Y2K and the Imminent Digital Apocalypse

In 1999, my sister-in-law fretted the coming disaster with the changeover of computers from the 1900s to the 2000s. When computers were first developed, digital storage was expensive, so the dating scheme had just 2 digits, e.g., 59 instead of 1959. In this way, 2 digits of hard disk space were saved whenever a date was recorded or applied to each and every file being laid down on hard drives.

Oops!

When 2000 were to come, every computer in the world would think it was 1900 instead. You can only imagine the confusion for data storage, the grid, and...well...everything. We were digitally doomed.

Many predicted a total meltdown of civilization. Many, including my sister-in-law, prepared "Y2K bunkers" stocked with family needs, canned food, bottled water, etc. She was ready to survive while we begged to be let in.

Now, New Orleans is a place where we party for anything. There're Mardi Gras, Jazz Fest, but even hurricane parties. So, it was only natural that we'd have a Y2K party before the world collapsed into ruins.

The TV was loud, awaiting the ringing in of the New Year. We watched and drank, but I kept eyes on my in-law, who grew increasingly nervous as midnight approached. At five minutes to, I noticed she had her car keys in hand.

"Do you think cars are gonna work?" I asked. She swallowed hard. The countdown began.

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...and—

The whole house went suddently dark. The TV snapped off. The music stopped. My sister-in-law screamed.

I had shown my son how to crank off the entire house at the circuit breaker box at the right time. Now, although this was funny, it wasn't that great a joke. I'll warrant that it wasn't particularly clever, either.

What I will say is that herein lay an opportunity to pull off a joke that only comes about once every thousand years.

And what I'm particularly proud about is that I stepped up. It was a narrow window of cosmic opportunity. I engaged; I delivered!

For the ages. For the millennium.

And then we all starved to death when the logistics grid went dead and no food was able to be distributed beyond the farms.