dunst was on his feet, beer in hand asking people about forced taxation. He got a lot of chuckles and head nodding. Some got serious, others remained uncertain. He returned to the table.

“Split right down the line. 50/50. The ones who were for the organization were adamant. They were vociferous about their opinions. They said that if there was no IRS, then this

country wouldn’t work. The roads, bridges, and tunnels; the stop lights, and postal services; the local, state, and federal employees would be out of their jobs,” Dunst declared.

“That would be because those jobs should be in the private sector to begin with. All you if the infrastructure and fire halls would be taken over by private means and the government would only protect individual rights. What it is doing now is the absolute opposite of that,” Spencer proclaimed.

“I still hold that the IRS is supposed to stand in as the government money changer that grants people their cash for services provided.”

“And I say that there is a line that must not be crossed. It is sacred. That is the line of life and property of the individual. Without such a division between the State and the person, there is no justice to be viewed.”

Dunst drank. Spencer drank. They had a good buzz going but were still like sentries guarding their ideas. They downed the shots and chased them with more beer.