You Are Worth Fighting For

If the world was ending, then at least he had this.

He knew that it was stupid to hope, and selfish to think that something could actually change and that his life was a tragedy waiting to happen, but if it were truly the end of days, then he would take anything over this. Anything that brought him the moment where he could hold her hand, kiss her lips, see those beautiful blue eyes looking up at him with adoration. Everything, in all its glory.

Everything would have been better than this, for now, because he would have felt whole again and she would be here by his side when it happened. But right now, he was standing still on the bridge staring down at the water below. His hand clenched around the railing as though it were the only thing holding him up.

He wished that they had never come to meet, that he hadn’t let himself get so attached. He didn’t want to be like this.

But that’s just who he was, wasn’t he? And it wasn’t as though she wanted to be with anyone else either. She deserved so much better than some old man who couldn’t even keep track of time anymore.

“I thought I heard you scream from here,” a voice said from behind him. It startled him out of his thoughts. “Are you okay?”

His head turned slowly until he looked back up at the person who had spoken, and there she stood.

She looked so pretty, standing there, and he wanted to tell her that she should have run away when she got the chance. That he should have chased after her and told her how he really felt. But he didn’t know what to say. So instead he smiled.

“I guess so,” he said. Then he stepped down off the bridge.

There were so many things that she would rather do than be there. There were so many things that she hated about her current situation, but most of them came together in a single sentence: he was an idiot.

They both sat there silently for a few moments before he decided to break the silence. “So, um, you don’t mind my company, right?” He asked, looking up at her.

It sounded strange coming from him, almost like he was begging. It was probably because that’s exactly what he was doing.

“No, of course not,” she answered automatically and then realized that she meant it.

It was weird seeing him without his usual grin, or the spark in his eye that seemed to always shine brighter when he was happy. She remembered the first day she’d seen him smile, the way it lit up his face, the way his eyes shone in the light of the sun.

"Sorry,” he said quickly. “I shouldn’t have yelled. This is my fault, so I’m sorry that we have to sit here in this place.”

“No, I’m sorry,” she replied softly. “For not listening when you needed someone to talk to. For running away when I should have stayed. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t do any of those things ever. Not anymore.”

Her words sent a chill through him. He remembered the way she used to look at him, how her eyes shone whenever he made her laugh or smiled at her. All of that had been stolen from him; taken right out from under him by this monster.

“You deserve better than me,” he said, his throat dry.

The words burned his tongue, and he wondered why he was saying them.

“Stop being so hard on yourself,” she said, resting a hand gently against his cheek. “We’ve known each other forever, you can’t blame yourself for what I do.”

Her touch was so familiar to him that he could feel every little detail of the curve of her skin or the texture of her hair against his fingers. But now he felt nothing, no familiarity, no comfort. All he felt was a deep ache inside of his chest, and it took everything in him not to start crying.

“This isn’t supposed to happen,” he whispered. “My father said that there’s no such thing as fate, that there are no guarantees that we’ll meet again one day. We have to work harder, and put more effort into our lives. I never thought that one day you might be the person that changed everything.”

The words hurt to speak. But he kept going, unable to stop himself. “I know what you think, about destiny, about the rules and expectations. But I promise you this, Kyra: no matter what happens, I will never give up on you. You are worth fighting for, and more importantly, you are worth fighting for because I love you.”

And then, because she deserved that much more, he kissed her.

***